re: Hypothetical: Pels land a top 3 pick in the lottery. Who do we draft?

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Yeah but a top 3 pick is pretty valuable. You could probably trade it for a few B level guys. A 3 team trade that nets you Batum and a starting guard maybe?

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if we do that, I will personally punch demps in his bald arse head

You keep the pick. And if you get one of the two guards, just move jrue to sg if we do re-sign him.