re: I was this close from being the worst person on the planet today.

Yep you dodged a bullet.

On a similar note, my wife was making small talk with a woman in a restaurant one time and asked her when her baby was due. She wasn't pregnant.

Another time we were at a Christmas party and my wife told a woman that she didn't realize there was a tacky sweater contest. There wasn't.

She's got a gift.

In her defense though, that was one ugly arse sweater.