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Children Deciding Which Parent to Live With

Posted on 5/2/19 at 8:59 am
Posted by Guido Merkens
Member since Mar 2006
4346 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 8:59 am
At what age can a minor decide where he wants to live?

My son lives with me 60% of the time (mostly school year) and goes to his Mom’s house the other 40% (mostly summer time - she lives 65 minutes away).

He is 14 and asked for a 75/25 split (with one week at his moms and one week at my house, alternating for the summer vacation).

My lawyer said a court won’t allow a 14 year old to make this decision and that it doesn’t help that I’d be at work most of the summer.

The lawyer said wait until he is 15-16.

Can any OT folks shed some light on this type of custody issue?


Updates: The mom moved away

She works as a nurse but has a new hubby who is a “stay at home” dad.

This post was edited on 5/2/19 at 11:11 am
Posted by Motorboat
At the camp
Member since Oct 2007
22751 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:01 am to
Maybe listen to your lawyer instead of coming to a message board?
Posted by Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
21661 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:01 am to
The age varies in different states.

Posted by Guido Merkens
Member since Mar 2006
4346 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:03 am to
The state is Louisiana.

He is at that age where he feels he is missing out w/ his school friends.
Posted by BoxmanTiger
Ohio
Member since Dec 2013
666 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:03 am to
The court makes the final decision, but absolutely takes the child’s request into consideration. The bad part is having to have your child involved in this decision.
Posted by MorbidTheClown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
66593 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:04 am to
quote:

He is 14 and asked for a 75/25 split (with one week at his moms and one week at my house, alternating for the summer vacation).
quote:

court won’t allow a 14 year old to make this decision


then, how about the parents make the decision.
Posted by Tiger1242
Member since Jul 2011
32019 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:05 am to
Had a friend who went through this as a kid and the court took his opinion into account (not sure how much they really listened but they let him give input at least)

We were 12 or 13
Posted by Cump11b
Member since Sep 2018
2026 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:05 am to
Look up the state statute/law regarding this
Posted by Guido Merkens
Member since Mar 2006
4346 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:08 am to
His mom doesn’t want him alone at my house while I’m at work all day.

She is overprotective, even though he is home alone from 3pm - 5:15 pm each day after school.
Posted by geaux1976
Denham Springs, LA
Member since Aug 2011
198 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:10 am to
It depends on the judge and also the child. If he is a mature 14 year old the judge may take his preference into account as long as he/she sees both parents as suitable. There is no set age at which they can decide and it all depends on how heavily your judge lets the child preference weigh in. I just went through this and the judge took my 12 year olds (at the time) thoughts very seriously. She is also very smart, mature, and will probably be a lawyer herself one day. So ask around about the judge's history with input from kids. Odds are you lawyer has dealt with this judge before and has a good idea of where they stand.
Posted by Guido Merkens
Member since Mar 2006
4346 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:13 am to
Thanks Geaux76, that’s the best advice I’ve heard yet.
Posted by Snipe
Member since Nov 2015
11134 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:18 am to
You and your Ex are the parents.

You two should at least be able to work together for the betterment of your child. Leave the lawyers and courts out of raising your children. You've likely paid the enough already. Save your money.

You don't have to like each other to do whats beat for your child without it being a production.

Me an my ex's relationship got exponentially better when we realized this.

Good luck.

Posted by Mid Iowa Tiger
Undisclosed Secure Location
Member since Feb 2008
18828 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:19 am to
What state? Texas is 12 or 13 for a chambers meeting with the judge. The child doesn't get final say, but the judge is supposed to give serious weight to the child's desire.
Posted by AU_251
Your dads room
Member since Feb 2013
11560 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:20 am to
quote:

Cump11b



just want to say your AVI pic is
Posted by Cump11b
Member since Sep 2018
2026 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:27 am to
Posted by Guido Merkens
Member since Mar 2006
4346 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:27 am to
The state is Louisiana
Posted by caliegeaux
Member since Aug 2004
10247 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:35 am to
the child can't make their own decision legally until 17 or 18...........HOWEVER, a judge may take a child's word into consideration after they are around 13-14 years old.

also, any plan that doesn't show each parent TRYING to accommodate whats best for the child, is frowned upon.


That'll be $2,500 please.
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:36 am to
quote:

the child can't make their own decision legally until 17 or 18.

depends on the state, MS or AL can raise that to 19, that will be $3500 please
Posted by caliegeaux
Member since Aug 2004
10247 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:37 am to
we were talking about Louisiana.


$4,500 please
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 5/2/19 at 9:39 am to
quote:

we were talking about Louisiana.
quote:

$4,500 please


didn't specify, five grand will do please
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