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Adoption Assistance - Home Study Recommendations

Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:03 pm
Posted by Twitterpatted
Member since Nov 2012
14 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:03 pm
Good afternoon :)
My husband and I are starting the process for adoption. We have met with DCFS and Catholic Charities and have decided that we prefer to go forth with an Independent Adoption over these routes. Our first step before we can do ANYTHING is to complete our Home Study. Do any of you have any recommendations of who we can go through to get this accomplished? We live in the Baton Rouge area. Thank you in advance!!
Posted by musick
the internet
Member since Dec 2008
26125 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:04 pm to
Posted by maisweh
Member since Jan 2014
4066 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:16 pm to
get rid of any pitbulls in the house and be prepared to shell out a lot of money.
embryo adoption was much cheaper for us.
Posted by Twitterpatted
Member since Nov 2012
14 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:23 pm to
LOL well we don't have any pitbulls ;) I don't have any concerns whatsoever that we will pass with flying colors. We just need to find someone to DO the home study.

I actually had an offer from someone to donate their remaining fertilized embryos to us, but I can't carry a child. Thank you for the suggestion though!
Posted by musick
the internet
Member since Dec 2008
26125 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:25 pm to
quote:

I actually had an offer from someone to donate their remaining fertilized embryos


Posted by SmellslikeKevinBacon
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2012
6185 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:29 pm to
Posted by Hangover Haven
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
26610 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:38 pm to
Why don't you go through Family Services and look into fostering to adopt... There's lots of kids out there who need a good home... There's chances to adopt babies as well...

Link
This post was edited on 9/9/15 at 2:39 pm
Posted by Motorboat
At the camp
Member since Oct 2007
22685 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:49 pm to
quote:

Why don't you go through Family Services and look into fostering to adopt... There's lots of kids out there who need a good home... There's chances to adopt babies as well...



jesus man. It's not like she took her decision lightly.
Posted by DrunkenStuporMan
The Mothership
Member since Dec 2012
5855 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:51 pm to
quote:

Do any of you have any recommendations of who we can go through to get this accomplished?
quote:

We live in the Baton Rouge area.
Move.

ETA: I kid. Good for you deciding to do this.
This post was edited on 9/9/15 at 2:54 pm
Posted by mostbesttigerfanever
TD platinum member suite in TS
Member since Jan 2010
5016 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 2:53 pm to
quote:

Why don't you go through Family Services and look into fostering to adopt... There's lots of kids out there who need a good home... There's chances to adopt babies as well...


this has nothing to do with her question. Jeez, give the woman a break. She's doing a great thing either way
Posted by Hangover Haven
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
26610 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 3:04 pm to
quote:

this has nothing to do with her question. Jeez, give the woman a break. She's doing a great thing either way



Just showing her another route to adopt... didn't say she had to do it... Damn there's some critical Mo Fo's on this board...

Catholic Charities is over 30k to adopt... Private is over 50K.... Adopting through the state is free...

I guess I could've worded it a little better... It was just a suggestion...
This post was edited on 9/9/15 at 3:06 pm
Posted by Twitterpatted
Member since Nov 2012
14 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 3:17 pm to
I appreciate your suggestion and definitely feel there ARE lots of children who are out there that need a good home ... which is why we are adopting ... to give a child a good home. Regardless of whether the baby comes from the foster system or a private adoption, it is still a child that is in a situation where the birth parent is unwilling/unable to take care of him/her. And, as my post originally states, we DID look into DCFS (fostering to adopt), this is not a viable option for my family, for multiple reasons. Every foster to adopt child must be fostered for 365 days before they are eligible for adoption --- that means that there is a possibility that I can love and accept a child as mine for 364 days and on that 365th day, the biological parent that the child was taken from can decide to get their act together. I don't know about you, but that is NOT something that we, as a family, can handle. Also, the wait time for a HEALTHY newborn infant (which ultimately every parent wants for their child), is very high...you have to remember these children are in foster care for a reason. Most often times with infants it is because they had a mother that was a substance abuser. As much as I wish I COULD afford the cost/time to take care of a special needs child that has been diagnosed with an array of medical complications from this, my husband and I are not in positions to do so. And, lastly, there is no preparation time for a foster to adopt, if we get a call at 3:06 pm on a Wednesday, we have to be able to drop everything and accept that child or they move on to the next person on the list...I do not have a job wherein I can just call and say "hey by the way, I need to take 6-8 weeks maternity leave --- now". I WISH I were able to be a stay at home mom where this wouldn't be an issue, but the sad realty is that, like most mothers these days, I will not have that option.

Quick question to everyone in general (and I mean this with all of the kindness in my heart, as most of this has been posed by dear, dear friends/family)...what makes someone question a persons adoption plan vs the plans for a natural child? What makes the distinction to a person that it's okay to tell me what race/ethnicity/adoption service/country I should use/adopt from vs questioning a pregnant woman on her birthing choices?? Would you ask someone what their hospital bill was or whether there was a history of substance abuse/mental illness in their family? Would you question their preparation for their new child? I'm just perplexed how someone can view it socially acceptable to make comments like "oh no. are you sure you want to do that?" to an adopted parent vs. when a couple announces their natural pregnancy?
Posted by ATL-TIGER-732
ATL
Member since Jun 2013
2291 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 3:19 pm to
You need to be very careful with a private adoption. Selling kids is like selling anything else. The seller does not make any money unless the sale closes. They will misrepresent the "merchandise" to close the sale.

There are very few "guarantees" with private adoptions.

Private adoptions may seem like the easiest route at this time but are the highest risk! The other methods take longer to ensure you are not making a quick decision that you will regret later.

Thank you for wanting to give an unwanted child a loving home.
Posted by Twitterpatted
Member since Nov 2012
14 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 3:20 pm to
you kid...but I agree lol. Unfortunately, we can not move until AFTER the process is over, something about stability and all that nonsense ;)
Posted by Hangover Haven
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
26610 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 3:23 pm to
Sorry, didn't put 2 and 2 together with seeing your DCFS meeting...

Good luck with everything...
Posted by Twitterpatted
Member since Nov 2012
14 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 3:23 pm to
I appreciate your caution. I have a very close friend that is my attorney for the adoption process.

And just for the record it is against the law to sell a child. I am not purchasing a baby. I am paying legal fees to ensure the documents are done properly. The birth parents are not entitled to any money whatsoever.
Posted by mark65mc
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2007
11281 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 4:07 pm to
Mary Anne Abel did our home study. She is great.
Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
166321 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 4:12 pm to
are your initials mj?
Posted by JPH8115
Baton Rouge
Member since Feb 2006
131 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 4:30 pm to
send me an email jph8115@gmail.com we went through the process a couple of years ago. We were doing independent and ended up adopting through St. Elizabeth. I can get you the contact information for who did our home study. She was fantastic and easy to work with.
Posted by LSUgolf
Hogs ROLLED 34-30
Member since Feb 2004
4898 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 4:35 pm to
we used a local lawyer in west Monroe. We did a home study and everything went great. If you have more questions just ask here. and to those that say private adoptions are 50K plus your crazy. ours was private and was not even half of 50K so it can be done.

Our daughter is About to be 6 now. Right before she turned 5 we found we were pregnant. Our baby is & months old and walking.
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