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The 15 Greatest Splits of Jean-Claude Van Damme
Posted on 8/11/15 at 11:04 am
Posted on 8/11/15 at 11:04 am
LINK
quote:
Why Did He Do the Splits? This is the first proper movie role of Van Damme’s career. His character is credited as “Gay Karate Man,” which is pretty wonderful. He’s in the movie for all of two and a half minutes. In his scene, he picks up a hitchhiking jewel thief played by Charles Pitt, tells him he has a nice body, then grabs his penis. After that, JCVD tries to kick him in face exactly 10 times. I didn’t look up whether or not he won an Oscar for this, but I have to assume that he did. I’m saying, Daniel Day-Lewis has won a Best Actor Oscar three times already, and he’s tried to kick precisely zero people in the face in his movies.
4
Posted on 8/11/15 at 11:23 am to BilJ
quote:
Daniel Day-Lewis has won a Best Actor Oscar three times already, and he’s tried to kick precisely zero people in the face in his movies.
I'd like to see it. It would be done in a more dramatic and impacting way. I could have seen it happening in There will be blood a couple of times.
Posted on 8/11/15 at 11:26 am to BilJ
quote:
How Did He Do the Splits? He simply dropped down into them. JCVD often used the splits as an evasive maneuver. I trust that games of peek-a-boo with him go the same way, too: He probably looks at a baby, smiles, disappears out of site by dropping down into the splits, then pops back up and coos, “Peek-a-boo!” JCVD is the BEST dad.
Posted on 8/11/15 at 11:30 am to BilJ
That whole thing is so full of win.
Posted on 8/11/15 at 11:32 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
Why Did He Do the Splits? Because he felt like it, that’s why. Again, he didn’t do a lot of talking, so he made up for it with moves like this. Like, OK, think of it like this: Let’s say you’re at a bar or something with your buddies. You’re having a good time and so on but then one of ’em comes back from the restroom like, “Yo, I’m about to fight this dude over here! Come watch my back.” You say, “Cool,” and then you follow behind him because that’s what you’re supposed to do. But then you get over there and there are two dudes: One who’s running his mouth at everyone and another one who’s completely quiet but is doing the splits on two barrels while throwing knives at the wall. Which one are you hoping he’s fighting?
Posted on 8/11/15 at 12:03 pm to BilJ
I'm laughing harder than I have in awhile.
I fricking LOVE how excited the writer is about this
quote:
Just as it strikes — THE MILLISECOND BEFORE IT REACHES HER THROAT — he grabs it with his left hand. She opens her eyes and nearly dies and a guitar screams in the background. The snake bucks. Van Damme almost smirks. Then he slaps it on the top of its head(!), punches it(!!) UNCONSCIOUS (!!!), BITES OFF ITS TAIL (!!!INFINITY!!!), then uses it as a booby trap that eventually bites the face of one of the men hunting him.
I fricking LOVE how excited the writer is about this
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