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Started By
Message
Cosmopolitan explains:How To Give Your Partner a Rusty Trombone the Right Way
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:47 am
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:47 am
WTF
1. Talk with your partner about if/how the RT will play out.
2. Have your partner clean up, but they don't need to douche.
3. You might want to take off your lipstick for this one.
4. Play an overture before you get to the trombone symphony (ugh sorry, foreplay, I'm talking about how you should do foreplay).
5. You can use lube on both sides, but definitely use it for at least the hand job.
6. Steer clear of bacteria and STIs.
7. Have your partner stand or lie on their back.
8. Use flat, wide tongue strokes.
9. Improve your HJ game by trying twisting motions, the "infinite hole" technique, and frenulum stimulation.
10. Ask your partner to return the favor.
1. Talk with your partner about if/how the RT will play out.
2. Have your partner clean up, but they don't need to douche.
3. You might want to take off your lipstick for this one.
4. Play an overture before you get to the trombone symphony (ugh sorry, foreplay, I'm talking about how you should do foreplay).
5. You can use lube on both sides, but definitely use it for at least the hand job.
6. Steer clear of bacteria and STIs.
7. Have your partner stand or lie on their back.
8. Use flat, wide tongue strokes.
9. Improve your HJ game by trying twisting motions, the "infinite hole" technique, and frenulum stimulation.
10. Ask your partner to return the favor.
20
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:49 am to Placebeaux
It's about god damn time Cosmopolitan actually did women a service.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:49 am to Placebeaux
You put a lot of work into this thread. Have an upvote 
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:49 am to Placebeaux
This was absolutely disgusting to read while I was blowing up the toilet at work
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:51 am to Placebeaux
Listen...if a chick wants to lick my arse, I'm not going to stop her but it takes a special butthole for me to return the favor.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:52 am to Placebeaux
E for Effort
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:53 am to Trout Bandit
quote:
for me to return the favor.
How can they call it a trombone on a chick, more like a rusty turntable.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:53 am to LNCHBOX
quote:He certainly did... really hit home for him.
You put a lot of work into this thread. Have an upvote
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:54 am to Placebeaux
I've never had my a-hole eaten. Is it that good?
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:56 am to BigPerm30
quote:
I've never had my a-hole eaten. Is it that good?
I have no idea but it would have to be a chick that I would never see again. How could you date or marry someone that did this.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:57 am to Placebeaux
I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I've never had my arse licked.
By a female
By a female
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:57 am to Placebeaux
No Alabama Hot Pocket no care.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 7:58 am to Placebeaux
Author of that article really putting that journalism degree to work
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:01 am to Placebeaux
quote:
Ask your partner to return the favor.
What would you even call this? Rusty trumpet?
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:02 am to TheAlmightySmash
rusty turntable
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:03 am to TheAlmightySmash
quote:
What would you even call this? Rusty trumpet?
Rusty Jew's Harp
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:03 am to Placebeaux
Women are vile kinky creatures. Underneath all that make up and good girl charade is a sewage filled reservoir of bdsm and whore behaviors. That's why marriage and having children is a terrible idea.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:05 am to Placebeaux
Cleveland Steamer best practices to be included in next month's issue
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:05 am to Placebeaux
I'm not even sure I want to know what a Rusty Trombone is
Posted on 2/23/17 at 8:12 am to TJGator1215
quote:
That's why marriage and having children is a terrible idea.
It all stops after this
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