Coming off 3 bye weeks, Lsu is matched up against the Eagles of Auburn in week 4. The War Eagles are coming off a bye week, and will have extra time to prepare for the Tigers. The Eagles return a staggering 17 starters from their 2011 squad that finished 4-4 in the SEC, beating Florida, USC, Miss State, and Old Piss. At times last year, it seems that they layed down and let the better teams in the SEC have buttsecks with them, their cheerleaders, coaching staff, and immediate family members. Vs the upper end of the SEC, they were outscored 183-61 in four games against Lsu, AL, Georgia, and USC, going 1-3 in those games.
Gone, is Gus Malware, Qb Barrett Trotter, Dyer, all receivers except Emory Board... who's their best, 3 Offensive Linemen, and not much else. I see Trotter being the biggest loss, then OC Gus M. The biggest issue with Auburn this year is that they are extremely overrated at Rb, and that they don't have a Qb who has a fricking clue what to do with the ball once it's snapped. I look for a decent defensive team, remember they return 10 of the ponk bitches from last year who just got run over, passed all over, and generally rung up all season long. They have Onterio McCanada, who will have a terrible year, as the new #1 back, who will pretty much have to morph himself into Optimus Prime in 18-Wheeler form and have the new Eagles QB, Clint Mosely pitch the ball into the cab of the truck as he drives into the endzone for them to have any real chance of beating Lsu. It's a slim chance, but crazier things have happened. crazier thing example
Positional Breakdown: QB -
Mettsiah will smite any who compareth him to Clint Mosely, who isn't worthy of being in the same state as Mett on the same day, much less on the same field. If the Eagles fall behind, they'd do better suiting up Don Henly and throwing him to the lions than having Mosely. Mosely throws about as well as JJ, except he throws granny style, two hands, underhanded. And if that wasn't bad enough, he always has to throw into the wind, and uphill. RB-
Onterio McCanada is a good pass catching RB, but he wouldn't be leading the pack of backs at LSU. I'd rank them Hilliard, Ford, Ware, McCanada/Blue tied. But in effectiveness, it's a landslide in Lsu's favor. WR-
The Eagles have Emory Board, a 6'1" target, who can really play. And that's it. No other receiver's family has ever been to an Auburn game, and most's family thinks they are lying when they say they are even on the team. Lsu has two recievers that are better than Board, and several more who Board would slit his own mother's throat to have on his team. OL-
Auburn is another team rebuilding their OL, this time at BOTH tackles. While the center and guards are intact, those positions are held by two soph's and a senior. I see this as a major hurdle for Auburn, as it will be impossible for them to buy time to throw, or to run up the middle with Bennie Logan, The Freak, and one of the best ILB's in the league in the area, not to mention Loston in the box as well. Lsu, as I've said before, will be a wrecking crew on OL, and Auburn is going to get destroyed. Defense -
It comes down to numbers. Auburn gave up 28.9 PPG last year and returns damn near everyone. Lsu gave up 11.3 vs. a tougher schedule, and returns 6 starters. Auburn will rank somewhere in the middle of the pack, taking a significant step forward, but it isn't enough to be spoken of in the same article with Lsu's defense. Not only does Lsu return the nation's top defensive and special teams player, but the nation's top safety, top defensive line, but they also return Brad Wing. The only punter in NCAA history to require a punter spy at all times, and the only punter who can punt directly to a gunner sitting on the 2 90% of the time. With the starting field position he gives the Lsu defense to work with, it will be difficult to score by only running the ball. Final Thoughts:
This will be the first real test for the Tigers, and I expect after a few lax games, they will be in good shape injury-wise. Tiger fans know what not having a QB feels like, and seeing bitch-ass Auburn afflicted with this will be even better than the relief they feel from having Mett onstaff. Auburn would need a top 3 caliber defense to win this game, and they will be far from that, I see them finishing around 55th in points vs., and that level of defense is going to get them run the frick over, then drug down the street to death in this game. Teams that can't pass just have to be great at defense and special teams, or have an all-country type of rushing attack (see Wisconsin prototype) to have a good season, and Auburn has none of these. They will lose, and hopefully have many season ending injuries in this game, 34-10.
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This post was edited on 5/21 at 3:36 pm