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Started By
Message
am i wrong for spending money this way?
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:26 pm
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:26 pm
My mom died suddenly last month. I am in charge of her finances and dealing with her final wishes and ashes. My husband feels that I am wrong for dealing with everything. I feel I am doing what my mom wanted.
We talked about it a lot and she was amused at what people can do with cremains these days. My husband also feels it is wrong that we split moms ashes as he feels that is sacrilegious.
My husband is upset that I have spent thousands (about 25k in 2 months) on moms care (before she died) gifts for my moms kids, grand-kids and great grand-kids so that they have a keepsake of their gram.
I also have bought Christmas presents for them so they have one last gift from mom at Christmas. These gifts are expensive things such as engraved watches for the boys, gold charm bracelets for the girls, handmade glass paperweights with mom's ashes in them and other such items.
I have also paid off my sister's medical debts, paid other bills for relatives in need, paid the travel expenses for my sibs to come in for the memorial, etc.
My husband feels this is a waste of money and is sacrilegious that we are dealing with mom's remains this way.
Mom left the money in an acct with her name and mine on it so it is mine to do with as i please. My husband feels the money should go to me (and him) too buy things he wants. I say it is mine and i will spend it as I damn well please.
BTW - I bought my husband a truck, a few guns, a watch, etc. He has not been neglected in all of this.
79
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:28 pm to gingerkittie
Did your mother make it to the after life?
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:28 pm to gingerkittie
Sounds like he's a douche. Drop the zero and come to a hero 
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:28 pm to gingerkittie
Sounds like your mom was an OT baller. It doesn't seem like you're hurting for money so why not enjoy it.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:29 pm to gingerkittie
How much we talking here?
like 500k?
like 500k?
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:29 pm to gingerkittie
Your husband is a douche
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:29 pm to gingerkittie
Spending money just to spend it always seems like the right move.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:29 pm to gingerkittie
quote:
Mom left the money in an acct with her name and mine on it so it is mine to do with as i please
Based on your actions, that's probably why your mother left you in charge. She knew what you would do.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to gingerkittie
He can suck it. You're allowed to honor your mother's wishes & spend it as you see fit, especially when that includes things that benefit him.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to gingerkittie
You can spend it however you feel is right. It is your money. When you buy something for your husband, it becomes community property. My advice is save the rest for when you want something.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to gingerkittie
Its your money, you can do what you want.
However, call me old fashioned but if it is an inheritance, then it is both yours and your husband's money, so he should have some say.
I am fortunate enough to have had a financial advisor tell me one time that smart money decisions start with planning for the next generation, and dumb ones begin with planning for Saturday night.
However, call me old fashioned but if it is an inheritance, then it is both yours and your husband's money, so he should have some say.
I am fortunate enough to have had a financial advisor tell me one time that smart money decisions start with planning for the next generation, and dumb ones begin with planning for Saturday night.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to gingerkittie
Sounds like your husband needs to mind his own business and stop acting like he's your wife.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to gingerkittie
Sorry for your loss but damn that's a lot of spending. How about tuition accounts for the grandkids. That'll go a lot further than a watch or bracelet. Unless that is already set up?
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:31 pm to gingerkittie
Are you hoping everyone will reply in your favor, you let/make him read this, and then things will be resolved between the two of you?
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:31 pm to TigerintheNO
quote:
Based on your actions, that's probably why your mother left you in charge. She knew what you would do.
This right here.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:31 pm to gingerkittie
Sorry, but your hubby sounds like a bitch. You seem to be doing the right things. She was your mom, after all.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:31 pm to gingerkittie
Your husband sounds like a terrible person.
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:32 pm to anc
quote:
if it is an inheritance, then it is both yours and your husband's money
I don't think so, but I could be wrong. I did some research on this a few years ago.
When you spend the money, whatever you buy becomes community property but the money is yours.
This post was edited on 6/13/16 at 5:34 pm
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:32 pm to SabiDojo
I want a ball park figure of how much she started with. Jesus
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