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BallCoachinFool
USA Fan
Member since Dec 2012
2088 posts

I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
Back in college, I slept with this girl a few times over a month time period. She claimed to be pregnant. We had planned on not having the child because we were both poor college kids and we felt we could not afford a child and we did not want to give it up for adoption.
I organized the appointments and had it all ready to go. Day before she is supposed to go in for her 1st appointment, she tells me her aunt is taking her to have the abortion and there is nothing else for me to do.
Several months later she is seen around town, obviously still pregnant. I ask her about it and she says, "this is a different child."
All while this is going on she is telling her mother and her family that she was gang raped and does not know who the father is. Her mother wants to pursue the rape allegations and my name comes up. There are witnesses that tell her mother that this girl was NOT raped and she was just covering her sexual escapades. Mom is still on my arse like a coon dog.
I am promised by the girl that this is NOT my child and now she has convinced me that this child is a product of a rape.
I am advised by an attorney as well as family to get the hell away from this girl and do not contact her because my contact will make myself appear more guilty. I listen and separate myself from the situation.
4 or 5 years down the road I see a picture of this child. There is no doubt he is my seed. Same everything, you could put my childhood pictures in with his and it would be difficult to tell who was who to a stranger. So I contact the girl via facebook. I ask if the child is mine because he looks just like me. She assures me that this child is not my child and she tells me to leave her alone because she is married and if I continue to contact her she will file harrassment charges against me. So once again from my attorney and family I am told to remove myself from the situation.
Fast forward to this week. (about another 5 years) I find a message in my facebook "other" folder. It is from the child's stepdad. He wants to know if I know the girl because the child has figured out that this man is not his biological father. The message is from last october so my heart stops because I am worried this person feels I have ignored his message.
I get his phone number and we talk. The girl continued to lie to this man, saying she was raped and did not know who the father was during their entire marriage of almost 8 years.
Apparently during the divorce, she finally comes clean that she knows who this child belongs to.
After speaking to the step dad, it is obvious this girl has ruined this child's self esteem and he feels the only person that loves and wants him is his step dad. She told the child that his biological father hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.
The step dad is very thankful that we spoke. He and the mom have joint custody. The mother also does not want me anywhere near her child because she fears I will try to take him from her. I have no intentions of ruining this kids life. I just want to restore his self esteem and be the best man I can be for this child. The only time I will ever see him is when the step dad has him. I also do not want to steal his time because after all, that is "dad" do the boy.

I am going to meet my son for the first time during the month of May. My parents and I have set up a college fund for him so that maybe one day he can go to school. I am scared, nervous, excited and worried. I am asking for prayers and guidance by the lord.

Does anyone have any suggestions on the best way to approach the situation once I meet the boy? I have no clue what to say when he asks where have I been. I also do not want to run his mother's name through the mud because I don't need him resenting her too. I feel he will do that on his own once he realizes his mother lied and kept him from meeting this really cool family he could of had.

This is just another grenade in the dumpster fire I call life. Thank you for your time.


BallCoachinFool
USA Fan
Member since Dec 2012
2088 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
Update -
Kid is awesome, very sweet and everyone knows he is a blessing.
The step dad and I have become great buddies and are doing everything we can to help the little guy get through the BS his mother and I set him up for.
I went out and met him in June, spent the day swimming, playing arcade games and talking. He was obviously very shy at first. However, he warmed up and has become my online pen-pal. We message each other almost daily and when he is with his dad, he calls me and we discuss school and ninja turtles. When we first started talking, I mentioned college, he looked at me like I was crazy. However, now after several discussions and many seeds being placed, he is starting to ask about how college works and if he can go. He is extremely smart so this is something that will happen.
He and I went to my parents house during labor day weekend. I took him to the family farm and he is a hell of a shot for a rookie. He was blasting bulls eye after bulls eye shortly into his lesson. Which was awesome because he is not very confident, so to see him smile was another blessing.
He and I also share October as our birthday month. I sent him a drone to hook up a cell phone to a record video as he flies it. He has send me several clips of him flying it. He also got a football and now his dad has a rule that they must go outside and play for at least an hour a day. He has already lost a lot of the weight he put on due to the stress of his dad and mom getting a divorce.
He also came down for a family Christmas. Mom put on a great show, we had gifts under the tree, big christmas dinner and the family didn't argue once. It was truly a Christmas miracle.
For Christmas the boy got 2 pair of shoes, his own 22, a hunting knife, a new baseball glove and $100 bill. Watching his eyes light up as he unwrapped gifts was awesome. So awesome it angers me that I allowed myself to be absent for so long.
After contacting an attorney, we have no rights. Once a child is adopted you have 6 months to appeal, well we obviously were not around for this which is understandable. The good news is he wants to leave his mom's house and live with his dad. So next year, his mother and his dad will go back to court to hopefully get him moved to his house.
Mom proves she is a piece of work again by leaving husband, getting knocked up within 2 weeks and marrying her new baby daddy. Here is how she announced to the boy she was getting married. During school registration she says "I am putting ________ name on the list to pick you up because he and I are getting married." Thats it, no warning, no talking about it, just embarrass the kid right in front of those registering him. I contacted the mom to tell her I wanted to bury the hatchet and help her as well as the boy transition into this new phase of all our lives. She hung up, blocked me and changed her number within the hour. Glad I got with this one.
In addition to college fund, I have set up a life insurance policy that once I pay off will take excess money and put into an account that I can cash out when he goes to college and I can give him for whatever else he needs.
My girlfriend obviously lost her mind when this first went down. However, she is now on board and was part of the Christmas celebration. Her and the boy really hit it off, which is awesome because his mom is not a great female figure in his life. I am so glad this appears to be coming together much nicer than expected.
After many prayers, tears and questions, it appears this is what I needed to help myself grow up. I have gotten closer with the lord, I now only have a couple drinks socially and have started taking care of myself.
I appreciate those who commented the last time. I needed to be verbally abused as well as lifted up. Both types of statements helped me understand what was going on and what I needed to do.
We all make decisions that we regret later in life. Sometimes we get to make up for them, hopefully I am on the right track because it feels good to know I am a positive influence in this young mans life.


Navajo61490
LSU Fan
Baton rouge
Member since Dec 2011
4016 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
damn, sounds like a ton of OT posters are so degenerate they didn't want to tell anyone they were the father

guess yall were slump busters


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Juiceboxwiggle
Duke Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2016
114 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
you know, if i was a betting man i would bet that this is a troll of the ages. idk whether to say congrats or stare blankly. nevertheless, good luck


Hangover Haven
LSU Fan
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
5699 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
Had a guy I use to work for found out he had a 10 y/o son...

Mom showed up at the door with the kid, after he'd already been married for about 8 years. There was no denying, the kid looked just like him...


Copied and pasted from the other thread..


diat150
Tulane Fan
OPELOUSAS
Member since Jun 2005
25773 posts
 Online 

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
tough situation. Just tell him the truth, he has been lied to enough.

seems like I read that exact same story on here a while back.
This post was edited on 1/3 at 10:04 am


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iAmBatman
USA Fan
The Batcave
Member since Mar 2011
7155 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
TL;dr and neither will anyone else


TheAlmightySmash
LSU Fan
New Orleans
Member since Jun 2014
3864 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
Do none of yall ever wrap your willy?


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160
Bourre'
New Orleans Saints Fan
Da Parish
Member since Nov 2012
6809 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
In



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upgrayedd
Lamar Fan
White-manning in metro BR
Member since Mar 2013
58789 posts
 Online 

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
The OT's pullout game is weaker than expected


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NewIberiaHaircut
LSU Fan
Lafayette
Member since May 2013
6983 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update


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168
BallCoachinFool
USA Fan
Member since Dec 2012
2088 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
Promise this is not a troll, I updated original post hoping it would bring it to the front page. It did not so I started a new one.


Salmon
USA Fan
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
54965 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
nobody believes you

you are a proven liar multiple times over


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88
Winston Cup
San Antonio Spurs Fan
Member since May 2016
10335 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
What are you some kind of character in a book?


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RandySavage
Auburn Fan
Member since May 2012
18073 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
Good on ya, it's a rough situation but I'm glad you're trying to make the best of it now.

Hope for the best for you and your son.


Solicitor
Virginia Fan
Member since Nov 2013
245 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
I read it all.


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110
LSUTANGERINE
Southern Cal Fan
Baton Rouge LA
Member since Sep 2006
36107 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
I don't think you asked. But I don't believe you owe any child support or will have to pay any. I am not saying you're trying to get out of paying for anything for your child. If there are any attorneys that know differently or the same, please correct or confirm.


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OysterPoBoy
LSU Fan
BR
Member since Jul 2013
7478 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
It's probably easier to find out you have a 10 year old son than to read all that.


Placebeaux
LSU Fan
Putting the Panic back in Hispanic
Member since Jun 2008
38629 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
He said I dont call him daddy but he takes care of things.


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Juiceboxwiggle
Duke Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2016
114 posts

re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Original Post and Update
im more alarmed by the fact that you took time out of your day to write a novel on the TD


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