IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!

Like I told you all last week. It's shoplifting season.

Kimberly Nicole Moody was arrested for the 20th time for shoplifting. It's her job. She steals stuff. Gets arrested. Gets 3 meals a day in jail. Released. Wash, rinse repeat. It beats the hell out of working.

Tobassia.. stole 31.11 worth of clothes hidden in her diaper bag. That's too little reward for high risk.

Robin L. Smith, B/M, 59 yo... Stole 2 beers from Circle K. Value was $3.98. Robin said "I have a drinking problem." Nope. You have a money problem.

Phone line: "Bill Cassidy is for the oil companies. Has anyone forgotten the BP oil spill? Vote for Mary."

Kayla Carter, W/F, 28 y.o.. Tried to walk through the drive in window at Taco Bell. Got in a fight with the car behind her. Kicked in the cars doors. Cops were called. Kayla yelled at them calling them 'bitches and counts.' I'm assuming that the police were female.

Now on to this week's mal-named perps:

First/Middle Names:

Mertin .. male version of Myrtle.
Shiquil .. female version of Shack.
Shedaryl .. female version of Daryl..but it's a guy.
Carmaro .. old time car.
Zikiteran .. Star Trek. The Zikitarians were aliens.
Tellus Omarious... this was one of the bronze statues in Jason and the Argonauts.
Hallrando Bellini .. arrested for walking in the middle of the street. Does that ring a bell?
Ezekial LeKieth Bryant ... OK, we got Jewish, French and Anglo.
Lashwanita .. great name for a domanatrix.
Qwangila.. Tarzan language .. "Cheeta, Qwangila, Ungawa." Means "Has Jane been using my razor on her legs again?"
Marcullus ... the bad Roman in Ben Hur.
Addle Hussein Ali Alhomeedi ... drunk in public; I thought Muslims weren't supposed to drink.
Kealfra .. a type of lettuce.
Raydacio .. a type of red cabbage. Really good stuff.
Anternette .. What we are all on right now.
Aubin ... a college in Alabama.
Emoray ... college in Atlanta, Ga.