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Sort of spin off thread: when's the last time you shite your pants?
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:29 pm
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:29 pm
Last time I shite myself I was a resident on call in a children's hospital. There was a stomach virus going around. Those little disease vectors got to me. I was shitting like a half gallon of dirty water diarrhea every 20-30 minutes. I had to carry an IV pole and fluids with me while rounding. The whole group of us go into a patients room. The attending proceeds to lecture for like an hour. I can't hold it. I let some leak and promptly excuse myself.
14
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:30 pm to white perch
When I was a toddler
WO
WO
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:31 pm to Walt OReilly
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:31 pm to white perch
There I sat
All broken hearted
Never shat
But still I sharted
All broken hearted
Never shat
But still I sharted
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:32 pm to white perch
quote:
when's the last time you shite your pants?
you talking about a little shart or a full-on underwear-loading shite?....
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:33 pm to white perch
First week on the job I was peeing and let a fart go out got more than I was bargaining for. I went in the stall and started taking my drawers off somebody came in and got in the stall next to me. He pood and I sat there. Twiddling my thumbs.
Then later on my new boss stopped in and asked if I was having problems.
Bastage.
Then later on my new boss stopped in and asked if I was having problems.
Bastage.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:36 pm to Spankum
quote:
you talking about a little shart or a full-on underwear-loading shite?....
Whatever you got
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:41 pm to white perch
Yesterday. Had a Omelette with peppers, onions, bacon, etc. and a couple bloody's for brunch. Go for a run around 3:30 pm. 5 miles in with only a couple miles left to go. Tell myself "common brody's_lettuce, you can hold it". Get about a 1/2 mile from apartment complex. Can't hold it, shite starts to seep into my shorts. I run up the stairs of the complex to my floor. Get to my apartment, open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk. the dinosaur.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:53 pm to white perch
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:54 pm to white perch
2nd grade.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:54 pm to SabiDojo
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:55 pm to white perch
Quite a few years ago I was working at a corporate dental clinic in Hammond. That place was so ratchet I had to leave at lunch to get out the the dental air for a bit.
I got a poboy at one of the local joints and used to park under a tree by the soccer fields about a half mile from the clinic. I had just finished my sandwich and decided I needed to fart. I raised my left check off the the seat just a bit to let it fly. The warmth I felt in my loins immediately mortified me since I knew what had just transpired.
Luckily, raising my buttocks off the seat was my saving grace. I started the truck and drove the short distance to the office with my but off the seat, snuck in the back door and headed straight my private bathroom. I was able to clean myself up with absolutely no bleed through on my scrubs.
I ditched my boxers into the dumpster and worked the afternoon schedule commando.
I was 39 at the time. They tell you to never trust a fart after 40. I'm telling you that advice is not empiric.
I got a poboy at one of the local joints and used to park under a tree by the soccer fields about a half mile from the clinic. I had just finished my sandwich and decided I needed to fart. I raised my left check off the the seat just a bit to let it fly. The warmth I felt in my loins immediately mortified me since I knew what had just transpired.
Luckily, raising my buttocks off the seat was my saving grace. I started the truck and drove the short distance to the office with my but off the seat, snuck in the back door and headed straight my private bathroom. I was able to clean myself up with absolutely no bleed through on my scrubs.
I ditched my boxers into the dumpster and worked the afternoon schedule commando.
I was 39 at the time. They tell you to never trust a fart after 40. I'm telling you that advice is not empiric.
This post was edited on 6/16/14 at 11:00 pm
Posted on 6/16/14 at 10:59 pm to white perch
Been a long time. Many close calls.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 11:01 pm to Relham10
3 deer seasons ago. I'm gonna miss that shirt I was wearing at the time, had to use it for tp.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 11:03 pm to yumahog
Also the last time I ate a greasy breakfast before heading to the deer stand. Now I carry a breakfast bar or pop tarts.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 11:04 pm to yumahog
Also the last time I ate a greasy breakfast before heading to the deer stand. Now I carry a breakfast bar or pop tarts.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 11:10 pm to yumahog
Couple of years ago...Got sick while racing dirt bikes... bout 45 minutes into a 3 hour race. Shat my pants then threw up in my helmet.
When I was a teen... I crashed so hard it knocked the vomit and shite out of me. Was lucky to survive that one with a just a torn rotator cuff and broken rib.
When I was a teen... I crashed so hard it knocked the vomit and shite out of me. Was lucky to survive that one with a just a torn rotator cuff and broken rib.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 11:16 pm to white perch
A couple months ago I had a stomach virus and I trusted a fart. And then a few months before that the same thing happened except I was just hungover.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 11:27 pm to white perch
Freshman year of college in the dorms. The poor cleaning ladies had just done their thing in the bathroom/showers. I naively blew some arse fresh from the shower (the make up of which notoriously hard to gauge while your bunghole is still wet) onto the floor. Luckily, I was just wrapped in a towel and beat a hasty retreat back to the shower for a second round before escaping unseen from the bathroom.
I returned nonchalantly from my dorm room a few minutes later to finish brushing my teeth to find exhibit A magically missing from the tile floor.
I never caught wind, so to speak, about it. I imagine those poor cleaning ladies had long since seen it all by the time of my accident.
I returned nonchalantly from my dorm room a few minutes later to finish brushing my teeth to find exhibit A magically missing from the tile floor.
I never caught wind, so to speak, about it. I imagine those poor cleaning ladies had long since seen it all by the time of my accident.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 11:36 pm to shutterspeed
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