Gym, Tan, Yawning: Why We're So Over 'Jersey Shore'

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Okay, before you go labeling us "haterz," let us explain. We've been loyal viewers of "Jersey Shore" since the beginning, back when The Situation was just plain old Mike. And yes, the first two seasons of "Shore" were highly watchable, highly quotable reality-TV gold. But in Season 3, MTV's monster hit has seemingly run out of gas, becoming repetitive, tiresome, and (the most unforgivable sin for a reality show) dull as dirt. Here, we run down the ways "Shore" has lost our interest — and offer a few tips on how the show can win us back with the upcoming, Italy-based Season 4.

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The housemates are too famous for their own good

In just over a year, the "Shore" cast has rocketed to immense fame and fortune; even our moms know who Snooki is. Yet the show insists on pretending they're still just your average Jersey goofballs, so editors wipe any mention of the gang's notoriety off the show. As a result, "Shore" now feels strangely neutered, like we're not getting the whole story. We can only hope that sending the cast to Italy will help them blend in again and recapture some of that original spark — unless MTV Italia gets "Shore" already.

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They've been stuck inside all season

With the gang's overwhelming fame driving them behind closed doors, this season has played out like a claustrophobic Jersey version of "Big Brother." The housemates have been bored out of their minds, forced to kill time waging silly prank wars and unclogging toilets — not exactly compelling storylines. In fact, the season's only consistent source of drama has been so overplayed, we can't stand to watch it for another minute. Which leads us to our next point...

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We have Ronnie-and-Sammi fatigue

During yet another Ronnie-Sammi fight this season, Vinny commented, "This must be what hell is like." Amen, Vinny. After witnessing an infinite number of breakups and makeups (and a few hundred dollars' worth of broken furniture), we are more than ready to get off the Ronnie-Sammi rollercoaster. We all know bickering couples like that in real life; we'd just rather not spend an hour each week with them.

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The Situation has gone from "likable jerk" to just a jerk

When we first met him, Sitch's constant ab flashing and casual chauvinism seemed charming somehow. (Admit it, you liked him too.) But now that we've spent three seasons with the guy, we can say this without hesitation: The guy is a grade-A jerk. He treats the women he brings home like garbage, he brazenly lies about how many of those girls he's actually hooked up with, and he inserts himself into other people's drama to get more screen time. Now we know why everyone else in the house seems to hate him.

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They've ran out of catchphrases

We cherish the linguistic nuggets "Shore" has bestowed upon us thus far. Season 1 gave us "GTL" and "grenades"; Season 2 followed up with "T-shirt time" and "Cabs are here!" But sadly, it seems the Seaside quote machine is on the fritz this season; all we get now are tired retreads of their greatest hits. Can't MTV hire some writers to get in there and punch up the dialogue? Because the Shore Store needs some new phrases to iron onto their muscle Ts.

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Deena is no Angelina

Deena was insulted when Vinny called her "Angelina" in the finale, but the comment just made us realize how much we actually miss Angelina. Say what you want about the former housemate (it can't be worse than calling her "the Staten Island Dump"), but at least she brought some conflict to the otherwise lovey-dovey "Shore" house. Meanwhile, Deena started out promisingly enough but now has settled into a Snooki Lite role that doesn't add much to the show. Somebody please buy Angelina a first-class ticket to Italy; it'd be worth it just to see the look on the rest of the cast's faces.

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The show still hasn't established an interesting character outside the house

The "Shore" casting directors admittedly struck gold with the core cast, but it might help freshen things up if they could add a memorable non-roommate to the mix. Don't these people have friends in Jersey? (Or is MTV saving them all for the umpteen "Shore" spinoffs to follow?) The closest the show has come to establishing a decent supporting character is Vinny's lecherous Uncle Nino, who took a dip in the Jacuzzi with J-Woww and Snooki in Season 2. So let's get Nino a room in the Season 4 villa. He speaks Italian; maybe he could translate!

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