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I read here a lot more than I post, but I remember the before and after you. It was night and day, you went from nice guy poster to bitter and cynical overnight it seemed. I felt bad for you, but I think she played you in more ways than one. Women will say anything to get out of something that they want out of, and I think thats what she did to you.

In the span of 6 months, I had a child, then she left (and I found out why) when he was a month old, I lost a good job and then my brother died. I made it to the other side, but that string of (even on their own) life altering events changed me. I'm nowhere close to the same person I was.

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you seem slightly less bitter than you did when it was fresh, but still pretty much just as cynical. its like you took that on as some sort of cloak to prevent yourself from getting hurt again. but ultimately, every minute you spend being someone you didn't intend to be is giving her power over you to this day. not one single person who has ever hurt you deserves the right to change you. that is a privilege reserved for those who love and protect your heart and grow for the better with you.

I think much of the bitterness has faded, but the cynicism has been hard earned.
Women who have these FB perfect lives on display but you peek under the skirt and the truth is dark and tawdry and torrid.
And so damn tempting.

And I've seen it time and time again. The same lines, the same excuses, the same justifications. Some things you can't unsee. And honestly I think it's even helped me...well, not forgive, but at least understand some of the emotions and things my ex did in our relationship.
The addictive, druglike aspect of cheating. I just wish she hadn't kept clinging to something that was so tainted to begin with. Lots of twangs of jealousy and hurt still stem from that. The fear of being replaced.

Honestly, I don't how someone could be the same after going through all that.

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We all have kids, its pretty much a given.

Wanna know the really weird thing? I'm awesome with kids. Whenever I bring my kids to the park and play I inevitably end up with a crowd of kids around me because I will tell stories to mine and play with them and the other kids and up wanting to hear the stories and play too.

But I know how much it bothers me the thought of someone else trying to replace me as "dad" and I wouldn't want to be on the other side of that.

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Until you find a way to let your authentic self be venerable and hopeful again, you should steer clear of serious relationships. because there are good women out there, probably even some interested in you, but none of them deserve to pay for the hurt that someone else caused.

If They want to be with me they'll have to deal with the scars anyway. Plus I'm much more confident like I am now.