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LNCHBOX
LSU Fan
70001
Member since Jun 2009
27220 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage

quote:

It's nice to be free to do what you want with your own money. What kind of adult wants to have to ask for permission to spend what they earned? frick that shite.



You're not big on marriage, so I don't expect you to understand. Deciding to he a team in life means having to communicate and sharing your plans with your spouse. And your money becomes y'all's money. That's part of being married.


LSUzealot
New Orleans Saints Fan
Napoleon and Magazine
Member since Sep 2003
57393 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

I pay for that out of my company account so I can expense it



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WikiTiger
LSU Fan
Member since Sep 2007
40721 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

I agree with you. But if you don't marry someone who is ridiculous with their purchases, I don't think it'd be a big deal.


But there's always subtle annoyance at others spending. I think my lady friend spends way too much on clothes and shoes. But frick it, it's her money so I can't say jack shite. If it was coming out of a joint account, I can see it causing problems in the relationship.

And the same goes for me and all my geeky stuff, computer parts, bitcoin purchases, etc. She doesn't see any value to all that and she would probably get annoyed seeing that coming out of a joint account too.

Separate accounts. Separate interests. Etc. We both feel it's important to have a life outside of each other, and that includes being able to finance it.


LNCHBOX
LSU Fan
70001
Member since Jun 2009
27220 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

In situations where one SO makes more bread than another, I think each should put the exact same percentage of their income in the joint account. Ie - man makes 100k he puts 30k joint Woman makes 50k she puts 15k in joint


Or you could just put it all in one account and have open communication, just like you would with any other aspect of a healthy and successful marriage.


TexasTiger05
LSU Fan
Member since Aug 2007
28223 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

bitches and money


Pipe down, we live overseas. I need to make sure Oon Doo Goo or whatever random Nigerian isn't stealing money. It's just habit from college I guess.

Good thing I check too, I was able to get a fraudulent purchase taken care of within the hour.


HoustonChick86
Arizona Fan
Catalina Wine Mixer
Member since Dec 2009
44525 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
The percentage thing makes more sense to me than same $ amount.


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WikiTiger
LSU Fan
Member since Sep 2007
40721 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

In situations where one SO makes more bread than another, I think each should put the exact same percentage of their income in the joint account.

Ie - man makes 100k he puts 30k joint
Woman makes 50k she puts 15k in joint


I can see this being a good system too. It really all just depends on what the couple agrees to. Personally we chose the equal contribution approach. Others may do it by percentage.


WikiTiger
LSU Fan
Member since Sep 2007
40721 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:


You're not big on marriage, so I don't expect you to understand. Deciding to he a team in life means having to communicate and sharing your plans with your spouse. And your money becomes y'all's money. That's part of being married.


My stance on marriage is irrelevant to this discussion.

We've been together for a long time, we own property together, etc. For all intents and purposes, we are married, we just don't have a legal contract saying it.


buddhavista
Member since Jul 2012
3543 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

But there's always subtle annoyance at others spending. I think my lady friend spends way too much on clothes and shoes. But frick it, it's her money so I can't say jack shite. If it was coming out of a joint account, I can see it causing problems in the relationship.

Sure, but that is part of being in a relationship - compromise. I think there is no model that works for everyone, especially when one person makes 3 or 4x as much as the other.

My wife's income probably wouldn't cover her personal expenses. she works part time, and that is a choice we made for us so she can do all the chores during the week and then our weekends are all fun.


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CurDog
LSU Fan
Member since Jan 2007
26220 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

Obviously in this day and age, this is no longer an issue, but I can understand that being an issue back in the day.


oh i have no doubt

quote:

This just seems like a waste of effort to me, but I'm certainly not trying to change your mind now lol.


i know. it has worked well for us for 16 of the 17 years we have been married.
our next biggest task is figuring out how to pay for two weddings


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LNCHBOX
LSU Fan
70001
Member since Jun 2009
27220 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

My stance on marriage is irrelevant to this discussion.


Actually it is.

quote:

We've been together for a long time, we own property together, etc. For all intents and purposes, we are married, we just don't have a legal contract saying it.


And yet you need to feel "liberated" with your finances. That's not a (for all intents and purposes) marriage, regardless if what you tell yourself.
This post was edited on 1/18 at 11:40 am


LSUzealot
New Orleans Saints Fan
Napoleon and Magazine
Member since Sep 2003
57393 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Well in my SO's case, if we were to get married, she owns her business and is only in year 2. She works her arse off but naturally isn't making as much as me with a corporate stable job with full benefits and retirement.

I don't think it would be fair at all for her to have to work longer hours, have more bills (insurance, retirement) yet still contribute the same amount.

Who knows, in 5 years she may be the bread winner. I'm of the opinion to do what is most fair.


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CurDog
LSU Fan
Member since Jan 2007
26220 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

I need to make sure Oon Doo Goo or whatever random Nigerian isn't stealing money


good thing about living over there is you can go knock on his door and get your money back


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jojothetireguy
New Orleans Saints Fan
Live out in Coconut Grove
Member since Jan 2009
9433 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

So do you just not trust your wife to do that? My fiancee and I communicate about things we want to buy, so we haven't had anything to get mad about.

I just don't get the point of keeping it separate. Seems like a waste of time.


wiki pretty much summed it up. I trust her enough not to do something like that. Like i said it was an exaggerated circumstance. My point is, if she wanted to do it, then she could without saying. "hey you mind if i go shopping, do i have a limit?"
With her money, her limit is what she has and she doesn't have to ask me any questions about it. No adult wants to have to ask every time they want to go do something that may cost a little more than normal, or seem outrageous to the other person.
This post was edited on 1/18 at 11:41 am


LSUzealot
New Orleans Saints Fan
Napoleon and Magazine
Member since Sep 2003
57393 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

. We both feel it's important to have a life outside of each other, and that includes being able to finance it.


Sounds like you need to meet shortyrob IRL


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LNCHBOX
LSU Fan
70001
Member since Jun 2009
27220 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

With her money, her limit is what she has and she doesn't have to ask me any questions about it. No adult wants to have to ask every time they want to go do something that may cost a little more than normal, or seem outrageous to the other person.


Just not seeing why communicating with your spouse is some inconvenience.


WikiTiger
LSU Fan
Member since Sep 2007
40721 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

And yet you need to feel "liberated" with your finances. That's not a (for all intents and purposes) marriage, regardless if what you tell yourself.



You don't own the definition of marriage. Your opinion on what it should be holds little water. Each couple should dictate their own terms.


TH03
Notre Dame Fan
Member since Dec 2008
103450 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:

We both feel it's important to have a life outside of each other, and that includes being able to finance it.


I know a few couples that do this. I don't see a problem with it, unless one is irresponsible and ends up bringing both of them into debt


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TexasTiger05
LSU Fan
Member since Aug 2007
28223 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
Our conversations about money aren't asking permission for things. It's more like "hey, this bike helmet is cool. It cost ____, cool if i get it?" It's more of a fyi than anything else.

I guess if we were not smart about money then it would be different, but both of us are, so no problems.


jojothetireguy
New Orleans Saints Fan
Live out in Coconut Grove
Member since Jan 2009
9433 posts

re: Having the "Money Talk" with the SO before marriage
quote:


Just not seeing why communicating with your spouse is some inconvenience.


it's not about not communicating, it's about why have to ask for something if you don't have to. With her money she can spend freely. Same as me. If i want a new tv that cost 2K and i have it, then i don't need to ask to go buy it. A new tv may seem stupid to her and not needed at the time. Same as say a new 100 dollar purse to me. She wants it, she can go buy it with her money without me putting up a fuss about spending that much for a purse. For us, our system works. It eliminates any potential to get in an arguement over money.


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