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Man gets his wife roses for Valentine's Day

Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:18 am
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
20149 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:18 am
Wife says "I guess I have to open my legs". Man says "Why? Don't we have a vase"?
Posted by Kafka
I am the moral conscience of TD
Member since Jul 2007
142023 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:21 am to
Did he say "vace" or "voz"?

It's important
Posted by Horsemeat
Truckin' somewhere in the US
Member since Dec 2014
13536 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:21 am to
Posted by PocketAces
Member since Apr 2015
2207 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:22 am to
Meh
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
65779 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:32 am to

She offered him tulips...
Posted by GeorgeTheGreek
Sparta, Greece
Member since Mar 2008
66445 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:39 am to
You and Latarian coming to my football tailgate next year?
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
65779 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:42 am to

We'll host you in Fayetteville. Up for that?
Posted by Kujo
225-911-5736
Member since Dec 2015
6015 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:45 am to
What's the difference between Danilo and a Calendar?

The Calendar has a date for Valentine's day

Posted by GeorgeTheGreek
Sparta, Greece
Member since Mar 2008
66445 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:47 am to
Sure, about time yall repay.
Posted by Kujo
225-911-5736
Member since Dec 2015
6015 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:47 am to
What does Danilo get for Valentine's Day?

Depressed
Posted by GeorgeTheGreek
Sparta, Greece
Member since Mar 2008
66445 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:48 am to
Singles Awareness Day
Posted by Kujo
225-911-5736
Member since Dec 2015
6015 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:52 am to
Danilo planned a threesome for Valentine's Day

but the couple was a no show
Posted by O
Mandeville
Member since Oct 2011
6460 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:53 am to
Posted by Kujo
225-911-5736
Member since Dec 2015
6015 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:54 am to
quote:

Singles Awareness Day



Danilo is single by choice

but not his choice
Posted by danilo
Member since Nov 2008
20149 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 12:56 am to
I have two hands bro
Posted by genro
Member since Nov 2011
61788 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 1:28 am to
Don't be sad that no one loves you on Valentine's

No one loves you any other day either
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92876 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 1:31 am to
Man gets his his wife something 9 inches long, purple, shoves it down her throat and makes her gag.

It's her stillborn!

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!
Posted by O
Mandeville
Member since Oct 2011
6460 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 1:39 am to
Posted by HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Member since Jul 2011
29545 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 1:40 am to
So when he's munchin her carpet that evening, he says "My god you've got a big pussy. My god you've got a big pussy!"

She asks him "why'd you have to say it twice?"

He says "I didn't"

Posted by Canard Noir
Houston
Member since Apr 2014
1397 posts
Posted on 2/14/16 at 2:00 am to
Sheesh.. I want to laugh.. I did... Thank god I'm drunkernshit...
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