re: Lifeguard caught sleeping on the job

I used to smoke weed and sleep when I was a lifeguard in L.A. Some frick yells at me about someone drowning out there, I 'em to call 911 and leave me the frick alone.

I remember one time I was scoping out some incredible chick when some kid yells at me that his mom's drowning. Unfortunately I have a big stiffie from checking out the babe, so I gotta wait a minute or two for my boy to settle down. By that time … well, I tried CPR but she was a goner by the time I fished her out.

Hey, shite happens.