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Spinoff Vets and Active Duty Personnel What's the Funniest Thing you saw a DI do
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:01 pm
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:01 pm
We had this one fricking piece of shite that would dip coffee to stay awake, the DI's saw him do it. They went and got all the ground coffee from our MRE's and made him dip it then swallow it. The entire platoon couldn't keep from laughing when he got up after about 5 minutes after swallowing it and running to the nearest shitter. We could hear him groaning 100 yards away.
Eta: And of course the DI's net him on the quarterdeck after he got done shitting his brains out.
I wish I could remember more stuff but boot camp is a blur.
Eta: And of course the DI's net him on the quarterdeck after he got done shitting his brains out.
I wish I could remember more stuff but boot camp is a blur.
This post was edited on 8/12/15 at 3:13 pm
19
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:05 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
We had one guy in my flight that couldn't march to save his life. If you told him to walk, he walked normal. Had normal arm swing, everything. The VERY second you told him to march, he magically started walking like a damn penguin...
Anyways, we were marching and after our TI had enough, he told him to get the frick out of his flight and go march with our sister flight until he figured shite out. So he falls out of place and starts running to our sister flight. Before he got there, the other TI was yelling at him to get back into his fricking flight he isn't marching there. So he turned around and started running back to our flight and our TI just yelled at him to get the frick away.. This kid proceeded to look like a tennis ball going back and forth for about 5 minutes. Good times, good times.
Anyways, we were marching and after our TI had enough, he told him to get the frick out of his flight and go march with our sister flight until he figured shite out. So he falls out of place and starts running to our sister flight. Before he got there, the other TI was yelling at him to get back into his fricking flight he isn't marching there. So he turned around and started running back to our flight and our TI just yelled at him to get the frick away.. This kid proceeded to look like a tennis ball going back and forth for about 5 minutes. Good times, good times.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:07 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
The funniest thing I saw was when some guy said he wanted to quit and that if they didn't let him go home he would kill himself. One DI said "when slitting the wrist make sure you go WITH the grain and not against it". Another DI told him to go hop the fence and stand on the railroad tracks until he saw a bright light.
Another time they found a dirty white tshirt in some dickhead's garment bag during inspection. Made him tie the shirt around his head like you see the Japs do in WWII movies... then had him run up and down the barracks with his arms out like an airplane. He had to make machine gun noises and yell "I'm a garment bag kamikaze!" over and over.
They eventually found it so amusing that they had the guy run through all the adjacent barracks doing the same thing.
Another time they found a dirty white tshirt in some dickhead's garment bag during inspection. Made him tie the shirt around his head like you see the Japs do in WWII movies... then had him run up and down the barracks with his arms out like an airplane. He had to make machine gun noises and yell "I'm a garment bag kamikaze!" over and over.
They eventually found it so amusing that they had the guy run through all the adjacent barracks doing the same thing.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:08 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
we had a Gong Show at the end of Boot Camp which to this day is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. We had DI's impersonating other DI's and Recruits and Vice Versa.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:09 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
we had one DI acting like he was a fricking badass, and knew everything. He had a combat patch so he had deployed and would always tell us all these war stories, yet he would do this when there no other DI around.
Well one day when our Senior DI was with us someone in the platoon mention one of his "war Stories",
the Senior turned to us and said " well I'll be damned who knew Capt. kangaroo was a war hero, his MOS is a 42A ( admin clerk)" we all died laughing and every time the senior saw him after that he called him 42. we thought it was great.
Well one day when our Senior DI was with us someone in the platoon mention one of his "war Stories",
the Senior turned to us and said " well I'll be damned who knew Capt. kangaroo was a war hero, his MOS is a 42A ( admin clerk)" we all died laughing and every time the senior saw him after that he called him 42. we thought it was great.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:10 pm to LSUlefty
My Dad was a DI. Unfortunately most of his stories would get me on Chicken's shite list.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:12 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
We were on a platform 10' above a pool. We had to jump off the platform and then tread water for 5 minutes in order to pass our basic swim qualification.
The pool/test is run by 5 SEALs.
One recruit steps to the edge and panics. Refuses to jump in the water. Goes completely stiff and starts crying.
The SEALs initially were encouraging but then they found out the recruit had enlisted in the Navy to become a SEAL and was slated to start BUDS immediately after bootcamp. Oh dear Jesus, they were fricking brutal to that poor kid. Never saw that recruit again.
But seriously? How the F are you going to sign up to become a US Navy SEAL when you are afraid of a 10' platform?
The pool/test is run by 5 SEALs.
One recruit steps to the edge and panics. Refuses to jump in the water. Goes completely stiff and starts crying.
The SEALs initially were encouraging but then they found out the recruit had enlisted in the Navy to become a SEAL and was slated to start BUDS immediately after bootcamp. Oh dear Jesus, they were fricking brutal to that poor kid. Never saw that recruit again.
But seriously? How the F are you going to sign up to become a US Navy SEAL when you are afraid of a 10' platform?
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:12 pm to terd ferguson
quote:
terd ferguson
Your story reminded me of another one.
Dude couldn't get his garment drawer in order so the TI grabbed a pair of socks and then threw the rest of his shite down the bay. TI proceeded to draw faces on the socks and told the trainee to walk up and down the bays and create a puppet show about how worthless he is at keeping his shite straight.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:13 pm to Tigeralum2008
Maybe he just wanted to be an AL?
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:15 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
I don't know about funny(well, I guess depending on your sense of humor), but I had TI get so pissed off there was so much talking at chow, that he threw a chair across the room. It actually hit one of the trainees in the leg, causing him to fall and down drop his tray of food. He was taken to the hospital, and he actually had fractured his leg too.
I was told the TI was bumped down from E-8 to E-5 because of his stunt.
I was told the TI was bumped down from E-8 to E-5 because of his stunt.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:17 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
SSG Mallett (hailed from Louisiana, in fact) - describing what he meant by "uniform" standard for wall locker display:
"And they all better be the same. If one man has a pubic hair on his shower shoe? You all better have a pubic hair on your shower shoe - and in the same place, too."
I didn't laugh, because the consequences were too high - but that was the most I wanted to laugh without actually doing it.
And, our DIs were so witty, as a group, we had nearly that sort of thing every day - that's just the one that stands out.
Another one - as I was the example used - SSG Kuhl - who replaced SSG Mallett as our platoon drill sergeant - explained how they could not strike us (that was a big point of emphasis during that cycle - there was an investigation from 2 or 3 cycles back with much of this same crew, apparently) but that they could adjust our equipment.
I was 140 pounds, soaking wet - he proceeded to demonstrate "adjusting our equipment" by grabbing my web gear and shaking the shite out of me.
Good times...good times at Fort Leonard Wood...
"And they all better be the same. If one man has a pubic hair on his shower shoe? You all better have a pubic hair on your shower shoe - and in the same place, too."
I didn't laugh, because the consequences were too high - but that was the most I wanted to laugh without actually doing it.
And, our DIs were so witty, as a group, we had nearly that sort of thing every day - that's just the one that stands out.
Another one - as I was the example used - SSG Kuhl - who replaced SSG Mallett as our platoon drill sergeant - explained how they could not strike us (that was a big point of emphasis during that cycle - there was an investigation from 2 or 3 cycles back with much of this same crew, apparently) but that they could adjust our equipment.
I was 140 pounds, soaking wet - he proceeded to demonstrate "adjusting our equipment" by grabbing my web gear and shaking the shite out of me.
Good times...good times at Fort Leonard Wood...
This post was edited on 8/12/15 at 3:18 pm
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:17 pm to USAF Hart
I got in trouble a few times for laughing. I made the mistake of telling one of my RDCs that I couldn't refrain from laughing whenever I heard a fart noise. When one of the other RDCs had us lined up and was chewing everyone's arse about something this other RDC would walk up next to me and bust arse really loud. So not only would I start laughing but the RDC chewing arse would think I was the one that interrupted his yelling with a fart. I'd look over and RDC McFartfart would just be smiling at me. fricking a-hole.
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:19 pm to terd ferguson
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:20 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
One guy forgot to put pt shorts on under sweatpants for morning pt. The DI made him do pt in his drawers and it was fricking cold
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:22 pm to terd ferguson
During Duty Week, I was the Barracks Yeoman. Had to type up the forms that process recruits out who had failed to finish bootcamp.
One guy was processed out because he had sewn his knuckles together (all 4 knuckles). When I asked him why did he sew his fingers together, he told me that his RDC ripped into him for saluting with his fingers apart.
Had another guy go AWOL one night only to be found walking around a nearby neighborhood wearing nothing more than his skivvies and a "Steak n Shake" apron. He was also carrying a dog muzzle...
One guy was processed out because he had sewn his knuckles together (all 4 knuckles). When I asked him why did he sew his fingers together, he told me that his RDC ripped into him for saluting with his fingers apart.
Had another guy go AWOL one night only to be found walking around a nearby neighborhood wearing nothing more than his skivvies and a "Steak n Shake" apron. He was also carrying a dog muzzle...
This post was edited on 8/12/15 at 3:26 pm
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:22 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
(no message)
This post was edited on 11/28/21 at 1:16 pm
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:26 pm to terd ferguson
I totally just remembered this,
one night I'm on fire guard, and I hear yelling coming the DI office. I go about my business and a few minutes later he comes storming out with a chair in his hand. he flips the light on in the barracks and throws the chair waking everyone up .
and at the top of his lungs he yells "who fricked Melissa?!!!!" we were all dumbfounded and didn't saying anything. he grabbed the nearest recruit and told him to bring look at the chair and there it was in white out across the seat of the chair "I fricked Melissa" come to find out Melissa was this DI 18yo daughter. man was foaming at the mouth.
much later in the cycle it was another DI messing with him. That seemed to the thing for our DI, they loved to mess each other as much as messing with us
one night I'm on fire guard, and I hear yelling coming the DI office. I go about my business and a few minutes later he comes storming out with a chair in his hand. he flips the light on in the barracks and throws the chair waking everyone up .
and at the top of his lungs he yells "who fricked Melissa?!!!!" we were all dumbfounded and didn't saying anything. he grabbed the nearest recruit and told him to bring look at the chair and there it was in white out across the seat of the chair "I fricked Melissa" come to find out Melissa was this DI 18yo daughter. man was foaming at the mouth.
much later in the cycle it was another DI messing with him. That seemed to the thing for our DI, they loved to mess each other as much as messing with us
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:27 pm to Toecutter
Haha this didn't happen to me but a buddy in my unit was telling us one day during OCS at Quantico, the instructors were passing out mail and somebody let out a silent but deadly fart. The instructor smelled it and said "you, you, and you, suck in real hard and hold it" when they did he said "now go run out the back hatch and blow that nasty shite out of my squad bay"
I'll never quite understand how they can just come up with shite like that on the spot. That's what dumbfounded me about boot camp.
I'll never quite understand how they can just come up with shite like that on the spot. That's what dumbfounded me about boot camp.
This post was edited on 8/12/15 at 3:30 pm
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:28 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
stop stop im crying im laughing so hard
Posted on 8/12/15 at 3:31 pm to Tigeralum2008
quote:
Had another guy go AWOL one night only to be found walking around a nearby neighborhood wearing nothing more than his skivvies and a "Steak n Shake" apron. He was also carrying a dog muzzle...
Bad thing is that had that guy made it to the fleet he would have been fine. shite like that used to be not only acceptable but what made one a legend among the crew. Some things are just worth going to NJP over.
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