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JOTD

Centipede

So one morning a guy walks into a pet store. He tells the pet store owner "I want a pet but I want one that is utilitarian, and can help me do things. I am single and would love some extra help." The pet store owner says "you need a centipede. They will do anything. They are very loyal and understand instruction."


He takes home a centipede. Later, around noon the guy is relaxing in his recliner, the centipede is hanging out on the couch, the guys says "centipede, clean the living room." Within minutes the living room is spotless. A little bit later, the guy says "centipede, fix me a sandwich for lunch." The centipede goes into the kitchen and within minutes has a nicely constructed sandwich before the owner.


As the man starts to eat his sandwich, he realizes he has nothing to drink. He says "centipede, go to the end of the block, to the store and get me a soda." The centipede walks out of the house. An hour passes and the centipede is nowhere to be found. Knowing that the store is only a block away the man gets worried and decides to go find the centipede.


When the man opens his front door he sees the centipede on his front porch. The man says "Where have you been? I told you an hour ago to get me a soda? " The centipede says "Hey man, I am putting on my shoes."