Who Here's Looking at Going Tri-Kap?

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Amidst the hordes of young men going through pledge season right now, details are now emerging of a third-year transfer student from Cal Poly SLO being duped into joining a very different type of brotherhood. Hugh Moran claims he was hoping to join the same fraternity his father had been a member of at Dartmouth: Kappa Kappa Kappa. While at a campus organization fair held in September, he claims, he was looking for the Tri-Kap table and ended up at the Santa Barbara Klan Chapter tent instead.

“I saw the letters on the flier and I guess I just wasn’t thinking,” the mechanical engineering student explained. “All of their behavior fit the pattern of your average frat guy.” He went on to describe the Klan’s pledging process, in which he was mercilessly hazed. “They were always wearing their robes and hoods, they chanted. I thought that’s what Greek organizations did.”

Moran is now dealing with the process of dropping out of the hate group, but the chapter’s grand wizard is denying Moran’s ignorance.


“He knew exactly what he was getting himself into,” Grand Wizard Smithy Parsons said. “He just doesn’t want to admit his true feelings. He’s playing hard to get.”

Many students and faculty expressed their concerns about the Klan’s seemingly easy access to impressionable young minds.

“These kids are just in their teens and early twenties,” Carly Wu, a professor of feminist studies at the UCSB, stated. “We have to protect them from being indoctrinated with the wrong kinds of thoughts and attitudes. Also, who the frick let the KKK table on campus? I feel like that’s the real issue here. Can we please deal with that part first?”

Hugh has since abandoned the Klan and is dedicated to informing others of their presence on campus.

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