re: What was movie with Bruce willis as the taxi driver

So the big question. Who has someone else in waiting ??

A monkey never lets loose of a branch until it has a grip on another one. This really applies for women.

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Constantly questioning why it happened and looking back at old times when things were good

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You'll get answers all over from here, but here is my take:

You'll never know why it happened, honestly. They rewrite their marital history so much that they believe it - to justify their actions. I bet you heard it was all your fault? Was there an affair? Bet that was your fault, too. Don't try to figure it out because you never will. Take this time to work on yourself and become the best GT you can. Because, in reality, that's all you can do.

I sign the papers in front of the judge tomorrow and ours is done after 10 fricking years. But then again, mine was so torn from the abuse she suffered as a kid (I never knew about any of it until after divorce was mentioned) that our marriage had no chance.

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1. How'd you get over it?

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Time. Yep, time. And getting your own life which leads you to not concentrating on her. Find a hobby. Go out. Whatever.

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2. How long did it take?

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Depends on the person, really. Everyone processes things differently. However, her ghost will always be there and you won't ever get rid of it. You just have to learn how to compartmentalize it.

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3. What would you recommend my doing?

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As I said earlier, get a hobby. Join a group. Go to the gym - the punching bag helped me out a lot. I strongly suggest getting counseling of some sort. You'll need it. Trust me...

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4. When should I try to date again?

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Definitely after the divorce is done - even if you are in a no fault state, just don't. It will come back to bite you. Once again, every person is different. There is nothing wrong with a coffee date or dinner. Going out works wonders for the soul, especially given the beating that we have taken during all this - it makes one feel alive again. It doesn't have to be romantic types, just go out. Some go immediately after divorce, some wait months or years...all up to you.

Hope that helps.

OH, and get the best lawyer you can. You will need it.

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Thanks for the real responses

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The 1st couple of years are always the toughest. I know! You need to step up to the plate and work on your marriage.

Don't listen to all these wisecracks. Don't know how religious you are, but read..."Love Dare" and rent the movie "Fireproof".

You ignored the signs before marrying in the first place. 18 mo and you all tired of each other?

You can start dating anytime. If you mean start dating to find another spouse you may want to mature some more.

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4. When should I try to date again? Dating is what got you into this mess in the first place. Go to bars, pick up strange...profit

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This is the truth. Your marriage card has been revoked for at least 5 years.

New Life Motto: frick Bitches, get $$. You'll thank me later.

I'd be pissed if I bought an expensive wedding gift.

I was on the way to my cousin's wedding a few years back and my dad called me and said his fiancée was having cold feet. I asked him if I should still come. He said yes, but don't bring in the gift until the reception.

On a serious note, I had a short-lived marriage in my early 20s as well. It sucks at first just thinking that you failed at marriage. Time and drinking is what helped me. And good friends.

Good luck.

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What would you recommend my doing?

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Go to Vegas for the next one and spare family and friends from having to act like they want to be there

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My wife and I got married when we were 17. That was 23 years ago.

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Congrats...that's very rare.

Take up hobbies. Were there sports you used to like & don't play anymore? Work out. Do things to improve yourself. Change is hard. It's easier to stay & be miserable than it is to leave. Give yourself time & know the way you feel is normal.