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Mom vs porch pirates in Austin feces fight

Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:13 pm
Posted by Diseasefreeforall
Member since Oct 2012
5528 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:13 pm
quote:

Several residents of a neighborhood in south Austin, Texas, claim to have seen the same thieves swiping packages from their porches again and again.

Gabriela was already frustrated when it happened to her. But when she saw her neighbors posting surveillance videos of what looked like the same suspects and vehicle — a black Chevy Suburban with no plates — she stepped in, hoping to thwart the operation.

Specifically, she and her husband put a box of dirty diapers on the front porch.

“The same [people] came back and took [the] package,” she said. “And when they discovered it was a bunch of dirty diapers they came back and smeared those diapers on our front door.”

“Thirty minutes later, they came back with a giant bag of cow manure. They spread that all over our front porch and on our cars in the driveway,” Gabriela said. “That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I called police, filed a report, and now there’s a detective on the case.”


Local news

Youtube with video of shitty thieves
Posted by TexasTiger33
Member since Feb 2022
13364 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:14 pm to
That's shitty...
Posted by OldmanBeasley
Charlotte
Member since Jun 2014
9696 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:15 pm to
Oldmanbeasley has never had the misfortune of running into a porch pirate, but has had to fight off a butt pirate.
Posted by KingBarkus
New Orleans
Member since Nov 2009
8338 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:21 pm to
When they returned to smear feces on the house would be a declaration of war in my book. I would dedicate my life to seeing these punks suffer.
Posted by Jameson2954
Member since Mar 2022
657 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:32 pm to
I would have been waiting for them to come back…
Posted by cgrand
HAMMOND
Member since Oct 2009
38785 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:34 pm to
quote:

I called police, filed a report, and now there’s a detective on the case.”
they're working in shifts to crack this case I’m sure
Posted by Thundercles
Mars
Member since Sep 2010
5048 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:34 pm to
Just make a bomb and let them die when they open it. Hopefully a painful death.
Posted by JackieTreehorn
Malibu
Member since Sep 2013
29091 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:38 pm to
I would have been waiting on those fricks with a baseball bat and a bottle of tanqueray.
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
64579 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:41 pm to
Ok. Hear me out…. You want to get back at the porch pirates? One word…

Claymore.



There is a 100% chance they will never try rob you (or anyone for that matter) ever again.
Posted by bad93ex
Member since Sep 2018
27202 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:45 pm to
quote:

Claymore.


No mother should have to worry about their kids dying while being porch pirates, we need more programs.
Posted by Jadrammy
Member since Aug 2022
176 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:46 pm to
If that frick comes back to smear the diapers I gave him, I'm leaving a bunch of packages at the door step and waiting for him. Promise you it would be the last time he WALKS on my property.
Posted by Tchefuncte Tiger
Bat'n Rudge
Member since Oct 2004
57221 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:50 pm to
I would have no problem with folks putting lethal explosive devices disguised as packages on their front porches. Kill a few of these assholes and this kind of crap will stop.
Posted by AUbagman
LA
Member since Jun 2014
10568 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:51 pm to
Black mamba in a box filled with filling. Dig around and find that gold.
This post was edited on 9/27/22 at 8:52 pm
Posted by Proximo
Member since Aug 2011
15554 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:55 pm to
quote:

I would have no problem with folks putting lethal explosive devices disguised as packages on their front porches. Kill a few of these assholes and this kind of crap will stop.

Yeah that’s illegal. What happens when it’s an innocent person that gets hit by your trap?
Posted by LRB1967
Tennessee
Member since Dec 2020
15605 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:56 pm to
My house can't be seen from the street but we got a porch pirate up here a year ago. To make sure nobody was home they rang the doorbell. Due to my elderly father's hearing problem, we have a doorbell that sounds like an air raid siren. Scared them so badly they drove off without the package.
Posted by Diseasefreeforall
Member since Oct 2012
5528 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 8:59 pm to
A few decades ago I lived in an apt complex without locking mailboxes and a neighbor would steal the mail.

I thought about filling some Rolos with antifreeze and putting a package with a bunch of them in my mailbox because I knew they were stoners but decided it might not be the best idea for my future. They got arrested for something not long after and thankfully disappeared for good.
Posted by Luke
1113 Chartres Street, NOLA
Member since Nov 2004
13413 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 9:50 pm to
Rattlesnake or cotton mouth in a box with packing peanuts….
Posted by shutterspeed
MS Gulf Coast
Member since May 2007
63327 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 9:57 pm to
Posted by BobMayonnaise
Memphis
Member since Feb 2009
1372 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 9:59 pm to
At least put one of the exploding color bombs in there like banks use so they can be identified or at least hassled.
Posted by jnethe1
Pearland
Member since Dec 2012
16143 posts
Posted on 9/27/22 at 10:17 pm to
Well I now know how to ensure they return. Great for planning.
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