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Started By
Message
Outdoor Related Joke Thread
Posted on 1/16/14 at 6:23 pm
Posted on 1/16/14 at 6:23 pm
A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his 1911 Colt .45 with an
8 round magazine and yelled, "Who in here has been screwing my wife?"
A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You need more ammo."
8 round magazine and yelled, "Who in here has been screwing my wife?"
A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You need more ammo."
5
Posted on 1/16/14 at 6:25 pm to Geauxtiga
lol
Posted on 1/16/14 at 6:29 pm to SportTiger1
Three construction workers (Boudreaux, Thibodaux, and Pierre ) were sitting on a steel beam at the top of a skyscraper they were building. It was lunchtime. Boudreux opens his lunch box and sees that he has jambalaya.
"Son of a bitch", he says, "jambalaya again. Everyday it's jambalaya. I swear if I get jambalaya again tomorrow I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this building".
Thibadaux worker opens up his lunch box and sees a hot link. "Damnit", he says, "another damn hot link, I'm so tired of hot links, If I have to eat a hot link again tomorrow I'm going to jump off of this building and commit suicide".
Pierre opens his lunch box and sees a bologna sandwich. "shite!!!, another damn bologna sandwich. If I get another bologna sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to commit suicide".
The next day during lunch hour, they are sitting on the same steel beam. Boudreaux opens his lunch box and finds jambalaya. Without saying a word he closes the box and throws himself off of the beam and drops twenty floors to his death. Thibodaux opens his box, finds a hot link, closes the box and jumps to his death. Pierre opens his box and finds a bologna sandwich, closes the box and jumps to his death.
A couple of days later the families of all three workers meet at the cemetery just after the funerals. Boudreaux's wife was crying.
"Oh, if only I had known how he felt about the jambalaya, I could have fixed him some fried chicken, and he would still be here today.
Thibodaux's wife said "I could have fixed my husband a shrimp poboy, and he would be here with me today".
There was a moment of silence while everybody was waiting for Pierre's wife to comment.
"Don't look at me", she said, "He fixes his own lunch".
"Son of a bitch", he says, "jambalaya again. Everyday it's jambalaya. I swear if I get jambalaya again tomorrow I'm going to commit suicide by jumping off this building".
Thibadaux worker opens up his lunch box and sees a hot link. "Damnit", he says, "another damn hot link, I'm so tired of hot links, If I have to eat a hot link again tomorrow I'm going to jump off of this building and commit suicide".
Pierre opens his lunch box and sees a bologna sandwich. "shite!!!, another damn bologna sandwich. If I get another bologna sandwich tomorrow, I'm going to commit suicide".
The next day during lunch hour, they are sitting on the same steel beam. Boudreaux opens his lunch box and finds jambalaya. Without saying a word he closes the box and throws himself off of the beam and drops twenty floors to his death. Thibodaux opens his box, finds a hot link, closes the box and jumps to his death. Pierre opens his box and finds a bologna sandwich, closes the box and jumps to his death.
A couple of days later the families of all three workers meet at the cemetery just after the funerals. Boudreaux's wife was crying.
"Oh, if only I had known how he felt about the jambalaya, I could have fixed him some fried chicken, and he would still be here today.
Thibodaux's wife said "I could have fixed my husband a shrimp poboy, and he would be here with me today".
There was a moment of silence while everybody was waiting for Pierre's wife to comment.
"Don't look at me", she said, "He fixes his own lunch".
Posted on 1/16/14 at 6:35 pm to Geauxtiga
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought
him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep.The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this black eye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe."
him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep.The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this black eye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe."
Posted on 1/16/14 at 6:36 pm to Tino
Posted on 1/16/14 at 6:36 pm to Tino
Posted on 1/16/14 at 7:15 pm to Geauxtiga
Guy with great bird dog took his buddy hunting. Told him not only will dog point when near birds, he will tell you how many birds. Buddy called bs . Dog pointed then pawed 3 times and 3 quail flew up. Buddy said he probably paws 3 every time and just got lucky. Next time pointed pawed 5 times and 5 quail flew up. Budddy said I will pay you 10k for that dog. Guy said for that price he's yours. Next time saw buddy asked how dog was doing.. Buddy said dog had seizure and lost his mind so put him out of his misery. Guy asked what happened and buddy said while hunting dog bit a stick and wouldn't stop shaking his head violently while humping a tree. Guy said you stupid SOB he was telling you there were more fuc.ing birds than you could shake a stick at.
Posted on 1/16/14 at 7:35 pm to JSM
Posted on 1/17/14 at 1:26 pm to Geauxtiga
Thibodaux saw Boudreaux putting duct tape in his flat boat and asked him what he was doing. Boudreaux replied, "I'm going duck huntin." Thibodaux said, "Man you can't kill no ducks using duct tape!" Thibodeaux said, "Yeah man, I lay the duct tape on da water and when da ducks land, their feet stick to da tape and I bop 'em on da head and trow 'em in da boat." Thibodaux said, "Man, you crazy." Later that day Boudreaux pulls up with a boat full of ducks and Thibodaux just scratched his head in amazement.
The next day Boudreaux is putting Nutria Sweet in his flat boat and Thibodaux asks him, "Boudreaux, what are you doing wit all dat Nutria Sweet?" Boudreaux replied, "I'm goin Nutria huntin." Thibodaux said, "Man, you can't kill no nutria wit Nutria Sweet." Boudreaux said, "Yeah man, I sprinkle the Nutria Sweet on da water and when da nutria come up to eat it I bop 'em on da head and trow 'em da boat." Thibodaux said, "Man, you crazy." Later that day Boudreaux pulls up with a boat full of nutria and Thibodaux just scratched his head in amazement.
The following day Thibodaux sees Boudreaux putting pussy willow in his boat and Thibodaux said, "Hold on Boudreaux! Let me go get my hat; I'm comin wit ya!"
The next day Boudreaux is putting Nutria Sweet in his flat boat and Thibodaux asks him, "Boudreaux, what are you doing wit all dat Nutria Sweet?" Boudreaux replied, "I'm goin Nutria huntin." Thibodaux said, "Man, you can't kill no nutria wit Nutria Sweet." Boudreaux said, "Yeah man, I sprinkle the Nutria Sweet on da water and when da nutria come up to eat it I bop 'em on da head and trow 'em da boat." Thibodaux said, "Man, you crazy." Later that day Boudreaux pulls up with a boat full of nutria and Thibodaux just scratched his head in amazement.
The following day Thibodaux sees Boudreaux putting pussy willow in his boat and Thibodaux said, "Hold on Boudreaux! Let me go get my hat; I'm comin wit ya!"
Posted on 1/17/14 at 1:31 pm to JSM
Ok that is funny
Posted on 1/17/14 at 1:40 pm to Anton7
honestly i coming to post this joke love it
Posted on 1/17/14 at 1:43 pm to all_over_it
I heard that joke on Walton and Johnson about twenty some odd years ago when they were still in NOLA. Classic
Posted on 1/17/14 at 1:45 pm to all_over_it
I saved you some typing
Posted on 1/17/14 at 1:48 pm to Anton7
thanks i preciate it
Posted on 1/17/14 at 1:53 pm to Geauxtiga
Boudreaux pulls up to the launch and the game warden asks "what you got today Boudreuax?" Boudreaux says " no ducks, but I got dis brown pelican". GW says "Boudreaux, you know you can't kill dat. I'll let you go with a warning but don't do it again. Next day, Boudreaux pulls up and GW asks what he's got. "Boudreaux says well no ducks today, but I got me another pelican". GW says "Boudreaux! I told you not to shoot dat. I'll let you go one more time, but next time I have to take you in". Boudreaux says "I'm sorry they just taste so good". The next day, Boudreax pulls up and has another pelican. GW says "Alright Boudreaux, I got no choice, I gotta bring you in. But since you said they taste so good and you keep killing them, you gotta tell me what they taste like."
Boudreaux replied "Bald Eagle"
Boudreaux replied "Bald Eagle"
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