Non political feminist question for the sake of argument

On the one hand, it goes without saying that men are evil. They oppress women, having a long history of chauvinism and abuse, mainly due to a physical strength advantage.

On the other hand gay men get a pass. They do not represent a threat due to having a like perspective on sexual orientation as women and are view more a peer. They too are victimized by the archetypal male and are not to be akin to straight men.

Now comes the gender identity issue. Women who identify as male and men who identify as female. They too are victims of male abuse and are not to be associated with straight men.

If men are so evil why do gays want to have sex with them and women want to change identify in order to identify as one?