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Started By
Message
What practical joke have you pulled on someone lately?
Posted on 1/18/17 at 8:56 am
Posted on 1/18/17 at 8:56 am
I'm typically not a jokester, but this morning I had the bug.
We are doing a bathroom remodel and needed a crowbar, so I went to Home Depot to buy one. The cash register gal curiously asked if I was planning to pry open some crates.
I quietly replied in the most serious manner I could, "No, mostly some back doors or to bust out a window when their deadbolt is too strong. I got fired yesterday and need some quick cash. By the way, do you guys sell ski masks?"
She then told me she wasn't comfortable selling me the crowbar. Long story short, she called her manager over and of course we talked it out that I was kidding and they were cool about it. But the look on her face was priceless when I asked about ski masks. And no, HD doesn't sell them if anyone is wondering.
#nb4CSB
#nb4NotTrue
#nb4ToldYourMomIdCallHerBack
We are doing a bathroom remodel and needed a crowbar, so I went to Home Depot to buy one. The cash register gal curiously asked if I was planning to pry open some crates.
I quietly replied in the most serious manner I could, "No, mostly some back doors or to bust out a window when their deadbolt is too strong. I got fired yesterday and need some quick cash. By the way, do you guys sell ski masks?"
She then told me she wasn't comfortable selling me the crowbar. Long story short, she called her manager over and of course we talked it out that I was kidding and they were cool about it. But the look on her face was priceless when I asked about ski masks. And no, HD doesn't sell them if anyone is wondering.
#nb4CSB
#nb4NotTrue
#nb4ToldYourMomIdCallHerBack
This post was edited on 1/18/17 at 8:58 am
8
Posted on 1/18/17 at 8:59 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Omg this is so fricking hilarious. You must have been laughing so hard.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:04 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
There's a fine line when a joke goes from innocent to kind of creepy. Probably could have stopped at the deadbolt part.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:05 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Old man I work with has been having fun with a remote control fart sound toy.
He has gotten some people pretty good with it over the last year as we gets lots of new contract employees coming and going
He has gotten some people pretty good with it over the last year as we gets lots of new contract employees coming and going
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:06 am to TheAlmightySmash
I farted at the gym yesterday.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:08 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Pissed in my woman's vagina. Didn't go over well.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:12 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
That's lame as shite.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:15 am to boddagetta
quote:
That's lame as shite.
Really not even a practical joke...just a bullshite story told to a young naive register chick....
Funnier would have been his getting broken into while at the Home Depot..
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:19 am to LCA131
quote:
Funnier would have been his getting broken into while at the Home Depot
His what?
I think you're missing a word, my senile old friend.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:20 am to FulshearTiger
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/18/17 at 9:20 am
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:30 am to boddagetta
quote:
His what?
His skull, dipshit...His is correct...not him. And house is understood..
For the fourth time your son says, "loser dad, can I go to the store"? After taking the bottle of cheap vodka from your mouth you reply, "go"! The 'to the store' is understood.
Now you have put me in a testy mood with the "senile" remark....
Now you have put me in a testy mood with the "senile" remark.
This post was edited on 1/18/17 at 9:37 am
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:50 am to LCA131
quote:
His skull, dipshit...His is correct...not him. And house is understood..
For the fourth time your son says, "loser dad, can I go to the store"? After taking the bottle of cheap vodka from your mouth you reply, "go"! The 'to the store' is understood.
Now you have put me in a testy mood with the "senile" remark....
Now you have put me in a testy mood with the "senile" remark.
this was edited?
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:51 am to boddagetta
Well, he is from Texas.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:52 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Total accident but it worked out for my entertainment...
Last week my work sent me to Houston for a job and they put me up in the Brookhollow Sheraton for a few days. I used an old carry-on bag that Was filled with stuff from escaping the flood back in August. One of the items was a Halloween prop, a realistic-looking lower leg. I left it in the bag.
Last Thurs. while packing up someone started trying to open my room door....then banging on it, demanding "Jim" open up right this second.
I opened the door with a Modelo in one hand and the fake leg in the other.
This middle-aged woman stuttered something about she had the wrong room, she was sorry....etc, etc.
I told her that's OK while scratching my ear with the big toe of the Halloween prop and then asked her if she wanted a beer?
Last week my work sent me to Houston for a job and they put me up in the Brookhollow Sheraton for a few days. I used an old carry-on bag that Was filled with stuff from escaping the flood back in August. One of the items was a Halloween prop, a realistic-looking lower leg. I left it in the bag.
Last Thurs. while packing up someone started trying to open my room door....then banging on it, demanding "Jim" open up right this second.
I opened the door with a Modelo in one hand and the fake leg in the other.
This middle-aged woman stuttered something about she had the wrong room, she was sorry....etc, etc.
I told her that's OK while scratching my ear with the big toe of the Halloween prop and then asked her if she wanted a beer?
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:58 am to Kcrad
quote:
Well, he is from Texas.
No, I'm not actually. Born and raised in Louisiana.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 10:10 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
I place fake craigslist ads to sell my friends truck and put his contact information. He gets all kinds of calls with people wanting to see his truck. 
Posted on 1/18/17 at 10:30 am to LCA131
quote:
Now you have put me in a testy mood with the "senile" remark....
Now you have put me in a testy mood with the "senile" remark.
ISWYDT
Posted on 1/18/17 at 8:37 pm to beerJeep
Posted free Sheetrock on craigslist with my bro in laws contact information, and also posted free oral favors for sheetrock in the casual encounters part.
Posted on 1/18/17 at 8:59 pm to notiger1997
Years ago, I used to manage a small retail store. I hid one of the fart machines down an aisle that I could see down close to the stockroom. I would wait until 2 people would pass each other and then I would push the button on the remote unleashing a nasty wet fart sound. I would almost die laughing behind that door while they would stare at each other.
Now I just like putting rubber bands on the trigger of a sink sprayer so that when people turn on the water it sprays all over them. That shite never gets old.
Now I just like putting rubber bands on the trigger of a sink sprayer so that when people turn on the water it sprays all over them. That shite never gets old.
This post was edited on 1/18/17 at 9:01 pm
Posted on 1/18/17 at 9:10 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
once i tied a big black rubber snake onto my fishing rod and and placed the snake on the other side of the fire where about 15 friends were sitting in chairs. And when i started reeling it across everyones feet all hell broke loose. good times
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