IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!

OK, I warned you people about shop lifting season and how you should do it. But you keep hitting the low end stores with very little reward for risk.

Shoplifters of the Week:

Shemica ... She got some chicken at the Wal-Mart deli and ate it in the store without paying. OK, good move. This is called 'grazing.' But then she stole a bike valued at $99.97. I'm assuming that was her getaway vehicle.

Dick Durrett.. white guy stole a shoulder roast. Value was 16.36. Mistake... he put the shoulder roast under his sweater which made him look pregnant. Guys can't get pregnant. Don't steal roasts. They aren't that expensive. You can steal 50 bucks worth of filet mignon with less bulk.
Tynike Kaytiana ... Cashier stole 5K from the store.
Shanishia Shaquan ..Circle K, please, no.

Now, on the the regular perps of the week:

First/Middle Names:

Lachristopher .. French for Chris.
Jimecia .. Female version of Jim.
Regaile ... festive outfit.
Perdarius . Roman general
Piticous .. Another Roman general
Dre .. Pimping. Named after the doctor.
Shondqueshia ... Prostitute. Pic, no price. I'd say 5 bucks.
Taquenta .. spanish term for liquid volume. "I'll have a Taquenta of beer."
Melody Dove... How can you be a thief with such a nice name?
Izavion .. stopped for having pants too low. The reason? He had a hand gun in his pockets. Please, people. Don't wear pants when the elastic waist band wears out from too many washings. They can't support a revolver.
Brondalyn... a stringed instrument.
Justin Wilson...black guy named after a Cajun comic.
Boris .. black guy named after Natasha's boy friend.
Wayland.. black guy named after a country singer.
Crystal Gail .. black girl named after a country singer.
Toqueenta .. ripped up her man with a kitchen knife.
Solon .. mom wanted a senator. She got a drug dealer.

Finally, I want to give props to ...
Drunk of the Month:

Ben, WM, 57, blew a .274 while driving!!! He is not eligible for Drunk of the Year because he did indeed get into a wreck. If you can blow a .300 and not get in a wreck you are in the drunk's Hall of Fame. Know the rules.