"Dumbest Reviews of Classic Movies"

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RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK "Spielberg's technique may be too much for the genre: the opening sequence, set in South America, with Indy Jones entering a forbidden temple and fending off traps, snares, poisoned darts, tarantulas, stone doors with metal teeth, and the biggest damn boulder you've ever seen, is so thrill-packed you don't have time to breathe or to enjoy yourself much, either." - Pauline Kael, The New Yorker June 15, 1981

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I think he picked the wrong scene to hate on. Him digging into the tomb in broad daylight in front of his enemies might have been a better choice, if your going to nitpic the film.

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THE GODFATHER PART II "The only remarkable thing about Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather, Part II is the insistent manner in which it recalls how much better his original film was. Even if Part II were a lot more cohesive, revealing and exciting than it is, it probably would have run the risk of appearing to be the self-parody it now seems...Its insights are fairly lame at this point."- Vincent Canby, New York Times, December 13, 1974

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An epic case case of a critic trying to sound lot smarter than he actually is. That is one of the things that drives me crazy about a lot of critics, they try and reinvent literature with every review. He is complaining about the film being cohesive, he needs to look at his review.

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THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK "Confession: When I went to see The Empire Strikes Back I found myself glancing at my watch. The Force is with us, indeed, and a lot of it is hot air. It's a measure of my mixed feelings about The Empire Strikes Back that I'm not at all sure that I understand the plot.The Empire Strikes Back is about as personal as a Christmas card from a bank."- Vincent Canby, New York Times, June 15, 1980

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Ok. He didnt like the movie, I have no problm ith that, not everyone on the planet does. Atleast he's honest.

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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY "...a title that might serve as the film's own capsule review."Director Leone doesn't seem to care very much, and after 161 minutes of mayhem, audiences aren't likely to either."The real man in the money these days, however, is Clinton Eastwood Jr., son of a California business executive, who went into television after an unsuccessful try at breaking into movies. Although his acting--so far--has been consistently awful... Hollywood studios seem to have decided that he is just right to play the kind of strong, silent, outdoor roles that once went to Gary Cooper."- Time Magazine, February 9, 1968

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Now this is just stupid.

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And that Clinton Eastwood Jr...he'll never amount to much

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Fistfull of Dollars and For a Few Dollars More had already been released They might not have been as big as they are now, but he was probably a decently known actor.
AND he cracked on Leone. He followed that "bust" up with Once Upon a Time in the West.

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THE GODFATHER PART II "The only remarkable thing about Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather, Part II is the insistent manner in which it recalls how much better his original film was. Even if Part II were a lot more cohesive, revealing and exciting than it is, it probably would have run the risk of appearing to be the self-parody it now seems...Its insights are fairly lame at this point."- Vincent Canby, New York Times, December 13, 1974

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If he hadn't already died, Pulp Fiction would have fricking killed this assclown.

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"Dumbest Reviews of Classic Movies"

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One of my favorite things to do is to go on Amazon and read the 1 star reviews of movies, albums, and books that I think are genius.

Here's a random one of Revolver by The Beatles:

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Music has a dreary quality, kind of depressing. A few good songs, but I'd say go with an album with more hits on it. These are rejects. Later beatles suck, with some exceptsions. Sgt pepper was great, but they kept going too far to try to be different and in later years the music was sick, more like they were wanna bees trying to be differerent, instead of sgt pepper where they achieved it naturally. Didn't care for this one, but love most early stuff.

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Reject tracks? You gotsta be kiddin me

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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY "...a title that might serve as the film's own capsule review."Director Leone doesn't seem to care very much, and after 161 minutes of mayhem, audiences aren't likely to either."The real man in the money these days, however, is Clinton Eastwood Jr., son of a California business executive, who went into television after an unsuccessful try at breaking into movies. Although his acting--so far--has been consistently awful... Hollywood studios seem to have decided that he is just right to play the kind of strong, silent, outdoor roles that once went to Gary Cooper."- Time Magazine, February 9, 1968

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THE SHINING "If you go to this adaptation of Stephen King's novel expecting to see a horror movie, you'll be disappointed. "...the setting is promising enough - an empty, isolated hotel in dead-of-winter Colorado - but Kubrick makes it warm, well-lit and devoid of threat."- Time Out London Film Guide, 1980

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That's just bizarre.

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THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK "Confession: When I went to see The Empire Strikes Back I found myself glancing at my watch. The Force is with us, indeed, and a lot of it is hot air. It's a measure of my mixed feelings about The Empire Strikes Back that I'm not at all sure that I understand the plot.The Empire Strikes Back is about as personal as a Christmas card from a bank."- Vincent Canby, New York Times, June 15, 1980

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That's pretty bad. He was too incompetent to understand the genre, much less the plot itself.

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I don't disagree with this.

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I stretched to see his point in that 3/4ths of the movie is more of a psychological thriller, but it certainly has horror elements (elevator full of blood, corpse in the tub, that horrifically naked old lady, the last 15 minute chase sequence). But to say "but Kubrick makes it warm, well-lit and devoid of threat," is just silly.

A lot of one-star reviews on Amazon are idiots complaining that they ordered the wrong thing and therefore the product deserves a poor rating.

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"The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck:

Though I've read many bad books, none can compare with this trite, contrived piece of work. Every line, every word, is deliberate and pretentious--Steinbeck is pounding it into our collective consciences at every step that this is a great work of art. People have called this book propaganda, but that doesn't even begin to cover it. Nowhere else will you find such schmaltzy dialogue, or such a laborious, falsely deep message. But I recommend everyone read this book, just to get a taste of what absolute tripe millions of people are capable of swallowing.

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This is the only one that didnt seem to be a troll.
Side note: You can rate the Bible? Did not know that.