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Posted on 4/15/24 at 8:41 pm to East Coast Band
I’ve thought about this before - personally I’d probably keep it pretty evenly split. No way to make things perfect, so it may skew to the kid who doesn’t have as much but would try to keep it close. This all assumes that we have good relations with both kids and they’re both in there own, established and check in us ha. If one is a bum and has consistently mooched there while life than I’d probably give it to the kid who didn’t do that.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 8:46 pm to East Coast Band
I sure hope my parents do !
Posted on 4/15/24 at 8:46 pm to TheJunction
quote:
I’ve thought about this before - personally I’d probably keep it pretty evenly split. No way to make things perfect, so it may skew to the kid who doesn’t have as much but would try to keep it close.
Yeah, like in my scenario, my wife and I aren't poor and do fine. We just just aren't nearly as wealthy as my siblings. It's not like we'd be struggling without any inheritance, we just don't take family vacations to New Zealand or buy our kids Porsches very regularly, or ever
Posted on 4/15/24 at 8:53 pm to meansonny
quote:
Go with equal distributions. There are lots of things that families can resent one another for. Why would a parent want to be a cause?
I can see it both ways. It really depends I would say.
If one kid becomes a multi millionaire (thinking $100M+) vs another that lives an upper middle class life. And you have a few hundred thousand plus your house in your name.
Maybe talk it over with my kids, but like another poster said I hope I raise my children right that they would both want what is best for each other.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 8:53 pm to East Coast Band
Terrible idea. Sounds like a great way to cause major family fighting after your death
Posted on 4/15/24 at 8:55 pm to Pintail
I think with significant outliers it would make sense. Like if the estate is worth $1M and one of the kids is worth $15M. I'd talk to them about it though.
This post was edited on 4/15/24 at 8:55 pm
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:15 pm to East Coast Band
Talk it out with the kids and talk yo the one that stands to get less first. If they are reasonably well adjusted, it should be fine.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:26 pm to East Coast Band
quote:
Would you alter your will if one child became wealthier?
Absolutely not
All kids get an even share, or cut out completely if they are undeserving
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:31 pm to East Coast Band
My goal in life is the have the last check i ever write bounce.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:35 pm to TBoy
quote:
My goal in life is the have the last check i ever write bounce.
Good night dad.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:41 pm to Pintail
quote:
I can see it both ways. It really depends I would say.
If one kid becomes a multi millionaire (thinking $100M+) vs another that lives an upper middle class life. And you have a few hundred thousand plus your house in your name.
Maybe talk it over with my kids, but like another poster said I hope I raise my children right that they would both want what is best for each other.
The honest to God truth is that kids should expect nothing from their parents.
The sacrifices that my parents made in bringing me life and raising me makes me in debt to them. The opposite of looking to them for handouts when they pass.
That would allow me to not get upset if a family member got something that I didn't. My wife is an only child and I don't think her mind works that way. She thinks I get taken advantage of.
My advice was under the belief that most people are like her. Fair is fair. And anything else is a fracture that needn't exist.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:43 pm to Bistineaubengal
quote:
Good night dad.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:47 pm to East Coast Band
This is messy. If one kid has FU money and the other average money, I might have a talk with them about this and make sure the one of less means has some bases covered long term. On the other hand, if one is a bum for some reason or profligate spender, probably not.
I'm watching a friend go through this. He is buying his FIL's farm at a serious discount (still not cheap!) becuase he has the cash to do so and it keeps the farm in the family, while the other child is a bit of a bum. The bum resents my friend but the father knows it keeps the farm in the family and puts some money in his pocket to live a good late 80's.
My dad and his sister split things evenly with the exception that my sister got their parents' house. She is a bit of a bum and so is her ex. I undestand the reasoning that grandma wanted to make sure my bum aunt had a roof, but I disagree with it. Grandma could've bought my bum of an aunt a 1br duplex but gave her a nice place that she was promptly going ot sell. Turns out she started sleeping with a lonely widowed millionaire (true story) and married him. She still got the house and is on double easy street. My dad was never hard up, he did quite alright, but he shouldve gotten half the house. Shiddy outcome.
ONe more piece: we live in the richest nation in the world and our lower middle class is pretty darn well off by many countries standards. Be thankful we all have what we have. It would suck to live in even the EU as lower middle class. You'd have a hatchback and a 1200sqft apartment unless you make big bucks.
I'm watching a friend go through this. He is buying his FIL's farm at a serious discount (still not cheap!) becuase he has the cash to do so and it keeps the farm in the family, while the other child is a bit of a bum. The bum resents my friend but the father knows it keeps the farm in the family and puts some money in his pocket to live a good late 80's.
My dad and his sister split things evenly with the exception that my sister got their parents' house. She is a bit of a bum and so is her ex. I undestand the reasoning that grandma wanted to make sure my bum aunt had a roof, but I disagree with it. Grandma could've bought my bum of an aunt a 1br duplex but gave her a nice place that she was promptly going ot sell. Turns out she started sleeping with a lonely widowed millionaire (true story) and married him. She still got the house and is on double easy street. My dad was never hard up, he did quite alright, but he shouldve gotten half the house. Shiddy outcome.
ONe more piece: we live in the richest nation in the world and our lower middle class is pretty darn well off by many countries standards. Be thankful we all have what we have. It would suck to live in even the EU as lower middle class. You'd have a hatchback and a 1200sqft apartment unless you make big bucks.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:48 pm to East Coast Band
My cousin married a girl from a relatively wealthy family. The parents gave them a much nicer start in life - expensive wedding, house in the suburbs, SUV for the kiddies and then they helped finance his business when he went out on his own and then they helped save his business with a loan when it was floundering. Not my cousin's fault - he would be happy with the simple life but SHE needs to be kept in the manner to which she is accustomed.
Meanwhile her brother did everything on his own and never asked for anything.
The in-laws have told my cousin and his wife that every penny they gave them is coming out of the inheritance when they die and the brother will get the lion's share. Everyone seems to be cool with that though.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 9:50 pm to East Coast Band
Unless it’s drastic, I wouldn’t. Meaning if child A is inheriting nothing from his in laws and child B is inheriting $100k from his in laws, I don’t think that merits any changes on your part. But if child B stands to inherit millions…one would hope they’d understand your desire to provide for child A. Key word being “hope.” In practice, I’ve only seen this done in a case where one child had a legitimate physical disability that prevented her from working or providing for herself. The parents left her with more knowing that she would need to pay for care…potentially for many decades…once they were no longer there to care for her.
This post was edited on 4/15/24 at 9:54 pm
Posted on 4/15/24 at 10:21 pm to DitkaAndDaBoers
quote:
I'm not black so I don't understand how equity works.
According to the blacks, neither do they.
Posted on 4/15/24 at 10:22 pm to Herschal
quote:
allowed him to jack it at the kitchen table
What is the big deal the guy was just hanging brain
Posted on 4/15/24 at 10:25 pm to East Coast Band
Kill the rich kid and split the inheritance with the broke arse deadbeat kid. Win-win
Posted on 4/15/24 at 11:19 pm to East Coast Band
All are very successful so we are planning to spend our savings on ourselves!
We figure that we have fulfilled our responsibilities toward them.
Whatever is left will be doled out equally.
We figure that we have fulfilled our responsibilities toward them.
Whatever is left will be doled out equally.
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