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re: Remarrying after a long relationship

Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:38 pm to
Posted by sicboy
Because Awesome
Member since Nov 2010
77649 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:38 pm to
I think a rule of thumb is take your time. People make bad and rushed decisions when they're grieving. I know from experience.
Posted by gumbo2176
Member since May 2018
15270 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:39 pm to
65 here, been married 3 times and lost the first 2----to divorce. If anything happens to my current, and by far the absolute best wife, I know I'd not marry again.

At my age, I just don't have the patience to wade through another relationship, no matter how much time I have on my hands.
Posted by TigrrrDad
Member since Oct 2016
7144 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:39 pm to
Been married almost 23 years. When my wife passes, I guess a large part of my future path will be determined by whether or not they find the body.
Posted by Mid Iowa Tiger
Undisclosed Secure Location
Member since Feb 2008
18756 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:41 pm to
First, if it was only a few months ago he is rushing.

I am divorced after a 26 year marriage and have zero intention of dating or remarrying. I would consider dating if it wasn't always expected to "go" somewhere.

I do have a ton more time for work and hunting now though and am 5 weeks out from a 10 day elk hunt this year and planning for at least two next year. Could not have done that married.
Posted by brian_wilson
Member since Oct 2016
3581 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:43 pm to
My step father was married for 20+ years before his wife died, and my mother was married for 20 years before her divorce. They have been married for 20+ years now. I think their current marriage is healthier and happier for both than their first one, although I haven't asked my step father this question. Comments he makes lead me to believe this.

I am at year 21 of year marriage. Losing my wife woudl crush me, but I bet that I would get back in a LTR after it. I love being married.
Posted by castorinho
13623 posts
Member since Nov 2010
82066 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:43 pm to
quote:

several months ago
how many is "several"?
Posted by AnorexicGator
northshore
Member since Apr 2018
258 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:45 pm to
A little over 3 months.
Posted by castorinho
13623 posts
Member since Nov 2010
82066 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:48 pm to
Man, that's just way too soon.
This post was edited on 9/14/18 at 2:48 pm
Posted by LSUgirl4
Member since Sep 2009
39501 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:48 pm to
i fracking do that now, you big baby.
old people shouldn't have to be alone.
This post was edited on 9/14/18 at 2:49 pm
Posted by Eli Goldfinger
Member since Sep 2016
32785 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:48 pm to
I wouldn’t do it again.

The only reaon would be if you were still young enough to want kids.
Posted by WaltTeevens
Santa Barbara, CA
Member since Dec 2013
10990 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:50 pm to
quote:

It's also their mother. Not to say their anger is justified, but it's a hard thing to come to terms with. My mom passed almost 10 years ago and after a few months my dad started seeing this lady, and I wanted him to be happy, but I didn't like having her around.


I get that. It's probably weird as hell.
Posted by baldona
Florida
Member since Feb 2016
20541 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:50 pm to
As said everyone is different. I love my wife and hope to be with her forever, but unless I meet a single Victoria secret model I’ll be taking a good amount of time off before I seriously date. Take some trips with the kids and overall take some time.

I also think some people prefer being single and some enjoy the companionship. No idea how you can expect to replace a wife of 20+ years in a couple months though. You are bound to have some awkward moments.
Posted by udtiger
Over your left shoulder
Member since Nov 2006
99226 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:51 pm to
27 years married.

If I found myself single, I would not get remarried.
Posted by Eli Goldfinger
Member since Sep 2016
32785 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:53 pm to
quote:

I am divorced after a 26 year marriage and have zero intention of dating or remarrying. I would consider dating if it wasn't always expected to "go" somewhere. I do have a ton more time for work and hunting now though and am 5 weeks out from a 10 day elk hunt this year and planning for at least two next year. Could not have done that married.


This guy’s dead on.
Posted by AnorexicGator
northshore
Member since Apr 2018
258 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 2:55 pm to
quote:

You say that until you start cooking your own meals, cleaning the house, washing your clothes, and keeping the yard clean. Plus being alone every night.


I do most of that already I do see your point.
Posted by TigrrrDad
Member since Oct 2016
7144 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 3:15 pm to
quote:

You say that until you start cooking your own meals, cleaning the house, washing your clothes, and keeping the yard clean. Plus being alone every night.


After 23 years of marriage, that’s pretty much my life already.

Except I pay someone to do the yard.
Posted by Landmass
Member since Jun 2013
18191 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 3:17 pm to
quote:

What say OT?


PIIHB
Posted by Sidicous
Middle of Nowhere
Member since Aug 2015
17297 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 3:37 pm to
My "Uncle" (maternal in-law, 2nd marriage of my blood Aunt but they were married for like 35-40 years) swore he would not remarry at Aunt's funeral. His 1st marriage was a wreck, my Aunt was no peach to deal with at all and died of Alzheimer's. Most everyone believed him. I literally laughed knowing he is a dependent type person.

Everyone but me was shocked when he remarried within 6 months. LOL He and the new wife are old people almost literally falling apart physically. That's what this marriage is about: 2 old people taking care of each other, covering the others weaknesses. Heck, if it works for them, then more power to them.
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
68435 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 3:44 pm to
quote:

That's what this marriage is about: 2 old people taking care of each other
Yep, you're going to need someone to wipe your arse for you when things like incontinence hit. Beats a nursing home.
Posted by EA6B
TX
Member since Dec 2012
14754 posts
Posted on 9/14/18 at 3:57 pm to
Slightly d
quote:

I just don't think I have the energy or patience for another commitment. I think I'd live the remaining of my days out as a bachelor.


I was divorced after a long marriage, I dated for several years, and realized that if were to a woman that was not overtly crazy, addicted to drugs or alcohol, had her finances order, and didn't live in a constant state of family chaos and drama I should probably hang on to her because it was such a rarity. I finally did and have been again for 13 years, it has all been great, nothing like my first marriage, experience is a great teacher.
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