TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread | Page 8 | TigerDroppings.com

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Burt Reynolds
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Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


quote:

tribe likes to pump good vibes, whether or not you pick up on them is your own deal. there were times on this earth people were like "man i listen to jam bands all day, i really want to listen to electronic spacey shite but want it to be mostly played with instruments." well if you thought that 10 years ago tribe was your shite and you still go to their shows regardless because of how many good vibes they laid out over the years. i was very skeptical of the spectacle at first but realized what it was all about at e-forest 2012 on awesome L and smokin deem/changa like it was pot. they led you through interdimensional travel and unlocked datastream secrets. if you couldnt "get" what was going on you probably thought it was simply a bunch of ravers eating mahldawg watching a light show. tribe and UM are almost complete opposites and fortunate to appreciate both styles. Papadosio started off like sts9 w more jams.. even theyll tell ya tribe paved the way for many bands.


marc bownsteing fricking lulz at this

quote:

My pinning was a huge deal, and happened the night after 10k after everyone left and our kids got permission to stay on the land for a few days and clean up before we left for yellowstone and glacier during the off days between 10k and seattle. Camp was kicking, a few off our kids where in the kitchen getting dinner ready, some kids where getting the fire started, and me and dawn and few others where out on a groundscore mission. This was just after the sun went down, we where walking up to camp (camp goodness sponsered by cookies, that is!!!) when 7-8 of our kids are walking towards me with this distinct look on their face. Now, about my actual pinning... Catch me in the real world sometime, ill tell you over a bowl, but something like that is just to personal to discuss over the internet. Lets just say it was special. I will say this, after i got pinned, dawn gives me this huge kiss and is like "baby you deserved that." After i got pinned we all had a huge celebration. It was a special time. We had a huge family dinner, and after dinner a sheet was put in a bottle of orange juice and everyone was ceremonially dropped by the Rev.


I remember my first pinning ceremony



This post was edited on 5/9 at 1:10 am


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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
L.A.
Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


I drink delicious, clean, unfiltered New York City tap water, at home or in my own water bottle. If in a situation where I'm somehow forced to drink bottled water, I'll take something in a glass bottle over something in plastic. If reduced to plastic, I'll take Poland Spring (or whatever the regional spring water is if I'm outside the Northeast) or maybe Volvic (the best-tasting bottled water imo), assuming it hasn't been obviously sitting in the sun with the plastic leaching into it. Fiji tastes ok, but not as good as Volvic, and I refuse to drink anything with that kind of environmental/social footprint. Evian is drinkable if there's no alternative, but kinda bad - I prefer Acqua Panna, for one. Dasani (Coke) is absolutely disgusting, and Aquafina (Pepsi) not much better. Both are designed, like their fructosed and carbonated products, to get you to drink(/buy) more of the product, the waters by making you thirstier via added sodium.








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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
L.A.
Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


I had secretly fantasized about getting charged up. I'm a bareback bottom , love to get fricked, and having a guy breed my hole. The idea of having a hot guy frick me and blow his dirty seed in all in my arse had inspired many spank marathons. I'm sure that I have taken a poz load before not knowing the status of whoever was fricking me or really even caring for that matter. I had never knowingly let a guy that was poz frick me. One night I was cruising all the slut sites looking for other bareback guys to play with when this really hot guy messaged me. He said that he had read in my profile that I liked to go bare and that I was a btm. He told me that he was looking 4 a hole to use 4 the evening. That got my attention I had never been submissive and must admit it had been another fantasy of mine to completely give up control. He asked me if I was into pnp and I told him that I do party sometimes. We chatted 4 a little while with the standard Q&A, u know how big, what position, where to cum. Then I asked poz/neg? He responded with poz. I told him that I was neg. To which he responded "u want to get a charged load n u tonight?" I was shocked and very turned on, I asked him if he fricked neg guys bareback. He told me he did all the time and that he even hosted several conversion party’s. I wasn’t familiar with the term, he explained that a conversion party’s was were a group of poz tops get together and breed a neg guy. The soul reason 4 this was to spread dirty seed, and infect the neg btm. Before I could answer he asked me if I liked to pnp. I told him that I did, but I didn’t have any party supplies. He said that if I wanted I could come over to his place and get arse fricked and get high. He asked me if I had ever slammed, I told him that I had been slammed before but I was terrified of needles. "I'm very good at slamming others" he returned. Should I go? The thought of getting slammed and pounded was so tempting but was I ready to take that step towards becoming poz? "I might arse well" I responded. He gave me directions and I was on my way. When I got to his house we sat and talked 4 a while. He told me that he was going to enjoy planting his dirty seed in me, then asked me if I liked groups. I told him yes and he said good that he would get us slammed then have a few of his top buddies stop by and load my ass. He told me that I was going be a cum dump 4 him and his friends. I asked him if the guys were poz or neg he told me that they were poz. This made my dick begin to grow. He got the slamm ready and did me first. When he released the belt on my arm I could feel the rush hit me instantly. Then came the cough. I could feel that it was a very strong slamm. He did himself and sat down on the bed next to me. I started sucking his dick while I was taking off my clothes. He stood up bent me over the side of the bed, lubed my hole up with some elbow grease that was laying on the bed, and shoved his dick all the way in. Normally this would have brought tears to my eyes and a fist to his face, but it didn’t even really hurt, I guess I was so high that I couldn’t feel it. It wasn’t long before he started to pound really hard and said he was about to cum. He stopped and pulled out and made me tell him that I wanted hid seed. Which I told him. He managed to get his dick back inside me, and with a few hard thrust he unloaded in my hole. He walked out of the room and told me to stay put. When he returned he had a collar and some restraints, which he fastened on my wrist, ankles, and neck. Then I followed him into another room, it was a play room, with a sling, TV playing porn, frick bench, some toys and lube and a computer set up with a web cam. He helped me into the sling and hooked the restraints to the chain supports. Then started to cruise the sex sites 4 tops to come and try out my hole. In no time 15 or 20 mins. there was 3 guys in line to blow their load in tight hole, and 5 more on the way. I realized that I had just came to this guys house let him drop a charged load n me and now was going to be a cum dump 4 who ever he wants and I hadn’t even gotten his name. He walked over to the sling and let me know that the web cam was on and I was going to be used all weekend. There must have been 10 or more guys that had charged my arse with dirty seed before the slamm started to fade away. He could tell that I was beginning to come down and he mixed up a booty bump and told me to get on the floor face down with my arse in the air, as he unlocked the restraints.





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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
L.A.
Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


Once I was on the floor he inserted the booty bump and told me to squeeze my arse tight so that the booty bump and all the spunk wouldn’t drip out. As I started to feel my stomach cramp up from the booty bump he dressed me and told me that we were going to the baths and that I was going to take all loads. He rented one of the sling rooms and told me to get into the sling as he mixed up another booty bump. I secured the restraints myself , all but one arm. He came over secured the last arm and started to insert another booty bump. I told him that I was ok 4 now. To this he responded by placing a ball gag n my mouth and continued with my booty bump. It had only been about 20 mins since the last one. Now I was so high that I couldn’t focus my see straight. He began to frick me again, telling my how sloppy my hole was and that when he had fricked me the first time that he had ripped me. He said that he knew because when he pulled out there was blood all over his dick. He said that was a good thing, it would make it easier to ensure that my neg status was gone for good. Then he told me that he had used the point 4 my slam and that when he slammed me there was still a good bit of his poison blood in it, and now it was running thru my veins. He must have been fricking me 4 at least an hour, not that I was complaining. My arse was so hungry from the booty bumps that the only thing I could think about was getting more dick. He shot another death load in me then opened the door and walked away. It was a few mins before the first guy walked in and began to get his dick hard so that he could frick me. He was a much older man probably 55 or 60 but he had a huge cock. He came after about 5 mins of fricking wiped his dick off and left. I didn’t realize that there was a group of 4 guys waiting, they took turns one after the other all loading my eager ass. A while later my friend returned, closed the door and mixed up a huge booty bump. He squeezed it into my hole and for good measure he pushed a large rock of meth up my arse with his finger. He massaged it until it was completely dissolved. Then he removed the ball gag and asked me how I was doing. I was so high I couldn’t hardly answer but I managed to say that I was feeling a little dizzy and hot. He gave me a bottle of water and told me to drink it all as he unlocked the restraints. I drank the water and instantly began to feel better. He said that he had to leave to do something but that he would be back. Then he told me that he had left a message on the all the dry erase boards saying there was a "eager arse in the sling room taking all loads POZ IS A PLUS" as he left. I knew that I should probably get up and leave but the meth was starting to take effect. So I waited. It wasn’t long before a line began to form, I eagerly took every load that was offered. I'm not sure how long I was there in the sling room or how many guys filled my hole with their juice. When I finally started to come down from the meth climbed out of the sling, put on my clothes, and left the bath house. I felt so trashy when I walked into the day light, like everyone knew what I had just done. Not to mention that there was a wet place on the arse of my jeans where some of the spunk had slipped out of my now opened hole. It has been a few months since that happened so I'm not sure what my status is but I did feel like I had the flu about 2 or 3 weeks after it happened.





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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
L.A.
Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


red lobster copy pasta continued

quote:

haha wow i just checked in to this thread after forgetting about it for like 2 weeks and you guys are still seriously waiting for some random dude to tell u about red lobster and take pictures and post them for you? This is seriously what is on your minds daily? I even had one of you RL fluffers actually PM me asking me about it like "derrrr hey broseph wonder if you went to red lobster yet derrrrrrrrr how was it man?" PM someone you never met over stupid shite like this? jesus man you guys need to get off PT for a while and get a real life if this is the shite that occupies your mind. I was wondering how long i could get you guys to keep this stupid shite up, but holy shite man. yeah i went to red lobster for the 30 shrimp deal. wasnt going to cause i could give a shit, but friends from austin were in town doing the tourist thing and met them for a drink near times square and they were in the mood for seafood. i suggested RL half jokingly and mentioned the deal. them being on a budget, they agreed saying they havent been in years. we went. as i first walked in, i was pleasantly surprised. the hostess was frickin hot. i mean HOT! what this skinny tan brunette goddess was doing hostessing at a RL i will never know. she brought us to our table. we were given water with no ice. We wait about 6-7 minutes before our waitreiss shows up to take our drink order, answer questions, and offer suggestions. well, it takes another five minutes for this tortoise to bring us our drinks, which were weak and absolutely bland. this place was not busy AT ALL. kinda weird for prime dinner time in times square for the best seafood in the world no? alas, our server should not be taking this long. but i'm not here for the drinks, i'm here to try the supposedly great food. i should mention that while the waitress was finishing our drink order, some wonderfully smelling CBB's arrived at our table and i politely mentioned before she left that we would definitely be needing more of these as we were very hungry. the smell was great, thats it. they were totally burned on the bottom i mean black around the edges and dark brown in the middle. the only edible part of the entire batch of CBB's were the middle of the very top of the biscuits so much for these legendary biscuits. they were fricking horrid. when we get our drinks we are obv. ready to order but we still have to wait for the waitress to come back, and when she does she wreaks of cigarettes. nice time to take a smoke break sweetie, and i see you were very well trained by this "fine" establishment. i go with the clam chowder and my 2 friends order the lobster and crab stuffed mushrooms and we all get salads. for dinner we all get the 30 shrimp deal, and i get the scampi and mango jalepeno combo, my friends get a mix of those with the fried and grilled skewered shrimp. i should mention again that this place was not busy and every course took frickin forever. guess the kitchen staff was well trained too. the clam chowder was like someone poured cold frickin milk over raw chopped potatoes with maybe 2 stiff chewy pieces of clam in it with no seasoning. i almost spit out the first bite and had to use half of the salt shaker in order to force half of the rest of the the bowl down. my friends didnt even finish the mushrooms, so i tried one to see how bad they actually were.. the presentation made them look disgusting, the mushrooms were severely overcooked and almost black, and the seafood was just over buttered and rubbery as frick. like chewing on silly putty dipped in melted cat shite and butter. the salads, a disgrace. i dont think i had one piece of green lettuce on my entire plate. it was all the white hard lettuce under dressed, and of course it took a decade to get my extra side of dressing that was the only option in finishing even have of this salad a dying rabbit would turn down. oh by the way, we still havent gotten our extra cheddar bays. oh, and lol at the doosh in this thread who actually slipped his waiter ten extra fricking dollars for extra FREE biscuits at a frickin chain restaurant when the recipe is online and obv. could be made better at home instead of burnt to shite at a RL. what an idiot, cant believe you idiots actually do that stupid shite and brag about it. wow. on to the the entrees.






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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
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Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


quote:

we finally get our entrees, after being there over an hour, and i am shocked. i needed a magnifying glass to even be able to see these frickin tiny arse shrimp. i mean these frickin things are microscopic. we asked the waitress if they were always this small and she said "those are actually a bit bigger than what I normally see get served." are you fricking serious? oh, and lol at the guy here who posted that RL serve small shrimp cause they catch them when they are that small cause thats when they are the most flavorful. i cant...i just cant begin to explain what a culinary moron you are. ask any chef when...actually, forget it. just keep living in your bubble. whatever, just maybe the flavor might redeem this shite frickin experience, but no. I try the mango jalapeno first and almost gag. it was as if whatever fence jumper they had handling the food back there just took some canned jalepenos and dole fruit, chopped it up, squeezed a shitload of lime juice on it and poured it on top over some overcooked shrimp. i dont think anything i had that night was as bad as that dish. i would rather eat a mile of joy behar's shite than ever try that again. the scampi...kinda hard to frick up shrimp scampi right? right? not for RL. i tried to bite into the scampi shrimp, and it was so tough, it was like biting in to a petrified foreskin. i know they probably have a bunch of julios back there cooking and not chefs like a real restaurant, but holy shite my 2 year old niece knows not to overcook shrimp that much. the sauce, straight up melted butter with absolutely no garlic, seasonings, or any flavor to speak of whatsoever. not to mention i had to eat 5-6 shrimp at a time to even get half a mouthful. shrimp and sauces were just awful, even the fried shrimp came out burned and over battered. we all were able to stomach down about half of our shrimp dished before we gave up out of disgust and disappointment. the sides i tried were the rice pilaf and vegetable medley. frickin rice was so undercooked I almost cracked a tooth while biting in to one bite, which tasted like hot gravel. the vegetables in the medley were undercooked hard as fresh apples with no flavor or seasoning to speak of...oh, and they were ice cold. talk about a frickin poverty meal, this meal wasnt acceptable for a third world solitary prison inmate. The waitress asks if we want to wrap anything to take home. we all look at each other and laugh, and then look ate her like, "are u kidding me my bro?" just get this feces out of here. then she asks if we want dessert, and yet another "u kidding me?" look was given. just give us our check so we can leave this pit of culinary hell. as the table is being cleared, our biscuits finally show up. they gave us frickin 3. one a piece. they look ok, so i ask i we could get those to go plus extra since the first batch was burned and we waited till the end of the meal for the replacements. she said these were the last ones and the new batch wouldnt be ready for 10-15 minutes and we would have to wait even though no one was in the restaurant. frick that, just bring the bill. as we wait till next christmas for out fricking check, i see the manager and call him over. i asked why the shrimp were so small and where they got them from. he said he couldnt attest to the small size, but the majority of shrimp came from shrimp farms in asia. FARMS IN ASIA! fricking disgraceful. 30 dinky arse farm shrimp with no flavor in shite recipes...WHAT A DEAL! they are actually smart cause they get this cheap shitty shrimp and advertise the shite out of it so that idiots like the fluffers in this thread think they are getting the best seafood ever for so cheap! man you derelicts are frickin retarded to fall for this, but i guess i' m not suprised. we got the bill, paid, and got the frick out never to return. overall i give red lobster a -17/10 rating. the most horrible dining experience my friends and i have ever experienced, and we have been to some real shitholes before. everything from the service, to the slow kitchen turning out terrible food, to the idiocy of the management contributed to the shittyness of this establishment that is red lobster. later that night at home, i shite my brains out. my stomach can handle anything, and i mean anything. i have even eaten back of the fridge week old chinese seafood and was fine. this "fresh" seafoods quality wasnt worth my body even taking the time to deal with it, so i just shite it straight out. but yeah, RL is the best in the country! oh and as far as the #1's, frick you! why would someone who you just shite on in this thread take the time and effort to pose for pics at a fricking chain restaurant and post them on the internet for randoms who are just a-holes that I dont give two shits about? i mean i know you no life idiots do but...i mean...thats cause ur idiots. I wonder why all of you are so stupid to believe that RL is actually better than seafood restaurants in the NE, NYC, or anywhere. every major city has better seafood somewhere besides RL guaranteed. my only guess is that ur too young to have the experience and knowledge of great food, you all grew up in the south or shitty flyover states that only have chains and RL is the only seafood you know so you boast about it to shroud your culinary idiocy, or you are just flat out frickin morons, or it could be combinations of those three. either way u RL fluffers are complete suckholes. i will not be back to this abortion of a thread. I will be ignoring it. i have never ignored a thread/pt'er in my entire tenure here on PT, but i will for this thread because i refuse to subject myself to the river of moronic shite that flows through this thread. it took a while to get over that tragic RL experience, and the only reason taking the time to type all of this out is cause you all stuck with it so long and i felt sorry for u kids with nothing to do on PT all day just waiting patiently for the prowler's review. but please know you are all idiots and you need to die soon due to your poisoning of the human race through your idiocy and bad seafood. RL fluffers are a plague on humanity and must be stopped. i swear if i ever see any of you on lot i would have no problem shooting you directly in the mouths, and then lay down next to your leaking bodies to take a 2-3 hour nap and sleep like a baby. cause i would feel NOTHING after blasting out the back of your heads. thats what a waste of life you all are. call it social justice of darwinism. the weak and feeble minded with taste buds and pallets like that of a swine will not survive. this is the fate of the RL fluffers. THE BEST part is that all of you shit-sippers will still be here posting shite like "tldr, OP is and idiot, OP has no soul, sweet melt" and shite like that in total denial of the bubble you are all living in to try and get a rise out of me or something. go ahead and keep this thread so you can point out things i said that were so wrong and talk about how i will never know the RL greatness and just keep suckin each others dicks in here cause you dont know any better, nor do you have the capacity to understand real seafood cuisine that is served in cities like NYC. just know i will not be reading any of it cause i could give a frick these what you random morons have to think, and i leave you now to wallow in your own stupidity, and then to die asap. you RL fluffers are all retarded, and your restaurant fricking sucks. week old long johns silvers > RL highlight of the night: the hostess dropped a pen and bent over to pick it up right in front of me on my way out and i got a nice long glimpse at that masterpiece of an ass. still couldnt do anything to redeem the most horrible evening of my life.






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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
L.A.
Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


I realize this thread is about outside sales, maybe I can offer some insight.

I am in outside sales, which is currently salary+commission, but will move into straight commission starting at the beginning of July 2010. I have been in this position since July 2009. I have competition from several direct manufacturing sales reps, large distributors, and local distributors. Here are the advantages and disadvantages of each:

Direct Advantages: Immediate knowledge of new technology, no middle man mark up, one shipping bill (paid by manufacturer or buyer of goods), access to larger range of non-commodity items, control inventory, have access to many distributors that can effectively sell their goods which increases market share, and set prices of commodity they manufacture.

Direct disadvantages: Typically have 1-3 sales reps per region (i.e. southeast, mid-atlantic, northeast, etc.) limiting the number of accounts they can successfully manage/cold-call, lack physical customer service or physical technical service available to or affordable for smaller users or altogether, are sometimes not trustworthy because they will go in behind their distributors that sell their commodity to one account in large quantities (i.e. they missed a big account, and have found out about it through a distributor selling their particular product) which leads to the distributor not selling their product anymore, have too many distributors selling the product ultimately driving the set price down through deviations, possibly rely on distributors to actually sell the product, and competition from other direct sources.

Large distributor advantages: have access to other commodities that go hand in hand with other manufacturers (poor example- grocery stores sell milk as well as cereal), get direct pricing, many locations regionally or nationally easing the shipping burden of buyers with multiple locations, personal service either customer or technical, many sales reps that are able to cover a broader territory, access to multiple manufacturers of the same commodity allowing to keep prices in check, service programs that smaller companies can't offer and direct providers can't match in price or value, and experts of many many commodities as opposed to one or a few.

Large distributor disadvantages: smaller local distributors creating price wars (think Michael Scott Paper Co vs Dunder-Mifflin), direct mfg's going in behind and stealing business, limited access to all of the mfg's (you won't find Harris Teeter name brands in Food Lion and visa versa), can't truly set prices because it's based on both supply and demand, territory management, and tough growth prospects in slower economies (this is true for direct as well really)

Local distributor advantages: Typically a good ol' boy setting where the seller and the buyer know each other for years (this does happen at all levels, but mostly at the local level), local folks are right down the street and can be used in emergencies, if the local guy buys at high enough volumes then there is no shipping charge to the end user, and access to both direct mfg's and large distributors.

Local distributor disadvantages: easily beaten in price, array of commodities, array of technology, lack of trained staff, low cash flow, etc etc etc.

This is what I have noticed in my six months, I am sure there are plenty more that need mentioning. The way I am setting myself apart as a sales person is this: I go after the big accounts right now while I am new. The big accounts, if I land them, will take care of me while I am new and building a customer base. The money made off of those allows me to focus free time on smaller accounts that get me higher margins. I build up big accounts, I would like to have 5-10 of these, then get 20-30 medium accounts. If I lose 1 or 2 big accounts, the 20-30 medium accounts keep me afloat while I go after new big accounts. I don't really waste time on small accounts simply because they basically pay for breakfast or something really small.

I will say this, if you can't get a big account in the first 6-8 months (assuming you have cash flow that you can ride this long) you could be in a world of trouble. If you can get one, it will really make going after the others a lot more enjoyable and less stressful. It's simply just very exhausting wasting any time on anything other than big accounts in the very beginning. You work just as hard on the medium sized accounts and see 1/3 to 1/36 of the money in my situation.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. I hope this helps in the slightest!






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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
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Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


quote:

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to frick her. So be it. I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari’s have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya. Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I’m holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I’m fricking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says “harder.” V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn’t disagree with them. I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.






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Marc Brownstein
Penn Fan
Camp Bisco
Member since May 2014
82 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


I'm an Aplha male
And girls want to frick alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fricking touch her beyond that?
Yeah, I'm fricking her.
The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly aks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?
Yeah, I'm fricking her too, even harder.
The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?
Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my arse off at you you pathetic frick. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to frick 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.
And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and dissapear, and all that emo bullshite? You're triggering her "Don't frick" instinct something feirce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to frick her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.

And she's cheating on you, I promise that. When she sits around quiet and uncomfortable, acting irritable and irrational towards you, wanting you to just back away and leave her alone, it's not her period. It's because I haven't called her for a day or two and her instincts are telling her to go find me. The primitive section of her brain doesn't want to risk smelling like another man when she gives herself to me, she wants me to know she's completely mine. We do things together she tells you she never would. Her pooper? Mine. I want to give her a facial? of course. I want her to suck the cum out of my dick, even though I just finished pumping away at her ass? she's never going to tell me no. She doesn't WNAT to tell me no. She wants me to know she'll do anything it takes to keep me. She'll rim my arse while she's down there sucking me off if it means pleasing me. She'll drink my cum from a shotglass. She'll wear a buttplug when we go out to dinner. She'll sleep handcuffed to my headboard. Anything.
And then she'll go home to you and tell you she's not in the mood today.
I'd say you should become an hero, but you being aruond makes her want a real man all the more, so keep fagging it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner.






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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
L.A.
Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


quote:

I told him, We're just going to smoke a couple of rocks; then I'm going to sell the rest to a crackhead I know. It didn't work out that way, of course. We ended up smoking the whole thing, and then we went to Jazz Fest the next day.






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Marc Brownstein
Penn Fan
Camp Bisco
Member since May 2014
82 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I'D BEEN HEARING ALOT LATELY ABOUT THE MERITS OF THIS CHUCK NORRIS FELLOW, SO I THOUGHT I'D PAY HIM A VISIT- ZIMMER STYLE. AS I APPROACHED HIS HOUSE, I HEARD A TWIG SNAP BEHIND ME AND THEN OUT OF NOWHERE CAME THE LEG OF THE ONE AND ONLY CHUCK NORRIS. LUCKILY MY REFLEXES WERE TOO FAST FOR HIM. MY MASSIVE MASCULINE MEAT-PIPE BURST FORTH FROM MY FINELY-TAILORED TROUSERS, ENSNARING HIS LEG WITH THE POWER OF A THOUSAND ANACONDAS. HIS ONCE POWERFUL INSTRUMENT OF DEATH THUSLY DESTROYED, HE WAS COMPLETELY POWERLESS. I DECIDED THAT THAT UGLY MUG OF HIS WAS NOT UP TO ZIMMER STANDARDS, SO I DETERMINED TO DELIVER A MAKEOVER HE WOULDN'T SOON FORGET. HE BEGAN TO CRY LIKE A KITTEN UNDER A STEAMROLLER AS MY PULSATING PELVIC PILEDRIVER DELIVERED BLOW AFTER BLOW TO HIS EVER-SOFTENING SKULL. AS I FINISHED OFF MY FLESH-SCULPTURE, I REALIZED THAT I HAD FORMED HIS HEAD INTO THE SHAPE OF DEVIL'S TOWER. THE SHOCK CAUSED ME TO LET FORTH A FLOOD OF CAUSTIC COD CREME THAT BURNED OFF THAT RIDICULOUS STUBBLE HE CALLS A BEARD. HE'S UNCONCIOUS NOW, BUT HE'LL SOON WAKE UP. HE'S GONNA LIKE THE WAY HE LOOKS. I GUARANTEE IT.







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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
L.A.
Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


bump





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Andre
Arizona Fan
Marigny
Member since Apr 2009
3183 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


Has that "little girl" look that some men really dig. Kinda like you're fricking a teenager before daddy comes home from work. You pull out because she doesn't even know what birth control is yet and end up jizzing all over her math homework. Then while you're cleaning it up you stumble upon a love letter written to her by Justin in homeroom and fly into a rage because if she's keeping something like that then there must be something going on, or maybe she secretly wants there to be. So you smack her around and then go home to the wife and kids and pretend like nothing happened. At 3am you sneak down into the kitchen to have your nightly glass of whiskey as you cry and wish you had the balls to finally kill yourself.





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danman6336
Duke Fan
Member since Jan 2005
17605 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


quote:

The disco biscuits are very juvenile. Their music is all surface, and no substance. They use alot of "pretty" sounds, and employ some clever gimmicks that work well on a superficial level. Especially if you are on drugs. The fast tempo, strobing lights, and synth sounds really get those tweaked out receptors firing.

But beneath all of that; it's soul-less. Empty. You just keep that bass drum thumping on all four beats, keep the tempo around 125-130, repeat a very simplistic five note riff ad-naseum, and then speed up and get loud when you want it to "peak."

All of the poor souls who think they are hearing something interesting talk about how great they are at the segue ... refusing to admit how ridiculously similar all of their songs are. It's not much of a segue if you stay at the exact same tempo (and often times the same key) while switching to another song that has no words, and is the same style and feel as the last song you just "segued" out of.

No one in the band really has much talent as a musician - and the stuff they play doesn't require them to. They stick to a very cliché formula. Their original compositions are laughable. The last time I was forced to listen to some "nasty new bisco," somebody put on "MEMPHIS" and I was just shocked at how stupid it was: structurally, lyrically, and vocally - so childish and boring on all fronts. And this isn't even one of their "untz" songs. The "jam" tagged on to the end of it was one chord, the entire time. And this isn't even one of their "untz" songs.

About ten minutes in, the bisco fans in the room got very excited when the jam "took off".

In reality, all that happened was the keyboard player switched from piano to a synth sound, the guitar player started doubling the bass-line, and the drummer gradually sped up. Eventually the keyboard player switched to the "bird-noises" patch, and this really sent everyone into an uproar.

Eventually the "jam" reached full UNTZ mode, and became the standard biscuits jam. But nothing interesting ever happened ... and nothing ever does.







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Andre
Arizona Fan
Marigny
Member since Apr 2009
3183 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


Back to the point at hand, needless to say when you quit materbating it really is all you can think about. I admit, I have to cheat a little. I don't look at porn anymore but sometimes when the urge gets to be too much I play with it right until the point I am about to blow and then just stop. I only let myself get to the point where it starts to tingle...I have excellent self control and have not ever accidentally blown a load.

The one drawback is I have been waking up at 5 or 5:30 every morning with a massive boner. This is really weird for me because I usually sleep until 10 or 11. The problem is I can't go back to sleep when I have a boner. I have developed a little trick to help with this. I sleep naked so I roll over on my stomach and posistion my dick so it is pointing up to my belly button. I then push my toes up and down which makes the head of my penis run against the sheets. You would be amazed at how quickly you can cum just by doing this and usually after that happens my wood goes down and I am able to sleep. I know some will call this cheating but I have two counterpoints. 1) I am like half asleep when this happens so it is basically like a wet dream and 2) I use no part of my hand so techinally it is not masterbating.

Ok, so on to the results. I will say they have been subtle. I was at Banana Republic and I handed this very hot worker there back a shirt. I know this seems minor but when she took it from me she definetly rubbed my hand real sexy. I have also noticed other girls complementing me more and making eye contact. I am only on my 5th full day of the 30 days and from what I understand the girls just get crazier and by day 30 you basically have to fight them off. I can't wait!






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Burt Reynolds
Florida State Fan
L.A.
Member since Jul 2008
19442 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


I love that one. I sent it to andre once and he was in meltdown mode for days





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CaptainPanic
South Alabama Fan
18.44311,-64.764021
Member since Sep 2011
16904 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread








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Melvin
New Orleans Saints Fan
Covington
Member since Apr 2011
13329 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


quote:

Back to the point at hand, needless to say when you quit materbating it really is all you can think about. I admit, I have to cheat a little. I don't look at porn anymore but sometimes when the urge gets to be too much I play with it right until the point I am about to blow and then just stop. I only let myself get to the point where it starts to tingle...I have excellent self control and have not ever accidentally blown a load. The one drawback is I have been waking up at 5 or 5:30 every morning with a massive boner. This is really weird for me because I usually sleep until 10 or 11. The problem is I can't go back to sleep when I have a boner. I have developed a little trick to help with this. I sleep naked so I roll over on my stomach and posistion my dick so it is pointing up to my belly button. I then push my toes up and down which makes the head of my penis run against the sheets. You would be amazed at how quickly you can cum just by doing this and usually after that happens my wood goes down and I am able to sleep. I know some will call this cheating but I have two counterpoints. 1) I am like half asleep when this happens so it is basically like a wet dream and 2) I use no part of my hand so techinally it is not masterbating. Ok, so on to the results. I will say they have been subtle. I was at Banana Republic and I handed this very hot worker there back a shirt. I know this seems minor but when she took it from me she definetly rubbed my hand real sexy. I have also noticed other girls complementing me more and making eye contact. I am only on my 5th full day of the 30 days and from what I understand the girls just get crazier and by day 30 you basically have to fight them off. I can't wait!






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danman6336
Duke Fan
Member since Jan 2005
17605 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


quote:

Yeah, I remember the first time I saw Trey at a bar. It was a pinnacle moment of my life.
I'll never forget walking up to those flowing red locks, sitting down next to him and ordering a Mai Thai. He gave me a glance from the side and gave me a nod and a smirk. The kind of nod and smirk that says, "that's my kind of man."

My drink was only half-slid across the bar counter before Trey started to pipe up with his opiate-crackled robust voice. "You come here often?"
I took a single sip of my Mai Thai. "You must be a libra", I retorted, with masculinity.
That's when we got to talking. We laughed, we cried. I told him of the day my dog died; he told me of the day he got his first DUI.

It must have been 4 or 5 Mai Thais before I first decided to pop the big question.
"So", I recited, between drags of my cigarette, "How about Alaska > Wading tonight?"
Trey busted out a sly chuckle, and the rest was history.







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Spaulding Smails
Clemson Fan
NHL rulez, NFL Sux
Member since Jun 2012
14207 posts

re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread


It makes me smile that this thread is back





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