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Started By
Message
A little humor to brighten your day
Posted on 2/9/17 at 11:48 am
Posted on 2/9/17 at 11:48 am
A man fell in love with the girl of his dreams. They were perfect for each other, except for one big problem: She was an Arkansas Razorbacks fan and he was an LSU fan.
He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a Razorbacks fan. He went to a doctor and asked if there was a way to do this. The doctor replied, "Yes, it can be done. What we would do is go in and remove half your brain. When you wake up, you will be an Arkansas Razorbacks fan."
The man agrees, and the next week goes into surgery. After the operation the man wakes up and sees the doctor standing beside the bed, with a concerned look on his face. The doctor says to the man, "Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the operation. Instead of removing half your brain we removed 3/4 of it. How do you feel?"
The man sits up, looks around, and says "ROLL TIDE!"
He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a Razorbacks fan. He went to a doctor and asked if there was a way to do this. The doctor replied, "Yes, it can be done. What we would do is go in and remove half your brain. When you wake up, you will be an Arkansas Razorbacks fan."
The man agrees, and the next week goes into surgery. After the operation the man wakes up and sees the doctor standing beside the bed, with a concerned look on his face. The doctor says to the man, "Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the operation. Instead of removing half your brain we removed 3/4 of it. How do you feel?"
The man sits up, looks around, and says "ROLL TIDE!"
This post was edited on 2/9/17 at 11:55 am
13
Posted on 2/9/17 at 11:51 am to L.A.
nice.....but I would have went with "Roll Tide!" on the punchline linePosted on 2/9/17 at 11:53 am to L.A.
quote:
The man sits up, looks around, and says "RAWL TIDE!"
FIFY
Posted on 2/9/17 at 11:54 am to RedTigerRulz
I thought about that. I heard this joke as a UCLA/USC joke. I'm going to change it. I like your punchline better.
This post was edited on 2/9/17 at 11:55 am
Posted on 2/9/17 at 12:09 pm to L.A.
let me fix this
quote:
Instead of removing half your brain we removed all of it
Posted on 2/9/17 at 12:12 pm to L.A.
Upvote
Posted on 2/9/17 at 12:18 pm to L.A.
Hahaha i like it.
I see you edited it towards a different punchline, what was the original?
I see you edited it towards a different punchline, what was the original?
Posted on 2/9/17 at 12:19 pm to GEAUX5
WAR EAGLE!
Posted on 2/9/17 at 12:24 pm to L.A.
I like it.
Posted on 2/9/17 at 12:27 pm to L.A.
quote:
The man sits up, looks around, and says "ROLL TIDE! Where's the cousin of my dreams?"
Posted on 2/9/17 at 12:51 pm to Woverw
During the French Revolution, 3 Americans were captured and sentenced to die at the guillotine.
The first man, an LSU fan, was put under the blade. They asked if he had any last words: He hollered, GOOO TIGERS! they pulled the rope, but the blade didn't fall.
Let him go! It must be God's will that he live!
The second man, a Tulane fan, was put under the blade. His last words were, GO GREENIES! They pulled the rope, but the blade didn't fall.
Let him go! It must be God's will that he live!
The third man, an Aggie fan, was asked for his last words: "Hey fellas, if you untie that knot in the rope, the blade will fall real good. WOOP."
The first man, an LSU fan, was put under the blade. They asked if he had any last words: He hollered, GOOO TIGERS! they pulled the rope, but the blade didn't fall.
Let him go! It must be God's will that he live!
The second man, a Tulane fan, was put under the blade. His last words were, GO GREENIES! They pulled the rope, but the blade didn't fall.
Let him go! It must be God's will that he live!
The third man, an Aggie fan, was asked for his last words: "Hey fellas, if you untie that knot in the rope, the blade will fall real good. WOOP."
Posted on 2/9/17 at 2:43 pm to L.A.
I saw this coming a mile away. Downvote to you, upvote to the Aggie joke.
Posted on 2/9/17 at 2:47 pm to RedTigerRulz
To end in "roll tide", it would have to start with "A man fell in love with his sister"
Posted on 2/9/17 at 5:59 pm to L.A.
Boudreaux’s sitting out on his porch one morning when he sees his friend Thibodeaux coming up the bayou in his pirogue. Boudreaux calls out to his friend.
Boudreaux: Thibodeaux! Where you goin?
Thibodeaux: Duck huntin.
Boudreaux: You ain’t got no gun. How you gonna kill’em?
Thibodeaux: I got duct tape.
Boudreaux: You can’t kill ducks wit duct tape.
Thibodeaux: OK. We’ll see.
Later that afternoon Thibodeaux comes back down the bayou with a boat full of ducks.
Boudreaux: I’ll be damn.
The next morning Boudreaux sees Thibodeaux coming up the bayou again.
Boudreaux: Where you goin today Thib?
Thibodeaux: I’m gon catch me some nutras.
Boudreaux: You ain’t got no traps. How you gonna catch’em?
Thibodeaux: I got some nutrasweet.
Boudreaux: You can’t catch nutras wit nutrasweet.
Thibodeaux: OK. We’ll see.
Later that afternoon Thibodeaux comes back down the bayou with his boat so full of nutrias that it’s about to sink.
Boudreaux: I’ll be damn.
The next morning Boudreaux sees Thibodeaux coming up the bayou again.
Boudreaux: Hey Thib, what’s that you got in your boat?
Thibodeaux: Pussy Willow.
Boudreaux: Hol’ on! I’m comin’ witcha.
Boudreaux: Thibodeaux! Where you goin?
Thibodeaux: Duck huntin.
Boudreaux: You ain’t got no gun. How you gonna kill’em?
Thibodeaux: I got duct tape.
Boudreaux: You can’t kill ducks wit duct tape.
Thibodeaux: OK. We’ll see.
Later that afternoon Thibodeaux comes back down the bayou with a boat full of ducks.
Boudreaux: I’ll be damn.
The next morning Boudreaux sees Thibodeaux coming up the bayou again.
Boudreaux: Where you goin today Thib?
Thibodeaux: I’m gon catch me some nutras.
Boudreaux: You ain’t got no traps. How you gonna catch’em?
Thibodeaux: I got some nutrasweet.
Boudreaux: You can’t catch nutras wit nutrasweet.
Thibodeaux: OK. We’ll see.
Later that afternoon Thibodeaux comes back down the bayou with his boat so full of nutrias that it’s about to sink.
Boudreaux: I’ll be damn.
The next morning Boudreaux sees Thibodeaux coming up the bayou again.
Boudreaux: Hey Thib, what’s that you got in your boat?
Thibodeaux: Pussy Willow.
Boudreaux: Hol’ on! I’m comin’ witcha.
Posted on 2/9/17 at 6:05 pm to sonuvapitcher
A couple more:
A 2nd Grade teacher told her class that she was an Alabama fan. She then asked the children to raise their hands if they were also Alabama fans. Wanting to be like their teacher, all but 1 raised their hands. The teacher looked at little Susie and said, "I see you didn't raise your hand, why not?" Little Susie said, "I am an LSU fan." The teacher asked her why and little Susie said, "Well my mother is an LSU fan and my father is an LSU fan, so that makes me an LSU fan." The teacher responded, "Well what if your mother was a moron and your father was an idiot, what would THAT make you?" “Well”, said little Susie, "I guess I would be an Alabama fan."
Nick Saban passes away and is met at the pearly gates by St. Peter. St. Peter informs Nick that he will be admitted into heaven and offers him the grand tour. St. Peter ends the tour in front of a very nice little red brick home with an Alabama Crimson Tide flag on a pole next to the front door and tells Nick that this will be his home for all of eternity. Nick looks down to the end of the street where he sees a huge white mansion with a long circular driveway with alternating purple and gold flags the entire length of the drive. Nick asks St. Peter, “How come Ed Orgeron gets a huge mansion when all I get is this little house?” St. Peter answers, “That’s not Coach O’s house. It’s God’s”
A 2nd Grade teacher told her class that she was an Alabama fan. She then asked the children to raise their hands if they were also Alabama fans. Wanting to be like their teacher, all but 1 raised their hands. The teacher looked at little Susie and said, "I see you didn't raise your hand, why not?" Little Susie said, "I am an LSU fan." The teacher asked her why and little Susie said, "Well my mother is an LSU fan and my father is an LSU fan, so that makes me an LSU fan." The teacher responded, "Well what if your mother was a moron and your father was an idiot, what would THAT make you?" “Well”, said little Susie, "I guess I would be an Alabama fan."
Nick Saban passes away and is met at the pearly gates by St. Peter. St. Peter informs Nick that he will be admitted into heaven and offers him the grand tour. St. Peter ends the tour in front of a very nice little red brick home with an Alabama Crimson Tide flag on a pole next to the front door and tells Nick that this will be his home for all of eternity. Nick looks down to the end of the street where he sees a huge white mansion with a long circular driveway with alternating purple and gold flags the entire length of the drive. Nick asks St. Peter, “How come Ed Orgeron gets a huge mansion when all I get is this little house?” St. Peter answers, “That’s not Coach O’s house. It’s God’s”
Posted on 2/9/17 at 6:11 pm to L.A.
This shite is going viral
Posted on 2/10/17 at 7:38 am to Captain Crown
Posted on 2/10/17 at 8:39 am to L.A.
wanna know the difference between bama and lsu fans........ our mascot is cooler....seriously what child grows up and says hey I wanna be a f*cking elephant
Posted on 2/10/17 at 9:06 am to Damariun
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