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Message
Midseason NFC South Report Card
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:01 am
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:01 am
entertaining review
The dirty birds write up is classic...
Falcons: D+
There was recently a story about places on Earth that people used to think were entrances to Hell and I was honestly shocked that the Georgia Dome wasn’t one of them. Before last week’s loss to Arizona, Atlanta’s games had all been one-score games which says “maybe not that bad” but five losses in seven games say otherwise. Despite the money spent on free agents, there’s no running game, two of their best receivers are hurt, the defense is as impotent as a Braves crowd, and Matt Ryan has been positively Chris Miller-esque (a passer rating below 50 against the Cardinals). Plus, the Falcons have the Saints (again), Panthers (twice), Seahawks, 49ers, and Packers left on the schedule so 4-12 is possible which is hilarious for a team predicted to finish near the top of the league. Good. Atlanta sports fan deserve it. Enjoy playing in the Sphincter Dome, guys.
Final prediction: Does an NFL team fail if no fans are around to watch them?
Saints: A-
Panthers: C+
Buccaneers: F- with only this gif for Tampa Bay...
The dirty birds write up is classic...
Falcons: D+
There was recently a story about places on Earth that people used to think were entrances to Hell and I was honestly shocked that the Georgia Dome wasn’t one of them. Before last week’s loss to Arizona, Atlanta’s games had all been one-score games which says “maybe not that bad” but five losses in seven games say otherwise. Despite the money spent on free agents, there’s no running game, two of their best receivers are hurt, the defense is as impotent as a Braves crowd, and Matt Ryan has been positively Chris Miller-esque (a passer rating below 50 against the Cardinals). Plus, the Falcons have the Saints (again), Panthers (twice), Seahawks, 49ers, and Packers left on the schedule so 4-12 is possible which is hilarious for a team predicted to finish near the top of the league. Good. Atlanta sports fan deserve it. Enjoy playing in the Sphincter Dome, guys.
Final prediction: Does an NFL team fail if no fans are around to watch them?
Saints: A-
Panthers: C+
Buccaneers: F- with only this gif for Tampa Bay...
This post was edited on 10/31/13 at 9:21 am
8
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:04 am to blueslover
How about adding the Saints grade in the OP...
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:06 am to blueslover
The Tampa review is very apropo
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:10 am to blueslover
For some reason, I can't read the bucs part on my phone.
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:11 am to blueslover
quote:
Ah, the NFC South, that rollicking, ramshackle drunk uncle of a division, careening towards a cliff or maybe a Super Bowl. Who knows? Filled with gamblers, ramblers, pirates, and staph infections, the division whips out a different scenario every year like a drunk Duck Dynasty fan playing Russian Roulette.
Read more: LINK
Pretty accurate
This post was edited on 10/31/13 at 9:11 am
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:12 am to blueslover
Saints:
quote:
Saints: A-
Last season was tough but Saints fan had conspiracy theories about The Rog to keep them busy. Now, head coach Sean Payton is back and his bromance with Drew Brees continues anew and the team continues to churn out offensive weapons like Kenny Stills while Oscar Bluth’s defense is… actually getting good. And Kenny Vicaro is proving himself to be mighty fine on defense. Of course, an easy schedule helps; their toughest game was that crotch-punch road loss to New England. Looming in the second half are Dallas, San Francisco, and Seattle so it’s going to take some poisoned gumbo to keep their current pace up. Still, the Superdome was built on an ancient burial ground and New Orleanians are resourceful people, like MacGuyver with booze, and Brees and Payton are their own and they will not hesitate to cut you or turn the lights off. Don’t mess with cajuns, man.
Final prediction: NFC title game by the power of Marie Laveau.
Read more: LINK
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:16 am to Brettesaurus Rex
quote:
Ah, the NFC South, that rollicking, ramshackle drunk uncle of a division, careening towards a cliff or maybe a Super Bowl. Who knows? Filled with gamblers, ramblers, pirates, and staph infections, the division whips out a different scenario every year like a drunk Duck Dynasty fan playing Russian Roulette.
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:17 am to blueslover
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:19 am to Hoodoo Man
quote:
For some reason, I can't read the bucs part on my phone.
Its the gif of the monkey sticking his finger in his arse, smelling it, and falling off the tree.
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:22 am to elprez00
put it in the OP if that helps
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:25 am to elprez00
I figured there'd be words.
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:26 am to Hoodoo Man
one gif= 10,000 words
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:29 am to blueslover
What the frick is a minus sign doing next to our A??
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:31 am to blueslover
quote:
Falcons: D+
Too high
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:35 am to Melvin
quote:I think it's fair.
What the frick is a minus sign doing next to our A??
It's true that the teams we've beaten haven't been so great.
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:56 am to Hoodoo Man
Posted on 10/31/13 at 9:57 am to Hoodoo Man
quote:
It's true that the teams we've beaten haven't been so great.
There's a difference between barely beating a shite team and pounding a shite team. The Saints have pounded shite teams with the exception of the Buccs and Falcons - who are both division rivals and no matter the records, those games seem to always be close.
Posted on 10/31/13 at 10:04 am to Brees from Grayskull
That's fine.
But I'll feel better when we beat a good team.
Which probably won't happen until SF.
But I'll feel better when we beat a good team.
Which probably won't happen until SF.
Posted on 10/31/13 at 10:06 am to Hoodoo Man
The Jets D is pretty legit. I'll be very optimistic if our offense can get it done against them.
Posted on 10/31/13 at 10:10 am to Melvin
quote:
The Jets D is pretty legit. I'll be very optimistic if our offense can get it done against them.
Rush D has been stout
Pass D has been fairly avg
Points given up is high for some reason
I don't think they are a healthy club right now.
If we keep it out the bucket, we should frick it.
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