How Republicans Plan To Repeal And Replace Obamacare

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Congressional Republicans have repeatedly stated their intention to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act soon after Donald Trump takes office.



STEP 1:

Bring witnesses to congressional hearing to testify about the horrors of being able to afford their cancer treatment

STEP 2:

Obama forced to watch as Mitch McConnell shreds each individual page of the Affordable Care Act in front of him

STEP 3:

Hold press conference to remind Americans we all have to die sometime

STEP 4:

Draft new healthcare bill with, uh, vouchers, maybe? Yeah, vouchers sound good. Put them in there.

STEP 5:

Double-check to make sure there’s no women stuff in there

STEP 6:

Obstruct new healthcare bill a few times purely out of habit

STEP 7:

Do a quick 30,000-page copy edit

STEP 8:

Part where 20 million people lose health insurance

STEP 9:

Republican leaders take celebratory photo with bunch of sick Americans who can no longer afford treatment

STEP 10:

Guy with red lump on thigh guesses he’ll just wait and see

STEP 11:

Paul Ryan goes home and hugs family with firm belief he has done good and important work

theonion

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