re: 401k meeting today. Right way to ask about high fees??

Have you looked at the actual fees of the 401(k) or just judging based on the mutual fund fees?

Yes, there are other fees besides mutual fund expense ratios to consider

Different share classes pay different fees to the plan administrator or even back to the participants and are used to offset expenses of the plan.

You should read the annual fee breakdown to figure out how the TPA, the Advisor and others are paid.

I assume you have looked up the FORM 5500 for your plan already??