Not even a Velvet Underground cover could save this set. Not even a segue into an incredibly boring rendition of 2001 could save this set. Oh, they tried, but they lost my trust long ago. I could barely hear their uninspired interpretation of Cavern over the sounds of crying wooks which honestly sounded like an entire zoo filled with animals being hit with tear gas. I pressed my hands onto my ears, just hoping Antelope would end, but NO, Trey was milking every opportunity he had to make that ear-piercing whale call.
And when it finally ended, that was that. The entire crowd was quiet. You could hear a wook dropping his Bic lighter it was so silent. I looked around, and everybody had the same expression as me. Slack-jawed and dumbfounded. Every mouth in sight hung open. Not even Antelope Greg was moving a muscle, and they'd just fricking played Antelope.
The encore break felt like an hour of absolute stillness. It was beautiful, in a way, in comparison to what we'd just witnessed. And when the band came back out for Hood, nobody cared. A few people started walking away at first, then a dozen, and exponentially the number of people exiting the venue grew. As the "jam" began to peak, so did the audience members' movement. By the time the band was singing the "Feel good about hood" refrain, people were running with fright. It was almost ironic - nobody was feeling very good. But how could they?
And yet I stood there, observing the chaos on stage, feeling people rushing by me at either side, absolutely amazed - because never before has there been such an awful performance on any stage in the history of the world. Period.
And as the band members played nonsense on their instruments at the very end of the tune, Trey stepped up to the microphone, a devilish grin on his face. And when he stared right into my eyes, he said "Thank you so much for having us, we love playing here." And I saw him laugh. I saw this aged, pale ginger, seemingly possessed by the devil himself, channeling his energy as his rusted, copper hair stood upward toward the sky, laughing hysterically. Of course they loved playing here. I'm beginning to think they love the sight of their fans running. I'm beginning to think they still tour because they actually receive pleasure from giving their fans pain simply through music.
Let me end this review with a quote. I believe it was Bob Marley who once said "One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."
Clearly, Marley has never listened to Phish.
I give this show a 2/10. Highlights: Tremors 4 was playing on the TV back in my hotel.