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Supermarket is closed over fears male shoppers could suffer permanent erections...

Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:06 am
Posted by saint tiger225
San Diego
Member since Jan 2011
35371 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:06 am
Supermarket is closed over fears male shoppers could suffer permanent erections: Spider whose bite can cause bizarre reaction in men sparks evacuation


The spider can cause long-lasting erections and bites can be fatal in cases

quote:

An Austrian supermarket was evacuated after the store manager reportedly spotted a banana-loving spider capable of causing permanent erections in men.

quote:

The Penny shop in Krems an der Donau, 45 miles west of Vienna, remains closed since Tuesday over fears of the four-inch black and red spider.

Emergency services were called and warn the spider, still at large, may have been a highly venomous Brazilian Wandering Spider, known to reach Europe by hiding in bunches of bananas.

The creature is one of the planet's most venomous spiders, and bites can be fatal after causing hypothermia, blurred vision, convulsions and, in some cases, erections. The spider's venom is even being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments after it was found that a bite from one of the spiders can give male victims a painful four-hour erection.

quote:

spokesman for the Rewe retail group said that 'comprehensive cleaning and disinfection measures' are now under way to prepare the store for reopening.

But authorities added that: 'Despite an extensive search, no spiders have been found to date.'

quote:

The size and colouring of the 'unidentifiable' spider led authorities to believe it was a Brazilian Wandering Spider, capable of emitting a deadly neurotoxin.

Some 4,000 people are bitten by the arachnid each year, with 0.5 per cent of bites leading to death.

Much has been done to develop an effective anti-venom, reducing the likelihood of death.

But just one bite from the spider can also cause severe cramping and tachycardia, or an increased heart rate.

The Brazilian Wandering spider appears in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's most venomous arachnid.

Its scientific name - Phoneutria - is Greek for ‘murderess’.

Posted by SixthAndBarone
Member since Jan 2019
8167 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:08 am to
I fail to see the downside.
Posted by LSUfanNkaty
LC, Louisiana
Member since Jan 2015
11098 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:09 am to
quote:

the four-inch


I've got your four inches right here....
Posted by Northshore Aggie
Mandeville, LA
Member since Sep 2022
4640 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:09 am to
quote:

the spider, still at large, may have been a highly venomous Brazilian Wandering Spider

Posted by BoogaBear
Member since Jul 2013
5555 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:09 am to
Get bit by insane spider

*frick yeah I'm going to be Spider-Man*

Gets super boner.
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
95253 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:09 am to
Day-o day-o
Daylight come and
Me wanna go home
Posted by bigwheel
Lake Charles
Member since Feb 2008
6491 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:10 am to
But I want a permanent erection
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
95253 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:10 am to
If it lasts four hours or more, call someone to brag about it.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124073 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:13 am to
I got bit by this spider and all it made me do was shoot white goo.


Posted by X123F45
Member since Apr 2015
27378 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:13 am to
In other news, a local man just died from chaffing.
Posted by Shexter
Prairieville
Member since Feb 2014
13867 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:13 am to
quote:

banana-loving spider


There's a Lizzo joke in here somewhere.....

quote:

capable of causing permanent erections in men.


Nevermind.....
Posted by jaytothen
Member since Jan 2020
6404 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:14 am to
quote:

bites can be fatal after causing hypothermia, blurred vision, convulsions and, in some cases, erections


Sounds like my typical sex life.
Posted by WPBTiger
Parts Unknown
Member since Nov 2011
30954 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:14 am to
quote:

permanent erection


Posted by saint tiger225
San Diego
Member since Jan 2011
35371 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:15 am to
quote:

Get bit by insane spider

*frick yeah I'm going to be Spider-Man*

Gets super boner.

Posted by Jwho77
cyperspace
Member since Sep 2003
76658 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:22 am to
Posted by RaginCajunz
Member since Mar 2009
5334 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:25 am to
quote:

Get bit by insane spider

*frick yeah I'm going to be Spider-Man*

Gets super boner.


You just need to get a little cape to tie on.
Posted by TigerCoon
Member since Nov 2005
18860 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:29 am to
Posted by MorbidTheClown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
65851 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:37 am to
ole baw searching separately hoping to get bit
Posted by SG_Geaux
Beautiful St George
Member since Aug 2004
77957 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 11:16 am to
Booking my flight now
Posted by deathvalleytiger10
Member since Sep 2009
7569 posts
Posted on 8/10/23 at 11:27 am to
In other news, a horde of men has lined up outside the Super Market...
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