weekly m/tv board WOULD YOU RATHER...
Be a Pirate or a Samurai?
I'm going Samurai. I hate scurvy and I'd like that I can kick as much arse as possible. Besides, this could be one of those Monkey's Paw type trick questions where you think you're gonna be a cool pirate/pornstar like Long John Silver hijacking booty and feasting on mutton and ale with a cool parrot, but really you end up being one of those lame Somali pirates trying to take over cruiseships just before Navy SEALs blow your brains out from a mile away while you choke down some crappy mango gazpacho.
I'll be a badass samurai like Ryu from Streetfighter brandishing a cool sword and chuckin Hadokens at bitches.
Face-off a hungry alligator or panda?
Definitely a panda. You know how impossible it is to try to kill an alligator w/ a samurai sword? It's not happening. As long as I'm not a lame samurai w/ a bamboo staff, the panda won't stand a chance. And then, I could rid the world of another worthless panda. Seriously, pandas suck ass. Those frickers would go extinct if we didn't have to literally force them to mate.
Added bonus: It might be that goddamn Sexual Harassment Panda. That thing needs to die! Image: http://static.tvfanatic.com/images/gallery/sexual-harassment-panda-picture.gif
Have a hot wife with extremely boring sex or an ugly wife with unbelievable sex?
Whether I'm a pirate or a samurai I'm gonna be kind-of isolated. One of the main advantages of the hot wife is getting to show her off. That doesn't really happen w/ either lifestyle. One of the main drawbacks of the ugly wife is that others see you with her. So the main advantage to the hot wife is gone along w/ the main disadvantage of the ugly one. After a hard day's work as a panda-slaying samurai I want to have some mindblowingly great sex. I DGAF if she's a 4 as long as she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
Only be able to watch The Godfather pt. 1 or every Tyler Perry movie ever releasd
Definitely Godfather pt. 1. I'll use it as inspiration to turn my ugly wife into a movie star: Director doesn't put her in a movie, he finds the head of his prize panda in his bed the next morning. Then, once she's a movie starlet, some people will delude themselves into thinking my ugly wife is actually attractive. Hell, she might even make a Maxim list.
Oh, and besides that, Tyler Perry sucks arse and Godfather pt. 1 might be the greatest movie of all time so there's that too.
This post was edited on 9/9 at 4:19 pm