re: Any of you have experience with Stepchildren and their other parent?

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I would say that you need to understand that it isn't fair to her child if you and the child get attached to one another and then you decide to walk away.

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Speaking from experience, this is the most important issue, and is the ONLY thing you have control over in this situation.

Don't stick around with the plan that dad will fade away in time - it may happen, but probably won't. If you can't deal with him being a part of mom's (and your) life for the duration, then get out, and do it now.

If you see a future, and are sure about it, then understand you are making a commitment to the baby as well as mom. Don't set the kid up for heartbreak.

Don't be that guy.