This popped up on my Facebook one day:

I'm a biker, please understand...
I have a whip on my brake lever, a knife on my side & a pistol on my back!
The 3 car lengths I leave between the car in front of me isn't for you to cut me off! Contrary to popular belief, I can't stop my bike on a dime!
I speed up, when in your blind spot not to race, but so you see me!
Don't try to pass me on the right just to cut me off, I guarantee my bike is faster than that piece of shite Prius you bought to save the ecological system for your grandchildren! You know! The Prius you drive @ 90 MPH. thinking y'all are saving the universe you dumb shite!
I ride in the left lane usually 10-15 MPH over the speed limit. This way I only have to worry about arse-hats like you on my right side! Also to pass the idiots in front of me & keep the dumbfks behind me!
Please put your phone down & stop texting! Because the life you save may be mine! Or yours! Remember about my whip & other 2 friends...
My bike is loud so you deaf sombitches know I'm near!
When making a lane change, the manufacturer of that Prius you bought installed little devices known as MIRRORS! I recommend utilizing them & the neck the good lord gave you! Instead of just taking position in the vary lane I possess...
I ride with my high-beams on at all times, this is so you blind assess can see me day or night! Please don't flash me... You're not going to like my response & no you're not #1!
When I grab my whip that's just a warning! If you take notice you'll never know about my knife or my Lil Friend!
I have a roll of pennies unleashed in my vest pocket! If you continue to "F" with me you'll receive what is known as "pennies from heaven"! A few thrown over my shoulder & you'll be making a quick trip to Dent Dr. & you'll know the tune to "safelight" & will be singing it in your sleep... You know the one! "Safelight repair, safelight replace"!
So watch out for this Biker & all my Brothers & Sisters! Not just this weekend! Let's just make it a habit! Y'all will be better off!
Safelight repair, safelight replace! Y'all are singing that song now huh?!
If your my biker friend & agree, please feel free to copy & paste! Might as well get the word out!!!