Heaviness is only a detriment if she plans to carry it. And it will actually have an easier slide to rack since it has an external hammer. If you manually pull the hammer back, the slide will be much easier to rack than the XD.

quote:
Smaller does NOT mean smoother.

No it doesn't, which is why you shouldn't be trying to get her a smaller gun.

I'll do what I always do and paste a bookmarked post I did on women's firearms:

From myself and other reputable guys here, the most important thing to consider with the above statement is this:

Let her choose her own gun!

She's more likely to use it and be confident with it if it's something she chose herself. Too many men will buy a handgun and just throw it in his wife's hand, "here, use this." This is a very bad way of going about it.

Now, with that being said, something else must be answered:

What does she plan to use it for? Home protection? Car gun? Carry gun?

And let me get this out of the way before I continue: for human targets, 9mm = 40 = 45 in terms of mythical "knockdown power." I choose 9mm because you get the most ammo in your magazine. On to the rest...

For any shooter, a larger gun (dimensionally, not caliber) is ALWAYS easier to shoot. A metal-framed full sized gun is even easier to shoot since it weighs more and negates one of the big barriers with new shooters (felt recoil). In this regard, weight isn't a terrible thing. But I always suggest a full sized 9mm to any new buyer regardless of the buyer's intended purpose. If he/she wants a smaller gun to carry he/she can get it later. But having the "base" for a good home defense handgun, i.e. full sized 9mm, is a great place to start. You get a full grip, a full length barrel, a large sight radius, more weight (less recoil), a lighter recoil spring (easier to rack), and a larger magazine. These all make a full sized gun very easy to shoot. Add on a light under the rail (weight directly under the muzzle) and it will be even easier to shoot with less felt recoil.

Once the new shooter has mastered and trained well with a full sized handgun, he/she can work his/her way "up" to a smaller gun. The logic sounds backwards but it's quite basic actually. The smaller the gun, the sharper the recoil. Getting your wife a tiny 38 revolver may not be what's best for her because they are insanely difficult to shoot accurately. They make for a great belly gun but they have extremely long and heavy trigger pulls and have no sights to speak of. But, if she doesn't train often and learn to clear semi auto malfunctions or has difficulty with the controls, it may be easier. But anyone that tells you a woman cannot rack a slide is wrong. Yes, it is harder for them, but they are usually not using a proper racking method or the gun is tiny and has a stiff spring that takes practice to manipulate. Point your thumb toward your chest, gripping the slide behind the ejection port with the base of your palm and the tips of your fingers. Simultaneously grip the slide while pushing the gun from the grip of your hand on the slide. This will cause the slide to move all the way to the rear and slam forward on its own weight. This is the best way to properly rack a round into the chamber while utilizing large muscle groups (chest, shoulders) instead of isolating the forearms. Do not pull the slide back and push it forward - it does not need your assistance.

For carry guns, most people usually have a rotation of guns, myself included. But I would say the best place to start in terms of a carry gun would be a single stack 9mm. The old adage that you hear is, "carry the largest gun you can comfortably carry." For most people, a full sized, full-gripped, double stack handgun will become cumbersome to carry and eventually be left at home for most people. What's the good in a carry gun if it isn't on you? This is where a single stack 9mm comes in handy - thinness, lightweight, and maximum ammo for its size (versus 40 and 45). Yes, it is more difficult to shoot than a full sized gun and carries a smaller magazine, but its intended purpose is for carry. It is ideal for this role. Rather than having the same gun do everything, having a gun for each role is better, albeit a bit more expensive.

But, for women, their tighter-fitting clothing makes finding a carry gun more difficult. There are other carry methods for women but I still think the best for any person is inside-the-waistband carry. There are a lot of blogs that deal with women's carry (cornered cat, a girl and a gun) and know more about the topic than I do. But I do know they can be successfully carried this way. "But what about purse carry?" you ask...

I have never been a big fan of off-body carry. While pocket carry and inside-the-waistband carry are the two best, purse carry allows the carrier to put a larger gun in a convenient carrying case. The problem is that the gun is not in your possession and is simply out in the open hidden in a container. There was a story recently of a baby accidentally shooting his/her mother in the head with a gun carried in a purse. While purse carrying is better than not carrying at all, it can be seen as worse with a risk like this. Plus if you've ever seen a purse snatching live or on video, they are EXTREMELY violent. Imagine trying to retain control of your weapon if you're being drug around by your purse strap. It's a lose-lose.

So there's my suggestion - a full sized 9mm. I would keep it simple and avoid some guns that have safeties since they require more training. But ultimately her preference will beat anything out. Finding a gun that has a thin grip taper will ultimately be the most comfortable for someone with smaller hands. A few good examples from the big-player manufacturers for a first 9mm are:

S&W M&P
Springfield XD
Glock 17/19
Ruger SR9
Walther PPQ
HK VP9
FN FNS9

If these make her arms tired from holding for too long, then getting a "compact" may be slightly better. "Compact" simply means that the grip and slide are shorter than a full sized gun. The gun itself is typically still somewhat large and will produce more recoil than a full sized gun. But they are still easy to handle. Of the ones I listed up there^, nearly all of them have a compact counterpart.

If you'd prefer she'd have something lighter-recoiling that is heavier, there are a few metal-framed handguns to consider. They have a few more controls than most polymer guns and are hammer-fired, meaning the hammer that strikes the firing pin is visible on the outside of the gun. Some have safeties and decockers that require a bit more training but can be learned:

Sig Sauer P226/228/229
Beretta 92/96
CZ 75/P01
1911

All of these can be had in 9mm. If you step up the cartridge to 40 or 45, expect a bit more felt recoil.

If she prefers the simplicity of a revolver, I would suggest:

Ruger GP100 (4 inch)
S&W 686P (4 inch)

These are great full sized 357 revolvers that shoot even softer with 38 specials. Again, these are not snub-nose revolvers. The triggers will be better, the grip will be larger and more comfortable, and they will have much better sights. Plus, they will be either 6 or 7 shot instead of 5 giving you more ammo for the fight. If she doesn't plan on carrying her revolver, get her something full sized. I cannot stress this enough.

Sorry to the OB for the length. I'm book marking this to use later since the question of getting the wife a handgun comes up often.