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Started By
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Funeral Worker Robs House of Deceased to Steal Sex Doll
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:03 pm
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:03 pm
quote:
OCTOBER 13--A funeral home worker responsible for transporting dead bodies in a Nebraska county is suspected of having an intimate encounter with a life-sized sex doll he found in the apartment of a deceased person, according to court records.
quote:
Investigators say Ryan Smith, 41, and a colleague were dispatched last week to a home at the Rock Creek Apartments in Omaha to collect the body of an individual who died there.
"Near the body on the bed was a very real life size" sex doll, an investigator reported.
Police allege that Smith subsequently called the property manager and claimed that the local sheriff had asked him to remove the sex doll "to collect swabs for biopsy."
quote:
After Smith exited the home with his shirt untucked and his pants in "disarray," the property manager called cops, who later busted Smith on a felony burglary charge. A post-arrest examination revealed the sex doll to be "sticky" and it appeared that "something had rubbed her inner thighs," police noted.
A deputy collected the sex doll "so that I could have her processed for DNA."
47
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:04 pm to Shexter
That’s enough internet for today lol
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:05 pm to Shexter
Sheesh
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:05 pm to Shexter
There’s a dead lay joke here
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:05 pm to Shexter
Busted
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:05 pm to Shexter
You’ve reached a new low when you have to bang a dead guy’s sex doll. Just shoot the poor bastard and end his misery.
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:06 pm to Shexter
IWSI
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:06 pm to Shexter
he was just removing it to save the family from embarrassment... or at least that would be my alibi
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:06 pm to fr33manator
Looks like he would do it again.
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:09 pm to Long Ball Larry
quote:
Looks like he would do it again.
Wait. Thats not the sex doll?
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:09 pm to Shexter
Dude must have read the Best Stain Remover thread above this one before committing the act.
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:10 pm to Shexter
quote:
After Smith exited the home with his shirt untucked and his pants in "disarray," the property manager called cops, who later busted Smith on a felony burglary charge. A post-arrest examination revealed the sex doll to be "sticky" and it appeared that "something had rubbed her inner thighs," police noted.
Wait...what was stolen? The doll's dignity?
And the bolded phrase...they are making the pervert a thing, but the inanimate doll a person?
Any good lawyer gets this thrown out. The guy moved some stuff around
quote:
A deputy collected the sex doll "so that I could have her processed for DNA."
This post was edited on 10/16/23 at 12:19 pm
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:11 pm to DeltaTigerDelta
Don’t care had sex?
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:11 pm to Long Ball Larry
Extra chromosome
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:11 pm to Long Ball Larry
Same family or both of them dropped as a baby?
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:11 pm to Shexter
Nebraska has entered the Florida Man contest.
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:12 pm to Shexter
At least she doesn’t have tattoos or piercings.
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:14 pm to Shexter
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:15 pm to Shexter
No harm no foul.
Posted on 10/16/23 at 12:16 pm to Shexter
Sorry for partying?!?
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