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re: Need Help for an Alcoholic Family Member

Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:18 am to
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
71499 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:18 am to
If he doesn't want to get better, he won't. If he wants to get better, there will still be plenty of times where he screws up.

Dr. Drew always says support the recovery not the addiction.

Also try al anon meetings, they are honestly for things like this.
This post was edited on 10/10/16 at 9:19 am
Posted by darnol91
Member since Jun 2015
749 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:28 am to
I recently watched a friend go through a similar situation with his father. It's terribly sad. His dad knew he was an alcoholic, though, but he figured since he had been doing it so long and nothing bad had happened up until that point. After 6 months or so of his family urging, they finally tried an alternate route. They had taken him to a psychiatrist, but he did not trust him. So, they took him to his long term primary care physician, who he had been lying to about his alcohol abuse. It was a joint appointment with the gentleman's two children (adult age) and wife. It worked. It wasnt overnight, but buddy told me he said it "meant more" to his father coming from a doctor he trusted. It was by no means overnight, but he has begun his road to recovery. Luckily for them there were no big accidents, or disease, at that point. Hopefully he sticks to it!

Try seeing if the gentleman has a doctor he trusts/is his friend that will consult with him and his family/you. Ask him what he is most comfortable doing, and explain that you are only doing it because you care, but that you will support him no matter what his decision is. If you can get him in with someone he trusts, and is also a medical professional, maybe that particular professional can speak on the affects, long term and short term, including family problems, that comes with what he is doing. Keep trying, and dont give up. Who means the most to him in the entire world? Children? Grand children? Have them tell him how important he is, and that he is hurting himself and them. This doesnt work with everyone, but it worked with my father on both alcohol and cigarettes. After I told him when I was around 9, he quit cold turkey. My mom on the other hand, she just feels attacked if we approach it in that way. I've come to the point that she will probably never change.

ETA: Best of luck! Stay strong and never quit fighting for those you care about!
This post was edited on 10/10/16 at 9:29 am
Posted by Dunder Mifflin
Naples, FL
Member since Dec 2009
608 posts
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:34 am to
Thanks for the advice everybody. I really appreciate it. We've tried everything thing in the book short of Baker acting him. He denies he is drinking hard liquor, but I can see the levels of the bottles keep going down every day. It's sad.

What's also sad is that his wife won't help either as she has the same problem. The whole family can see it except for those two. Everyone has had quiet conversations with him telling him we love him and need him.

I guess a full blow intervention has to be the next step, but I don't think it will go very well. Should we try to isolate him away from his wife during the intervention since she may interfere with it? He is a retired military big wig, so it is very difficult for us to try to "preach" to someone who has fought in Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.

Thanks again.
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