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Question(s) about infidelity.

Posted on 7/13/16 at 10:42 am
Posted by ManBearTiger
BRLA
Member since Jun 2007
21839 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 10:42 am
If a person is in a relationship with a degree of longevity- 2+ years- and the other person "cheats" on them, how does that reflect on the first subject?


Who says if the faithful party is a male they are a cucked chump and who says the female is a hussy if she was the unfaithful party? What if the sexes are reversed and it's the male who cheats on his partner?

Are there seperate standards between how a cheating male and cheating female are viewed in our society? Or is the whole idea of fidelity just kind of going by the wayside like most other established standards of decency?

Obviously there is a great deal of nuance in making the call depending on the situation and there's no one-size fits all diagnosis, but in your experience, who is usually more at fault for infidelity in a relationship? Is it the person who ultimately cheated, or is faithful, but perhaps complacent, person who allowed the relationship to deteriorate to the point where the other partner felt compelled to cheat?


Do you even consider it cheating if you aren't married? I've met some who don't, and I can understand where they are coming from, although I don't necessarily agree 100%.

Tangentially what is the batting average of relationships that begins with infidelity lasting?


This isn't in reference to anything specific, more just ponderings; please feel free to share personal sob stories or second-hand anecdotes. In fact, I think those would be more entertaining than real answers to my questions.
This post was edited on 7/13/16 at 10:55 am
Posted by oldcharlie8
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2012
7806 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 10:43 am to
no marriage. no cheating.

Posted by ForeverLSU02
Albany
Member since Jun 2007
52147 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 10:43 am to
quote:

the whole idea of fidelity just kind of going by the wayside like most other established standards of decency?
this, unfortunately
Posted by ThatMakesSense
Fort Lauderdale
Member since Aug 2015
14792 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 10:46 am to
Define cheating.

We talking penetration? Tonsil hockey? HJ? BJ? ZJ?
Posted by ManBearTiger
BRLA
Member since Jun 2007
21839 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 10:57 am to
Chatting on AIM seems like a reasonable threshold.
This post was edited on 7/13/16 at 10:58 am
Posted by monkeybutt
Member since Oct 2015
4583 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:01 am to
quote:

Chatting on AIM


Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67079 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:02 am to
It delends on the level of cheating. A drunken kiss is one thing. Blowing someone is another. Carrying on a repeated, elaborate affair is another.

However, I subscribe to the theory that the sex of the cheater doesn't matter, only the degree of betrayal. The stigma is the same in a long-term relationship.

However, in short term "fling" relationships which have not self-defined themselves as monogamous, there certainly is greater stigma on female unfaithfulness than male, but the disparity is not nearly as great as it was 50 or even 20 years ago.
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
19272 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:03 am to
Once a cheater always a cheater, some people have no values or morals.
Posted by Sidicous
Middle of Nowhere
Member since Aug 2015
17155 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:04 am to
Basically, after more than a few dates if they are interested in others simply walk away. Much less after 2 years, run. Way too many others available to waste time, energy, emotion on any indecisive trifling bitches (of either gender, or would that now be any gender?)
Posted by tke857
Member since Jan 2012
12195 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:05 am to
cheating is cheating. doesnt matter if you're married or not. If you're in a committed relationship then you shouldnt "step out of bounds". Plain and simple.
This post was edited on 7/13/16 at 11:24 am
Posted by NWLA Tiguh12
Member since Jul 2015
2402 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:06 am to
If males cheat, we are pieces of shite. If females cheat, it's still our fault somehow. We lose either way.
Posted by USMCTiger03
Member since Sep 2007
71176 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:23 am to
Women cheating: whores.
Men cheating: buy a beer.
Posted by SEC. 593
Chicago
Member since Aug 2012
4043 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:24 am to
Sorry that she cheated on you.
Posted by SthGADawg
Member since Nov 2007
7035 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:25 am to
betrayal is what defines cheating.....blatant betrayal and lying..as was already stated...a drunken kiss is one thing....having a full blown affair for months or weeks or whatever and going to lengthy and complicated measures to conceal it...is another...

to blame? both usually...if they are stepping out, why?...whoever is getting cheated on...8/10 could have done something to prevent....

..old lady unhappy cause you are always in the deer stand or on the boat?....don't get upset when she cheats on you...you could have spent less time away...and put some of that focus into her

same goes for females....you fat?...don't clean house?...prude in the bedroom?....unappreciative of your man?...don't get surprised when he is banging out the hot girl from work....

it goes both ways...if you don't want to be exclusive...then don't settle down...once you do...male or female...you shouldn't be cheating...
Posted by CelticDog
Member since Apr 2015
42867 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:28 am to
I like the use of one size fits all.

We are all different. there is no right answer.

If my wife cheated and I learned of it, I would change the locks.
She would be in divorce court so fast it would make her head spin.

And she's a solid O-T 8. no fine arse is worth that shite.
HIV
HEP C
and a long list of diseases


We have had some interesting conversations about her being an O-T 8.
She has been able to go from guy to guy if she didn't like how things were going. She is so fine, she doesnt have to deal with anything that isn't to her liking.
I mentioned last weekend in bed how she is the equal of the fine women who are judged on O-T and how that has worked for her.
She said, "It comes in handy".

She gets hit on all the time. We were at the beach two days ago and some guy hit on her when she was pulling the boat up to the shore. I was up on the shore and he didn't know her or me. He just went into his patter about the boat, pretending to be interested in the boat.

She's perfect. Such a human has choices in life.
Yes, I have out kicked my coverage, but I have no qualms about dumping her if she falters. I am way too jealous for that. I am not sharing.
I would miss her touch, her energy, her smile, her mother's O & G money.
And I would just as soon move to Texas as deal with knowing she was with someone else last. Its not happening.

That is my position. I think I would sue the guy too. "alienation of affection". No idea if they still have that in my venue.




This post was edited on 7/13/16 at 11:37 am
Posted by Goldrush25
San Diego, CA
Member since Oct 2012
33794 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:35 am to
I believe the majority of people have no business being in an exclusive relationship. It's not natural.

Seems to me two people should date, live together, whatever, until such a time when the arrangement is no longer tenable. If one person has checked out of the relationship, it's best to just dissolve the relationship, then date whoever you want. Or just have an arrangement where both are free to date whoever. Cheating is incredibly selfish.
Posted by Wtodd
Tampa, FL
Member since Oct 2013
67482 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:35 am to
You know what's cheating & so does she. Either you're in a committed relationship or not.
Posted by CelticDog
Member since Apr 2015
42867 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:38 am to
quote:

If one person has checked out of the relationship, it's best to just dissolve the relationship


I agree.

Posted by Hawkeye95
Member since Dec 2013
20293 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:40 am to
quote:

the whole idea of fidelity just kind of going by the wayside like most other established standards of decency?
this, unfortunately


cheating as always gone on. The difference is social media IMHO.
Posted by SthGADawg
Member since Nov 2007
7035 posts
Posted on 7/13/16 at 11:41 am to
quote:

And she's a solid O-T 8.


quote:

We have had some interesting conversations about her being an O-T 8.


quote:

I mentioned last weekend in bed how she is the equal of the fine women who are judged on O-T and how that has worked for her.


quote:

Yes, I have out kicked my coverage



pics or GTFO...too many brags in that one post on how hot your old lady is...you are obviously used to guys checking her out...post em up
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