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A short joke to help you get through Thursday
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:48 am
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:48 am
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:52 am to Street Hawk
Mickey Mouse gets a call from his lawyer, the lawyer tells him "Mickey I'm sorry, but you can't divorce Minnie just because she's crazy".
Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fricking Goofy".
Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fricking Goofy".
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:54 am to Street Hawk
I just bought the world's worst thesaurus.
It's not just terrible, it's terrible.
It's not just terrible, it's terrible.
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:41 pm to Displaced
quote:
I just bought the world's worst thesaurus.
It's not just terrible, it's terrible.
:slow onset chuckle:
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:45 pm to Street Hawk
What's a pirate's favorite pastime?
...
Rape.
...
Rape.
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:48 pm to Street Hawk
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't really know, but the flag... Its a plus.
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:49 pm to Street Hawk
*Husband walks into his house holding a chicken and sees his wife sitting on the couch*
Wife: "What the hell is that?!"
Husband: "You see, this is the fat cow I've been fricking"
Wife: "That's not a cow! That's a chicken!"
Husband: "Shut up bitch I wasn't talking to you"
Wife: "What the hell is that?!"
Husband: "You see, this is the fat cow I've been fricking"
Wife: "That's not a cow! That's a chicken!"
Husband: "Shut up bitch I wasn't talking to you"
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:49 pm to fr33manator
quote:
What's a pirate's favorite pastime? ... Rape.
The anti-joke thread is down the hall. This is for originally funny jokes only.
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:50 pm to Street Hawk
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" the old lady said.... "well,Not everybody pays."
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" the old lady said.... "well,Not everybody pays."
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:53 pm to jlu03
a pilot on a commercial flight alerts the passengers that they are having engine failures and will most likely crash. He wanted them all to spend their last few moments wisely.
A woman stands up and asks the passengers, "Is there a man on board that wants to make me feel like a woman one last time before we crash and possibly die?"
A man stands up and calmly unbuttons his dress shirt and hands it to her and says, "Iron this"
This post was edited on 5/12/16 at 1:56 pm
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