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re: OT Parents - Suggestions with private school decision

Posted on 3/4/15 at 10:05 pm to
Posted by sassyLSU
Lake Charles, La.
Member since May 2011
2080 posts
Posted on 3/4/15 at 10:05 pm to
run away.

but before you do, get real clear on what the issues are.

I am guessing 4 yr old (5 next year) may be better off staying home with mother for a year or two. Do some interacting with peers under close supervision. see what the issues are.

maybe they both really should have been at home at that age.

There are lots of kinds of schools. maybe half time for the young one if you can afford to have mom at home.

Posted by bpinson
Ms
Member since May 2010
2668 posts
Posted on 3/4/15 at 10:31 pm to
I don't get it. My sons are all out of high school and went to public school in rural Ms. They each got academic scholarships to college and have done fairly well. Private kindergarten, contracts? shite, maybe I am out of touch, but it seems like you guys are being taken for a ride. Of course there is a lilly white little private school where we live, but as far as I'm concerned they are full of shite. My kids kicked most of that arse in the ACT. When most of these kids get out of school and go to college they are in for a very rude awakening. Of course there are exceptions and some really good private schools. I get that. If little Johnny didn't go to so and so K school he'll never get into the private elementary or middle school. And I am well aware there are some public schools that really suck. Keep spending the money and they will tell you what you want to hear.
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42465 posts
Posted on 3/4/15 at 10:36 pm to
It's more of a status thing for most of the high end private school parents, unfortunately
This post was edited on 3/4/15 at 10:37 pm
Posted by TutHillTiger
Mississippi Alabama
Member since Sep 2010
43700 posts
Posted on 3/4/15 at 10:47 pm to
Have kids fully tested. Probably ADD or something simple. A lot of boys dont adjust well to school. May need to be held back one year. Not extending a kid a contract to a kid that young is bullshite btw, the child has a behavioral issue or they are a bad school.

Of course my son didnt get kicked out but basically learned nothing at a wonderful Montessori school so you never know.
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42465 posts
Posted on 3/4/15 at 10:51 pm to
Yes, because medication is the answer for everything. I'm sure most four year olds have ADD
Posted by TutHillTiger
Mississippi Alabama
Member since Sep 2010
43700 posts
Posted on 3/4/15 at 10:52 pm to
Nope but if they have it might as well know it.
Posted by Kickadawgitfeelsgood
Lafayette LA
Member since Nov 2005
14089 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 3:32 am to
quote:

Our 4 year old was, at that time, not offered a contract to come back for kindergarten,

Tell Headmaster to frick off. Why would you want your kids to be taught by people who obviously look for the path of least resistance ?
Posted by Kickadawgitfeelsgood
Lafayette LA
Member since Nov 2005
14089 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 3:52 am to
quote:

I'd hate to have my little one have the stigma of being a behavioral problem - which I've witnessed in a smaller private school.
.

2 years ago my daughter was disciplined (written) for leaving her area while waiting to be picked up from school. A couple of weeks after that incident, a young boy actually jumped in my car with my daughter, as if I were bringing him home. When I inquired about their disciplinary procedure for the young boy, no reports were filed. Their response was, " oh! that's Connor. He's such a free spirit!"

Well, we found the father of the child is a cardiologist who donates regularly to the school. I'm not one of those.

Give more money. You will be surprised to see how "accepted" your child becomes.
Posted by JudgeHolden
Gila River
Member since Jan 2008
18566 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 4:45 am to
My son is 18 and graduating. Sent him to a very nice private school the whole way.

Recently we talked about this. We are very close. We both think now it wasn't really right for him. For who he is, he would have been better off in public school.

I sent him to private school because I went to a shithole public school, literally the worst in the country at the time. I felt like I worked my arse off to get where I was, and now I could give him something better. I was wrong. Private wasn't better for him.

My son is great and will thrive. But I let my baggage drive the school decision. Don't do that.
This post was edited on 3/5/15 at 4:47 am
Posted by Sir Drinksalot
Member since Aug 2005
16742 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 7:08 am to
quote:

Sure, they "test" your child to make it look selective and to justify the outrageous tuition but what are they going to test in Kinder to make any sort of reasonable decision as to whether or not they get in? Be willing to pay the tuition and they'll give you a chance.


They test for a whole spectrum of info. From learning to behavior. I can't remember the name but it's a system. They are protecting themselves. And no they will not accept you if they think you are going to either be so disruptive other parents will start complaining, have a learning disability, are too immature, etc. out of 30 Kinders maybe one or two gets denied. But it happens.

If public school didn't suck so bad parents wouldn't have to do things like this.
Posted by Kickadawgitfeelsgood
Lafayette LA
Member since Nov 2005
14089 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 8:54 am to
quote:

And no they will not accept you if they think you are going to either be so disruptive other parents will start complaining, have a learning disability, are too immature, etc.

Unless you donate

Child behavior problem of average Joe = problem child

Child behavior problem of cardiologist = free spirit

Posted by Aubie Spr96
lolwut?
Member since Dec 2009
41103 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 9:13 am to
We have OT Ballers here in Bham?!?? fricking awesome. Altamont or Indian Spring are both 20K per year for a high school aged kid.
Posted by Sir Drinksalot
Member since Aug 2005
16742 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 9:15 am to


To a certain extent, prob so. Private schools don't get the state money public schools do. Donations count.
Posted by Sid in Lakeshore
Member since Oct 2008
41956 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 9:19 am to
Depends on how much further the second school is........

:troof:
Posted by moneyg
Member since Jun 2006
56466 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 9:35 am to
quote:

I will try to be as succinct as possible. I have 2 children, 4 & 6 that attend a private school here in Birmingham. The youngest is in 4k program and has had a difficult time adjusting to the structure, but I wouldn't say he is a behavioral problem. His older brother was much worse in the same class with the same teacher the year before.

The day after we returned from Christmas break, the headmaster called us into his office. Our 4 year old was, at that time, not offered a contract to come back for kindergarten, but our older son was extended a contract to return. This was conditional and a contract could later be extended assuming his behavior improved, but he wanted to give us time to look around.

So we looked around, we found another school and it looks like they both will get in. The school we have them enrolled in currently has also come around and extended a contract to our 4 year old. So we have a decision to make. There are pros and cons to each school of course, with proximity being the first that jumps to mind.

Prior to the contract issue I had complaints with the school, but nothing that would have me looking around. What says the OT? Would you move the kids to a new school, or keep them where they are?



Make the decision that is in the best interest of your child (all things considered). Don't let your pride get in the way.
Posted by 9th life
birmingham
Member since Sep 2009
7310 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 9:39 am to
In New Orleans terms, it would be like living in Mid-City and choosing between Jesuit and Newman.

My current commute to drop the kids off is between 5-7 minutes, the new commute would be 25-30 minutes.
Posted by ever43
Raleigh, NC
Member since Aug 2009
2947 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 12:09 pm to
What part of Bham do you live and what's the private school? Altamont?
Posted by epbart
new york city
Member since Mar 2005
2926 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 1:31 pm to
You're going to have things you don't like about any school. (I have kids in two different, exclusive private schools in NYC. Both are great schools; both are exceptional in different ways and both have weaknesses-- what I would call problems-- in other ways.) So, it really depends on what the specific problems are and what your values are.

If you have quibbles with inconsistencies regading how some rules are enforced or with certain teachers, those factors can change every year and are not necessarily a good reason to move the kids. If it is something that goes against your value system and you know for a fact that the other school is better in that regard, then consider changing. Example: if you're all about academic rigor and the current school is about embracing each child and moving at an individual pace, maybe you should consider moving. Conversely, if you are all about recognizing the individual talents of each kid and allowing them a greater breadth of expression, you should make the opposite decision.

The best advice I can give is to make notes considering various angles: academic rigor, character enrichment opportunities, sports, test scores, location, the problems you have now, etc. Then ask every parent you know that has kids in older grades (from both schools) how similar concerns may have resolved over time. This is not a guarantee that your experience will unfold the same, but will give perspective.

If you don't know any parents at the other school, reach out to the the school to find out who some of the parents on the PA are. From my experience, the majority of the moms on the school PA love to feel involved and give advice. And they won't quite gloss things the way a school administrator will; moms love to dish dirt. So, find out who is on the PA, email one or more of them to say you're considering entering your kids and joining the school community and would like some advice/feedback.

It's safe enough to tell the PA mom your older one is a solid student and the younger one is a little less mature for the age and you want to make sure it's a good fit. Then there's always the anecdotal joke how the second kid is always so different from the first kid (to make the conversation casual). Tell her the issues at the old school as long as it doesn't reflect badly on you-- like your youngest one bludgeoned another kid with a thermos. It's somewhat common sense, but the more you build rapport and share info (in terms of what your experiences are at the current school and what you're looking for), the more likely other parents will be to share helpful info.

Regarding location, I understand the other school is not as close. Not necessarily a big deal, but if you're the only parent from your area at that school, it may be a slight drag when your kid becomes friends with kids across town and wants to go to their house. If the other school is a better fit, don't pass it up for this reason, but be aware that play dates might require a little travel. This can be good or bad.

I didn't catch if you're mom or dad. I will say it is more natural for moms to do this sort of work / networking.
Posted by 9th life
birmingham
Member since Sep 2009
7310 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 1:43 pm to
Southside. Altamont doesn't start until 5th grade, which we may or may not send them there that early (my wife and I have differing opinions on that). We currently have them at a school downtown, the school we may move them to is in Mountain Brook.


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