re: moving in prior to marriage

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No

Like a test drive

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that's essentially marriage...you took that car home knowing you want to buy it...you're just scared to make the payments

you live together, share food, rent, bed, mail etc....

It's your life, so live it as you wish...but if and when you decide to get married, don't expect family and friends to be excited about it...the special time and bond celebrating your love for each other in marriage (New car smell) is already gone

quote:

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Like a test drive

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Here’s the thing, and I know most people will disagree. When you test drive a car, you’re looking for deal breakers that will cause you to decide against the car.

That’s not what’s really going on when you cohabitate. You already know if there are deal breakers just from having dated. The question that most people are trying to answer is, “how easy will it be to integrate my entire life with this person before I commit”.

The problem with this is that it is actually beneficial to learn how to do this integration upfront because you’ll basically be doing it to some degree for your entire marriage. The two of you will constantly change and constantly have to adjust to each other. When you cohabitate as a “test drive”, you’re essentially looking for a situation that will require the least amount of sacrifice and the fewest accommodations. IMO, it’s not a good way to approach marriage.

Also, even if you deem this person worthy of marriage today (based on how easy they are to live with), you have no idea what living with this person is going to be like in 10 years. Or 20. It’s just not a very useful arrangement IMO if the ultimate goal is a life-long marriage.