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am i wrong for spending money this way?

Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:26 pm
Posted by gingerkittie
Member since Aug 2013
2675 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:26 pm

My mom died suddenly last month. I am in charge of her finances and dealing with her final wishes and ashes. My husband feels that I am wrong for dealing with everything. I feel I am doing what my mom wanted.

We talked about it a lot and she was amused at what people can do with cremains these days. My husband also feels it is wrong that we split moms ashes as he feels that is sacrilegious.

My husband is upset that I have spent thousands (about 25k in 2 months) on moms care (before she died) gifts for my moms kids, grand-kids and great grand-kids so that they have a keepsake of their gram.

I also have bought Christmas presents for them so they have one last gift from mom at Christmas. These gifts are expensive things such as engraved watches for the boys, gold charm bracelets for the girls, handmade glass paperweights with mom's ashes in them and other such items.

I have also paid off my sister's medical debts, paid other bills for relatives in need, paid the travel expenses for my sibs to come in for the memorial, etc.

My husband feels this is a waste of money and is sacrilegious that we are dealing with mom's remains this way.

Mom left the money in an acct with her name and mine on it so it is mine to do with as i please. My husband feels the money should go to me (and him) too buy things he wants. I say it is mine and i will spend it as I damn well please.

BTW - I bought my husband a truck, a few guns, a watch, etc. He has not been neglected in all of this.
Posted by Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
21500 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:27 pm to
Buy me something!
Posted by Bossier2323
Bossier CIty
Member since Sep 2014
1910 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:28 pm to
Did your mother make it to the after life?
Posted by The Pirate King
Pangu
Member since May 2014
57701 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:28 pm to
Sounds like he's a douche. Drop the zero and come to a hero
Posted by Brosef Stalin
Member since Dec 2011
39207 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:28 pm to
Sounds like your mom was an OT baller. It doesn't seem like you're hurting for money so why not enjoy it.
Posted by Codythetiger
Arkansas
Member since Nov 2006
27592 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:29 pm to
How much we talking here?

like 500k?
Posted by VermilionTiger
Member since Dec 2012
37586 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:29 pm to
Your husband is a douche
Posted by SmellslikeKevinBacon
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2012
6185 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:29 pm to
Spending money just to spend it always seems like the right move.
Posted by TigerintheNO
New Orleans
Member since Jan 2004
41199 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:29 pm to
quote:


Mom left the money in an acct with her name and mine on it so it is mine to do with as i please



Based on your actions, that's probably why your mother left you in charge. She knew what you would do.

Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11229 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to
He can suck it. You're allowed to honor your mother's wishes & spend it as you see fit, especially when that includes things that benefit him.
Posted by MBclass83
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
9361 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to
You can spend it however you feel is right. It is your money. When you buy something for your husband, it becomes community property. My advice is save the rest for when you want something.
Posted by anc
Member since Nov 2012
18080 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to
Its your money, you can do what you want.

However, call me old fashioned but if it is an inheritance, then it is both yours and your husband's money, so he should have some say.

I am fortunate enough to have had a financial advisor tell me one time that smart money decisions start with planning for the next generation, and dumb ones begin with planning for Saturday night.

Posted by WhoGeaux
Member since Apr 2011
4442 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to
Sounds like your husband needs to mind his own business and stop acting like he's your wife.
Posted by Lambdatiger1989
NOLA
Member since Jan 2012
2290 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:30 pm to
Sorry for your loss but damn that's a lot of spending. How about tuition accounts for the grandkids. That'll go a lot further than a watch or bracelet. Unless that is already set up?
Posted by CorkSoaker
Member since Oct 2008
9784 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:31 pm to
Are you hoping everyone will reply in your favor, you let/make him read this, and then things will be resolved between the two of you?
Posted by CajunSoldier225
Member since Aug 2011
8990 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:31 pm to
quote:

Based on your actions, that's probably why your mother left you in charge. She knew what you would do.


This right here.

Posted by Jet12
Tweet, tweet, tweet, two steps.
Member since Nov 2010
20554 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:31 pm to
Sorry, but your hubby sounds like a bitch. You seem to be doing the right things. She was your mom, after all.
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83937 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:31 pm to
Your husband sounds like a terrible person.
Posted by MBclass83
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
9361 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:32 pm to
quote:

if it is an inheritance, then it is both yours and your husband's money


I don't think so, but I could be wrong. I did some research on this a few years ago.

When you spend the money, whatever you buy becomes community property but the money is yours.
This post was edited on 6/13/16 at 5:34 pm
Posted by Bama and Beer
Baldwin Co, AL
Member since Oct 2010
80897 posts
Posted on 6/13/16 at 5:32 pm to
I want a ball park figure of how much she started with. Jesus
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