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A short joke to help you get through Thursday

Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:48 am
Posted by Street Hawk
Member since Nov 2014
3459 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:48 am
Posted by PuntBamaPunt
Member since Nov 2010
10070 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:52 am to
Mickey Mouse gets a call from his lawyer, the lawyer tells him "Mickey I'm sorry, but you can't divorce Minnie just because she's crazy".

Mickey says "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fricking Goofy".
Posted by willymeaux
Member since Mar 2012
4753 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:53 am to
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32702 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:54 am to
I just bought the world's worst thesaurus.

It's not just terrible, it's terrible.
Posted by Dirty Rascal
BR/Nola
Member since Sep 2014
1010 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 11:54 am to
Posted by epbart
new york city
Member since Mar 2005
2924 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:41 pm to
quote:

I just bought the world's worst thesaurus.

It's not just terrible, it's terrible.


:slow onset chuckle:
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
123923 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:45 pm to
What's a pirate's favorite pastime?

















...















Rape.
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
113896 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:48 pm to
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't really know, but the flag... Its a plus.
Posted by Al Dente
New Orleans, LA
Member since Feb 2014
156 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:49 pm to
*Husband walks into his house holding a chicken and sees his wife sitting on the couch*

Wife: "What the hell is that?!"

Husband: "You see, this is the fat cow I've been fricking"

Wife: "That's not a cow! That's a chicken!"

Husband: "Shut up bitch I wasn't talking to you"
Posted by TigerFanatic99
South Bend, Indiana
Member since Jan 2007
27478 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:49 pm to
quote:

What's a pirate's favorite pastime? ... Rape.


The anti-joke thread is down the hall. This is for originally funny jokes only.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
123923 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:49 pm to
Posted by jlu03
San Diego
Member since Jul 2012
3320 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:50 pm to
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" the old lady said.... "well,Not everybody pays."
Posted by Nado Jenkins83
Land of the Free
Member since Nov 2012
59599 posts
Posted on 5/12/16 at 1:53 pm to


a pilot on a commercial flight alerts the passengers that they are having engine failures and will most likely crash. He wanted them all to spend their last few moments wisely.

A woman stands up and asks the passengers, "Is there a man on board that wants to make me feel like a woman one last time before we crash and possibly die?"

A man stands up and calmly unbuttons his dress shirt and hands it to her and says, "Iron this"
This post was edited on 5/12/16 at 1:56 pm
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