re: Anybody have a spouse with rheumatoid arthritis?

my mom has it...which means I may have it one day.

it can range from disabling to mild, and no one has any idea why.

at some point, she will likely hurt a lot in the mornings.

if you start seeing it affecting her joints, I would try to get her on some of the immunosuppressant injections. they are outrageously expensive and have some side effects that will scare you to death, but the benefits often outweigh the risks, in my experience.

get her lined up with the best rheumatologist you can manage and get used to lots of doctor visits for the rest of her life.

fwiw, don't be surprised if she gets some psoriasis or psoriatic arthritis too at some point, because all of that is related.

lastly, it is a pretty rough disease, but lots and lots of people respond well to treatments and have perfectly long, normal lives.