Am I Dead...or Dying?

Hey, all you cool cats and kittens...

fricking coronavirus.

Every time I cough or have the slightest tightness in my chest I think I'm gonna wind-up in a NYC or New Orleans hospital surrounded by other highly infectious people who are struggling to live.

So, I go and get our trusty forehead thermometer to soothe my fears...no fever...no death. Problem is, each time I take my temp, I'm consistently in the 96 degree range. I've tested it on the wife and kid...both normal 98 degree ranges, so why the frick am I always around 96?

I'm chalking-up the cough and tightness to allergies for the moment - especially after the nice extended walk the wife and I had around the neighborhood golf course yesterday (humble brag) while keeping our social distance from others.

Anyway, has anyone else had similar issues with the forehead thermometers? Are there other ice people out there like me...or am I a lone wolf here...and my core temperature is reversing, and thus I will turn into a block of ice (which I'm quite certain will make some of you happy, or at least my serial downvoter that always finds me).