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How many OTers have lost both parents?
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:11 pm
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:11 pm
I am thankful that mine are still with me, but reality is setting in and they are both starting to have significant health problems. They won't be here forever, as much as I hate to even think about it. My GF has lost both hers and she still has trouble dealing with it a couple of years after losing her last parent.
This bothers me more than the thought of my own mortality. When I am gone, I will be gone. When they are gone (hopefully not for a long, long time) I will still be here, and an orphan. A grown man, but an orphan.
Even if you've been on your own for years, you always have in the back of your mind that you have a "home." And it's not there any more.
How do you get through that?
Kind of a serious topic for the OT, but now and then some good discussions break out here.
This bothers me more than the thought of my own mortality. When I am gone, I will be gone. When they are gone (hopefully not for a long, long time) I will still be here, and an orphan. A grown man, but an orphan.
Even if you've been on your own for years, you always have in the back of your mind that you have a "home." And it's not there any more.
How do you get through that?
Kind of a serious topic for the OT, but now and then some good discussions break out here.
19
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:16 pm to Jim Rockford
I haven't lost my parents but I have lost others close to me. It's always tough. Even as a Christian knowing I'll see them again one day, it's still a really tough thing. Just try to show your love to them as much as you can and enjoy your time with them.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:19 pm to Jim Rockford
Both my wife and I have lost both parents and are orphans as you say. My wife's mom and dad went within a couple of years within each other which was tough. It is still hard for us, we did a lot of things with them and they were very close to our kids. Hard to believe sometimes....
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:26 pm to Mattwells90
I've lost both of mine. My mother passed first. She was sick for along time. I love her so much and hated to see her suffer. I was out of town and got the call in the middle of the night. Will never forget. My dad passed a year ago. He was 89 and strong as a bull until about a month before he died. We were shocked. He was the rock of the family and so loved by everyone that knew him. He had the type of personality that one just assumed he would last forever.
I still have a large family and we all remain extremely close but I miss them both so much. At the risk of sounding cliche to those that still have your parents love them, spend time with them and never take them for granted. Do this and you will have peace when their time comes.
I still have a large family and we all remain extremely close but I miss them both so much. At the risk of sounding cliche to those that still have your parents love them, spend time with them and never take them for granted. Do this and you will have peace when their time comes.
This post was edited on 2/25/15 at 11:28 pm
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:27 pm to Jim Rockford
Scares the hell out of me.
My father just lost his mother last year (his last parent). My mom lost her father as a kid and her mother 15 years ago. She was 50 and fell into a deep depression that lasted about two years. It was rough.
My father just lost his mother last year (his last parent). My mom lost her father as a kid and her mother 15 years ago. She was 50 and fell into a deep depression that lasted about two years. It was rough.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:31 pm to Jim Rockford
I lost my Dad when I was seventeen.
I'll tell you, it was real tough because he had some alcohol problems for most of his adult life.
but he had quit drinking a few years before he died.
my parents were divorced but getting to know my dad sober was awesome. He was always supportive in everything I did when he drank but he was real self destructive. I don't want to get into it but the hurt I felt when he died was the worst.
not a day goes by where I don't think about him.
Each time I ever have any kind of self doubt creep in or a negative thought... he's there to pick me up. He always believed in me and still does in spirit.
I'll tell you, it was real tough because he had some alcohol problems for most of his adult life.
but he had quit drinking a few years before he died.
my parents were divorced but getting to know my dad sober was awesome. He was always supportive in everything I did when he drank but he was real self destructive. I don't want to get into it but the hurt I felt when he died was the worst.
not a day goes by where I don't think about him.
Each time I ever have any kind of self doubt creep in or a negative thought... he's there to pick me up. He always believed in me and still does in spirit.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:43 pm to Jim Rockford
Lost my dad when I was 14 my mom is unhealthy and I'm scared I'm gonna lose her. Especially considering my younger siblings are 10 and 12
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:44 pm to Jim Rockford
Both of mine are still alive.
Very thankful for this. They're good people.
Very thankful for this. They're good people.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:45 pm to Jim Rockford
Both of my parents have Alzheimer's right now. It is very difficult to see them declining rapidly at this time and remembering them the way they were. I think it helps if you have children which we do not. I understand the feeling of being an orphan and they are still with me but not mentally. They just can't teach you these things in school. Each moment with them is so precious now. I may have one more year with both of them. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever been through.
This post was edited on 2/25/15 at 11:47 pm
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:46 pm to LooseCannon22282
My grandmother came from a large family. She died back in the eighties, but her youngest sister, my great aunt, died just a few years ago. At the funeral for her only remaining sibling, my dad reminded her she was the last of that generation, and "you are the matriarch now." She said, "but I'm the baby of the family!" The way she said it was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:47 pm to TbirdSpur2010
Man that's got to be tough when ones patents die when the children are young. Both of my parents lived way past the average life span.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:49 pm to Jim Rockford
quote:
I think it helps if you have children which we do not.
Yeah, I don't have kids either and this worries me. At least you have something else to focus on when you have kids.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:51 pm to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
fell into a deep depression that lasted about two years. It was rough.
My GF is in this situation now. She has good days and bad days. She had a good stretch around the holidays then after the first of the year has hit a bad patch.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:53 pm to Jim Rockford
Day I lose my mom will be the day I lose my shite. I feel sorry for others in my wrath if I was to just not give a frick anymore. My dad is awesome as well but my mom is everything to me.
Couldn't imagine losing either brother or my nephew either.
Man frick death.
I know this is selfish but I pray to God I can go before any of the people Ive mentioned.
Couldn't imagine losing either brother or my nephew either.
Man frick death.
I know this is selfish but I pray to God I can go before any of the people Ive mentioned.
Posted on 2/25/15 at 11:55 pm to SuperSaint
quote:
I know this is selfish but I pray to God I can go before any of the people Ive mentioned.
I think about this too, TBH. But it would hurt them and I wouldn't want that either.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 12:09 am to Jim Rockford
quote:
The way she said it was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard.
not grieving properly was also a big. I was some tough high school football player when my dad died and I buried my emotions.
big mistake.
One thing I wish I could take back about my actions... not push my family/friends away. I developed a Me vs. the World attitude after he died which was stupid.
like I was the first person to ever lose a parent.. I was selfish.
I don't know if you ever want to have regrets but that was a big one for me. It was the biggest learning experience ever.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 12:16 am to Jim Rockford
Both of my parents are dead, Dad in '89 and Mom in '96. They are shades to me now.
It sucks although I was adult for both of their deaths and was able to concentrate on raising my own kids to help work through the pain.
I don't let myself get jealous of others who still have vital parents but being around them together for me is sometimes a sad situation.
I miss the shared wisdom and unconditional love that good parents give.
All I can do is try to be as good of a parent as I can be for my own kids and help their peers in appropriate ways.
It sucks although I was adult for both of their deaths and was able to concentrate on raising my own kids to help work through the pain.
I don't let myself get jealous of others who still have vital parents but being around them together for me is sometimes a sad situation.
I miss the shared wisdom and unconditional love that good parents give.
All I can do is try to be as good of a parent as I can be for my own kids and help their peers in appropriate ways.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 1:09 am to Jim Rockford
Lost both parents in a car accident a couple weeks after my first birthday. Obviously, I have no memory of either of them whatsoever. I was raised by my maternal grandmother who, for all intents and purposes, is the only parent I've ever had. Growing up my brother and I even called her "momma". She died when I was 14. After that I was pretty much on my own most of the time.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 1:11 am to LooseCannon22282
quote:That is pretty common from what i have seen.
I developed a Me vs. the World attitude after he died which was stupid.
Posted on 2/26/15 at 1:23 am to Jim Rockford
Lost My Dad 36 years ago, and still dream about him pretty often, My Mom is still living, but getting up there in age too.
I think about that a lot,gonna be a lost feeling for sure.
I think about that a lot,gonna be a lost feeling for sure.
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