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Have you ever thought you were too hard or too easy on your kids?
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:24 pm
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:24 pm
Or have you perfected the balance?
16
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:25 pm to mpar98
quote:
perfected
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:25 pm to mpar98
None yet, but I am probably going to be much, much tougher on my children than my parents were on me. By the time I came around, they had a 8 and 12 year around. Being the youngest of three by a wide margin (and boys, especially) means they were too tired of shite to make me do anything.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:26 pm to mpar98
Yes.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:27 pm to ell_13
quote:
ell_13
I mean, this is the OT
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:29 pm to mpar98
quote:
Have you ever thought you were too hard or too easy on your kids?
All the time.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:29 pm to mpar98
I've messed up at times thinking my son should think or handle things the way I would. I've worked on that though. There are some things that I won't negotiate at all with him on though. Like his phone being tied to his grades.
With my daughters, it's been easy. They are more mature at a younger age.
With my daughters, it's been easy. They are more mature at a younger age.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:29 pm to mpar98
you've had a hard on for your kids? Why don't you have a seat over there...
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:30 pm to mpar98
All the time. Practically constantly.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:30 pm to mpar98
I have a two year old. I have high expectations for him because he is way past his peers in verbal skills. But that also means he's extremely stubborn and independent so I know I let him have too much freedom sometimes.
This post was edited on 2/11/16 at 1:31 pm
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:32 pm to mpar98
I've been a parent for 6 years now and I feel like it's the most important job I have.
I'm constantly questioning whether I was too tough/too soft. That balance that you mentioned is key. You can't be the cool dad all the time.
I'm constantly questioning whether I was too tough/too soft. That balance that you mentioned is key. You can't be the cool dad all the time.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:32 pm to mpar98
Every day--8 of them and I'm still as confused as I was on the first one.
Loretta Lynn--One needs a'kissin and one needs a'huggin,
Loretta Lynn--One needs a'kissin and one needs a'huggin,
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:33 pm to mpar98
I've raised a 22 year old and a 17 year old, both boys, to the best of my ability. I can only contribute that, because of my experience, I very much believe in nature over nurture.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:33 pm to StringedInstruments
Too hard on the oldest 2. Too easy on the 3 youngest, lol. So far the older ones seem to be more responsible. Any correlation there?
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:35 pm to mpar98
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:36 pm to mpar98
A few times in the past, I'd assumed incorrectly that my son understood my wishes.
Early on I realized that when he did something that was in contrast to my wishes it was typically a lack of understanding on his part. I'd punish him and then later on he would give me a perfectly reasonable explanation for what he did and why he did it. I usually came away feeling pretty horrible.
Now I try to be more patient and listen more. Last time it happened I told him I was sorry. His response "Don't worry about it, I'm a kid, these things happen".
He's six.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:39 pm to mpar98
here's one for ya,
mom used to let me pick the punishment!!!
but she was very very sweet, and I miss her dearly...
mom used to let me pick the punishment!!!
but she was very very sweet, and I miss her dearly...
This post was edited on 2/11/16 at 1:40 pm
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:42 pm to mpar98
Being a divorced father with visitation only, I tend to be too much friend and not enough hard-assed father.
So yeah, too easy.
So yeah, too easy.
Posted on 2/11/16 at 1:44 pm to mpar98
Mine are 17,15 and 12. The wife and I made the decision to parent through Socratic method when they were young kids.We walk them through stuff with reason and skepticism. Like my Dad did with me. We stay away from the Authoritarian screamy harsh crap. I've never spanked them. I've never needed to. We have lots of conversations and ask a lot of open-ended questions, the goal not being compliance but critical thinking. Anytime I mention that. a thousand self-styled board hard-asses call me names and lose their shite for some reason.
Even with POV stuff like religion and politics we try to let them find their way and walk them through it. The two oldest now do that as a matter of course, and the youngest is on her way. Disagreement on stuff is cool in my family, IF you can defend your position. They know they have to defend their choices and it keeps them on their toes.They have to be able to tell me WHY.
I figure I have them for 20 years or so at best. I want home to be a refuge from Real World crazy stress stuff.What my Mom deprived me of with all her flaky bull shite. I also want them to visit me when they are older and not feel like I was a jackass to them when they were kids.
Even with POV stuff like religion and politics we try to let them find their way and walk them through it. The two oldest now do that as a matter of course, and the youngest is on her way. Disagreement on stuff is cool in my family, IF you can defend your position. They know they have to defend their choices and it keeps them on their toes.They have to be able to tell me WHY.
I figure I have them for 20 years or so at best. I want home to be a refuge from Real World crazy stress stuff.What my Mom deprived me of with all her flaky bull shite. I also want them to visit me when they are older and not feel like I was a jackass to them when they were kids.
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