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re: Doubt this has happened to a TDer before.
Posted on 12/31/17 at 1:41 am to HubbaBubba
Posted on 12/31/17 at 1:41 am to HubbaBubba
That is a sad story and it sucks, but she gave the child up for adoption. Two other people took on the role of parent to the child and they have every right to parent the child and make decisions regarding that relationship, even when the child reaches adulthood. She should honor the parents wishes to leave it alone.
This post was edited on 12/31/17 at 1:42 am
6
Posted on 12/31/17 at 1:49 am to TigernMS12
quote:You know, for most people, that may be the right way to look at it, and may still be right here, but she waited until he was a grown man to even consider making contact. His adoptive parents stood in the way, even though he should have been able to make his own decision.
That is a sad story and it sucks, but she gave the child up for adoption. Two other people took on the role of parent to the child and they have every right to parent the child and make decisions regarding that relationship, even when the child reaches adulthood. She should honor the parents wishes to leave it alone.
Posted on 12/31/17 at 6:30 am to TigernMS12
quote:
they have every right to parent the child and make decisions regarding that relationship, even when the child reaches adulthood.
The frick is this bullshite? If you're an adult, you get to make decisions for yourself. At least OP's wife was nice enough to go to them first.
Do the adopting parents have the right to tell the child that they cannot search for the birth parents, too? That should be the child's decision, ESPECIALLY as an adult.
Posted on 12/31/17 at 9:47 am to TigernMS12
quote:
That is a sad story and it sucks, but she gave the child up for adoption. Two other people took on the role of parent to the child and they have every right to parent the child and make decisions regarding that relationship, even when the child reaches adulthood. She should honor the parents wishes to leave it alone
This.
Posted on 12/31/17 at 10:02 am to TigernMS12
quote:
and they have every right to parent the child and make decisions regarding that relationship
And that kid at 27, has every right to know he was adopted
Posted on 12/31/17 at 10:20 am to TigernMS12
quote:
Two other people took on the role of parent to the child and they have every right to parent the child and make decisions regarding that relationship, even when the child reaches adulthood. She should honor the parents wishes to leave it alone.
frick that. Her child was an adult and deserved to at least know about the adoption. If he didn't want to meet his mom then fine. But keeping that knowledge from him? Pretty fricked up.
This wasn't a 5 year old who might not be able to take the idea of being adopted, this was a mid 20 year old with a family.
Imagine what percentage of people who are adults and would want to know - it'd be a vast majority. You can't just gloss over that.
Posted on 12/31/17 at 12:13 pm to TigernMS12
quote:
That is a sad story and it sucks, but she gave the child up for adoption. Two other people took on the role of parent to the child and they have every right to parent the child and make decisions regarding that relationship, even when the child reaches adulthood. She should honor the parents wishes to leave it alone.
I agree with this. They are the parents to that child in every sense except dna, so although meeting him might have brought some sort of closure to your wife if the parents didn’t want to go down that route you should respect their wishes and not try and circumvent that.
Finding out he died like that has to be a heavy blow to your wife though and I wish y’all the best.
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